Rate and critique my H-game idea

[umbreon2020]

Name: Honey X Club
General Plot: (note: The plots not supposed be super deep or anything, I just want a funny reason for why your working at the club, the good writing will come from the girls you can meet)
You are a lonely virgin in NYC whose kinda depressed and then you get hit by a truck and die, when that happens the goddess of luck is on the other side telling you your life sucked ass so you're getting another chance, so she blesses you with charm and fills out a job application for you at the Honey Club to get your life together. You come back from the dead at your own funeral and thats the general story setup for why you're working at this club.

Gameplay:
Time:

• When you do any action in the game time will pass (time does not pass in real time)
• when its 12:00pm you need to go home for the day
• you start work at 8:00pm
• Depending on the time and day of the week girls will move around the club, talk to others leave or come in (makes the whole thing feel more alive, yknow?)

When you meet a girl you have four options on what you can do with her

• Event
• Flirt
• Ask a question
• Gift
• Sex

What the options do

• Flirt and gifts are how you raise her affection (more on that later), gifts will raise her affection more since they cost money and consumes items
• When you press the flirt button you will be given three options on what you want to say, each girl will of course react differently
• You can ask a girl one question a day, where you will be able to learn more about the girls (and be able to more reliably pick better "flirts"/gifts) when she answers a question it will permanently be on you phone for you to check whenever you want
• Events happen when you reach affection milestones (will often require you to reach a certain level of affection), these can vary between sex scenes and dates
• Sex just lets you do sex scenes that youve unlocked

Jobs and Mental Energy:

• You have Mental Energy that decreases every time you do anything with a girl, doing things like asking questions wont decrease it much, but things like sex can decrease it a lot
• When your Mental Energy hits 0 you cannot talk to girls
• doing your job will restore your social meter and get you tips (money)
• random sexual events can happen while doing your job so it isn't completely boring
• gamplay will be you going back and forth between doing work and talking to girls
• doing your job can earn you skill points for the skill tree

Ignore the shitty looking art, it's going to look way better when I'm done, the girl with the "..." above her head mean she is a main character that i can talk to, the characters with water above their head mean they want water, and the character with the BAR above his head is the bartender

(Final game will not look this bad I promise)

Skill tree:

• the skill tree will allow you to unlock skills (duh)
• some skills are job related and give you more money
• some skills give you higher status at the club wich unlocks more areas (which means new jobs and girls)
• some skills let you do perverted things with girls (i havnt fleshed this idea out to much but its gonna be shit like flipping skirts, grabbing ass, going for hugs to cop a feel of some tits)

Phone:

• once you get close enough with a girl she will give you her contacts
• with that you can now text her
• texting is like what you would expect, you press the text button and you will be able to talk with pre written responses
• Girls can send you pics and nudes
• you can look at her social media pfp for pictures (will probably just function as a gallery)
• phone also lets you fast travel throughout the club since its pretty big

Areas of the club:

• Bar
• Casino
• VIP area
• strip club
• Art/Band area
• outdoors area
• each area will have different girls, when you start out you will only have access to the bar but as you earn promotions you get more access to the club
• each area will probably have its own unique job

Be honest, what do you think of this? Im pretty confodent in my art and writing, and ive been using rpgmaker for a long time and know the ins and outs of that engine, so i think I can pull off a pretty good game. Anything you dislike? anything you wanna add, lemme know please

 

[Catapo]

Don't take this personally, it's just my honest opinion so take it however.

and then you get hit by a truck and die...You come back from the dead at your own funeral

Why ??? What is the point of dying.

You are a lonely virgin in NYC whose kinda depressed ... the goddess of luck ... blesses you with charm and fills out a job application for you at the Honey Club to get your life together

This is more than enough.

when its 12:00pm you need to go home for the day
you start work at 8:00pm

So you have only 4 hours in game time for actions. Seems a bit short.

Depending on the time and day of the week girls will move around the club, talk to others leave or come in (makes the whole thing feel more alive, yknow?)

Honestly this could still get boring really quick if the girls follow the same patterns every time.

When you meet a girl you have four options on what you can do with her...What the options do...Phone...

So basically the same mechanics as HuniePop. Not saying it's bad just nothing interesting.

You have Mental Energy that decreases every time you do anything with a girl

So you have to track both time and mental energy for actions. Seems excessive and can quickly become frustrating.

doing your job will restore your social meter

Your what ? What is that and how does it fit in ?

some skills let you do perverted things with girls

What is the point of raising affection by flirting and gifts then ?

Right now to me this only seems like a mess of ideas thrown together. Definitely needs more work IMO but it could be interesting