Few games exemplify the pitfalls of Poser-based visual novels like Puzzled Life, a fever dream of haphazardly cobbled assets and a writer with ambitions grotesquely in excess of their reach. Intrinsically, Puzzled Life fails on every front of the game development sector from the audio-visual presentation and narrative, to the foundational mechanics that frivol away your time.
The trope-heavy, yet ridiculously contrived story begins with our protagonist exiting their room and stumbling into an argument between what is, ostensibly, their mother and elder sister. In order to exit your bedroom, however, you must first don some clothes (accomplished by clicking your wardrobe) then locate the key to unlock your bedroom door (click the top drawer of your desk); the less said about an interior door that operates with a key-lock mechanism on the inside, the better, as things will only become progressively more bizarre. The argument unfolds rapidly, in a flurry of jumbled lines that are riddled with typographical errors, before the mother addresses you:
"Thats the last time you lock the door of you room. Your
sister had to sleep in my bed last night!
Formatted precisely as you see, the point of contention is that, yes, somehow locking your bedroom door prohibited your sister from entering her room. This, in turn, apparently forced your sister to sleep in her mother's bed, despite...
1) the clear presence of several couches in the room you presently occupy
2) no introduction having been made of the characters nor any explanation as to their relationships
3) the younger of the two women, presumably, being your sister and the subject of any discussion concerning a "sister"
4) Veronica, the aforementioned sister in this argument, having a room that is clearly noted as Veronica's room in the hallway that would not be affected by the state of your bedroom door
5) no mention of any other sibling
...yet, after this baffling interaction, a few scenes later "MAIN QUEST" you'll stride inside your bedroom to discover that "Steph" is topless.
You, a 20-something year old man, share a bedroom with your sister of a similar age.
And, for whatever reason, your mother thought it best to install a lock on the door you share that is controlled by a key.
From the inside.
Even so, narrative events, including the encouter with Steph, are not restricted to the time of day but mere progress through the extremely linear narrative. For instance, if you've retrieved the groceries from the store and fixed the kitchen sink, your progress with Hellen (your mother) will now trigger a new scene. Thus, after waking and dressing I entered the kitchen, clicked Hellen and was treated to a sequence in which, while the room is brightly lit and the UI clearly states it is "Morning," the protagonist inquires if "dinner is ready" then proceeds to devour a plate of pasta.
This same careless hand is applied, as noted, to the script with typographical errors of every conceivable flaw manifesting throughout.
"...trying to adapt to your old but new environment."
"Uggh i overslep again!"
"maaby if you stop acting like child."
"This is a big probem of yours, you know. Relax a but."
These are just a few examples of the horrendous writing, copied verbatim, with no attempt at cherry-picking.
Furthermore, and worse yet, even placing some credence in the notion that a picture is worth a thousand words, the graphical elements of Puzzled Life are no redeeming factor. Assets are of inordinately mismatched quality, renders are low-resolution and backgrounds appear to be created from placeholders; certain items are clearly three-dimensional models, whereas others are essentially clipart. Human models appear either individually washed out or oddly over-saturated; quality across the board is inconsistent, particularly where hair is concerned.
GRAPHICS ---------------------------------- 3 / 10
- Poor quality renders, low-resolution and often marred by artifacts including a grainy-overlay.
- Lack of saturation and natural tone leaves most art appearing washed out.
- Inconsistent quality across the art assets, notably when comparing character models such as that of the protagonist and the women he encounters.
DIALOGUE ---------------------------------- 1 / 10
- Absolutely awash in typographical errors of every conceivable variety; quite often the script is borderline indecipherable.
- Poorly introduced cast and overarching narrative, that leads to puzzling interactions.
- No character progression or growth; improperly conveyed motivations, leaving characters to behave unnaturally.
GAMEPLAY --------------------------------- 2 / 10
- Subpar, even among low-effort titles with third-party models.
- Environmental interaction is unreliable and may demand multiple clicks to toggle.
INNOVATION ------------------------------ 0 / 10
- No attempt to innovate whatsoever, all the tropes of the genre and nothing new to show for it.
SCORE ==================== 6 / 40
HARD PASS, NO REDEEMING ASPECTS
Puzzled Life features antiquated gameplay mechanics that fail to meet even the basic standards established by its contemporaries, a baffling story and clumsy delivery, marred by a writer whose grasp on the English language is pitiable. With such a wide assortment of superior titles available, Puzzled Life fails to measure up much less merit any consideration.
