HTML Abandoned Rags to riches [Reboot v0.3] [Sinichi, Tylerdipres]

[7767]

Overview:​

Welcome to rags to riches.You play as a vengeful character who has teamed up with a ghost to hunt down those who have wronged her.
Anyway this originally started out as a test run learning to write around game engines but we reckon the story here is interesting enough for release

Current game state: Alpha
next update coming very soon

​

Thread Updated: 2022-11-27
Release Date: 2022-11-24
Developer: Sinichi

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Censored: No
Version: Reboot v0.3
OS: Windows
Language: English
Other Game: The Mobile App
Genre:

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Installation:

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Changelog:

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DOWNLOAD
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[Trapitalism101]

I mean this as nicely as possible, but you need to rework this badly, and wait to reveal it until there is some semblance of an actual game there. Grammar and spelling are all over the place and you need to figure out how to gamify the whole thing.

 

[sinichi1998]

I mean this as nicely as possible, but you need to rework this badly, and wait to reveal it until there is some semblance of an actual game there. Grammar and spelling are all over the place and you need to figure out how to gamify the whole thing.

hi Trapitalism101
thanks a lot for giving it a go.
thanks for pointing out the flaws as i am not very good in english i am using grammerly now n hope to correct grammatical errors in the next update . i made the story linear to avoid complications as i am new to twine . ill work on the gamify part.
im thinking of something resembling the job game play in the html real porn life choice by considering this demo version as an intro to mary's story n why she wants to get revenge on john. i would like to know ur thoughts on that . and lastly do u find the story silly.? i would love to get feedback.
thank you.

 

[Trapitalism101]

hi Trapitalism101
thanks a lot for giving it a go.
thanks for pointing out the flaws as i am not very good in english i am using grammerly now n hope to correct grammatical errors in the next update . i made the story linear to avoid complications as i am new to twine . ill work on the gamify part.
im thinking of something resembling the job game play in the html real porn life choice by considering this demo version as an intro to mary's story n why she wants to get revenge on john. i would like to know ur thoughts on that . and lastly do u find the story silly.? i would love to get feedback.
thank you.

It is a bit hard to follow purely on a grammar and spelling basis. I think you need to decide what you want the story to be, what the mechanics are going to look like, and what fetishes you want to cater to.

 

[xmilteach]

thx

 

[Chimp :D]

If you want to keep this game going and you need a proof reader I can help with that.

 

[esoom]

I tried making a game like this myself, spent a while making the character creation system, inventory system & shops and house rent/purchasing system and random NPC generators (with families as well) and an interactive fighting system with turn based and movement system, and clothing system kinda like a cross between DoL and Girl-Life.

But when it came to the story part and making images I was not very good at that part and gave up . I enjoy the programming parts.

 

[Legba]

esoom, you could always provide your programming/code in discrete packets (inventory and shops, NPC generator, etc.) for others to use. It would be super useful for those of us low on coding skill to at the very least review working code for such systems to figure out how to cobble our own together.

 

[BaasB]

I tried making a game like this myself, spent a while making the character creation system, inventory system & shops and house rent/purchasing system and random NPC generators (with families as well) and an interactive fighting system with turn based and movement system, and clothing system kinda like a cross between DoL and Girl-Life.

But when it came to the story part and making images I was not very good at that part and gave up . I enjoy the programming parts.

talk with sinichi1998 maybe you could team up

 

[Candy1970]

to be honest your event switching is like , Being a pinball in a machine ...the mechanics work but its a lot of choices and jumps with not much story to go with it ....i myself am just starting to learn ren'py ......and the best suggestion i have is Work flow and control think about what events you want to happen when and what your choices will lead to , Remember a choice must have a consequence ,every action must have a reaction ...if you want your players to get invested in the character .you need to tell more of her story
If you are just telling her story. and the player is along for the ride .... kind of like "ugg morning comes too early ,Shit late again at this rate i will never graduate"
Then i might as well become a whore like mom ."....No i don't want to think about that there has to be more out there ...Still i am not a good student so options are limited ...." As you into each character she has an internal dialogue about them ,like...

"That's my mom ,since dad split she has become a total slut and an alcoholic ,...But , i guess you could say dad made her that way ,that abusive fuck...."
Either way, its my last year of this shit school and then i can join the real world grind ...fun fun

See the difference ??? character development helps.....your mechanics works but you need story development ....bouncing around to random gifs and images will just make your players dizzy

 

[MachoGuy]

I'm not a dev or a pro writer so i can't give you any advices, but i can tell you this: I like the fact that you're honest, and you tried. You're going to get far if you keep that honesty and keep interacting with the player base don't just drop content you think people would like, search this forum and see for what is demand.

And if you ever feel like your game is shit go play "A wife and a mother" you're going to realize that your game it's a lot better than that even if you didn't make a game yet.

Take your time with the updates(Some people even like that, they call it "slow burn") and do them right.


Do your best man

 

[Vln_]

Hello,

I don't want to be mean, but I think that you need to work on improving your game before going on with the story. Why? Because you can't build a nice house on bad foundations. What you have done so far is not "horrible", I have seen so much worst.



1. First I would recommend using the

You must be registered to see the links

, it's not a magic tool that will allow you to avoid completely bugs, but will at least point out some.
2. Take some risk, what I mean by that is that you published a linear story while you could have done so much more with the incredible tool that twine is. I understood that you made it that way because it's the intro, etc... but honestly it's in my opinion way too simple. You can make something way better than that using variables.
3. Find a writer, not only a proofreader, because it's obvious that you lack inspiration despite having the ideas. Writing is something that require training and experience.
4. Put some efforts on making a proper patreon page, honestly at the moment it feels like you just made it in 3 minutes.
5. Organise your resources folder, it's a mess at the moment, when the game will get bigger you will be in trouble.
6. Please for the sake of compressing: videos/gifs = mp4, images = jpg quality 6-8. Try to find standard sizes for your images.
7. Learn CSS.
8. Learn Javascript.
9. Organise your twine project. Otherwise when your game will be bigger you won't be able to locate some passages easily.
10. Don't give up, it's not easy to make a popular game but it's doable.

Hope you won't think I'm trying to roast you or your game. I'm trying to help a fellow developper. Oh and the magic formula is: hard work.

 

[sinichi1998]

to be honest your event switching is like , Being a pinball in a machine ...the mechanics work but its a lot of choices and jumps with not much story to go with it ....i myself am just starting to learn ren'py ......and the best suggestion i have is Work flow and control think about what events you want to happen when and what your choices will lead to , Remember a choice must have a consequence ,every action must have a reaction ...if you want your players to get invested in the character .you need to tell more of her story
If you are just telling her story. and the player is along for the ride .... kind of like "ugg morning comes too early ,Shit late again at this rate i will never graduate"
Then i might as well become a whore like mom ."....No i don't want to think about that there has to be more out there ...Still i am not a good student so options are limited ...." As you into each character she has an internal dialogue about them ,like...

"That's my mom ,since dad split she has become a total slut and an alcoholic ,...But , i guess you could say dad made her that way ,that abusive fuck...."
Either way, its my last year of this shit school and then i can join the real world grind ...fun fun

See the difference ??? character development helps.....your mechanics works but you need story development ....bouncing around to random gifs and images will just make your players dizzy

thanks a lot for your feed back . i will work on the character development for sure and also on the story choices .

 

[sinichi1998]

I'm not a dev or a pro writer so i can't give you any advices, but i can tell you this: I like the fact that you're honest, and you tried. You're going to get far if you keep that honesty and keep interacting with the player base don't just drop content you think people would like, search this forum and see for what is demand.

And if you ever feel like your game is shit go play "A wife and a mother" you're going to realize that your game it's a lot better than that even if you didn't make a game yet.

Take your time with the updates(Some people even like that, they call it "slow burn") and do them right.


Do your best man

thanks man . really really appreciate it.

 

[sinichi1998]

Hello,

I don't want to be mean, but I think that you need to work on improving your game before going on with the story. Why? Because you can't build a nice house on bad foundations. What you have done so far is not "horrible", I have seen so much worst.

View attachment 966875

1. First I would recommend using the

You must be registered to see the links

, it's not a magic tool that will allow you to avoid completely bugs, but will at least point out some.
2. Take some risk, what I mean by that is that you published a linear story while you could have done so much more with the incredible tool that twine is. I understood that you made it that way because it's the intro, etc... but honestly it's in my opinion way too simple to make something like that.
3. Find a writer, not only a proofreader, because it's obvious that you lack inspiration despite having the ideas. Writing is something that require training and experience.
4. Put some efforts on making a proper patreon page, honestly at the moment it feels like you just made it in 3 minutes.
5. Organise your resources folder, it's a mess at the moment, when the game gets bigger you will be in trouble.
6. Please for the sake of compressing: videos/gifs = mp4, images = jpg quality 6-8. Try to find a standard sizes for your images.
7. Learn CSS.
8. Learn Javascript.
9. Organise your twine project. Otherwise when your game will be bigger you won't be able to locate some passages easily.
10. Don't give up, it's not easy to make a popular game but it's doable.

Hope you won't think I'm trying to roast you or your game. I'm trying to help a fellow developper. Oh and the magic formula is: hard work.

thank you volen i really appreciate it . i will work on most of then , learning css n java may take some time but ill try my best ,
i really like ur game btw.

 

[Logan amith]

Pretty rough.
It has potential but there isn't any actual plot or choice at this point. The concept was good, I could see enjoying this a lot but even overlooking the grammatical errors it's just a bunch of gifs with no real point. I hope it improves, I would love to see where the plot goes.

 

[sinichi1998]

Pretty rough.
It has potential but there isn't any actual plot or choice at this point. The concept was good, I could see enjoying this a lot but even overlooking the grammatical errors it's just a bunch of gifs with no real point. I hope it improves, I would love to see where the plot goes.

ill try my best not to disappoint.

 

[Deleted member 900601]

This is the most half-assed game in the history of half-assed games. Half the shit isn't even capitalized properly, you're really gonna go back through the entire game for that?

 

[Rafster]

I tried making a game like this myself, spent a while making the character creation system, inventory system & shops and house rent/purchasing system and random NPC generators (with families as well) and an interactive fighting system with turn based and movement system, and clothing system kinda like a cross between DoL and Girl-Life.

But when it came to the story part and making images I was not very good at that part and gave up . I enjoy the programming parts.

You sound just like me. I started learning Twine/HTML/JS/Sugarcube on november, and I've been working on the character creation screen, inventory, stats, skills, etc from scratch...and I haven't done the very first passage of the intro yet.

 

[cauldron]

Thank you for your effort, your game is imperfect and far from finished but I like what you trying to do.
Please, don't give up!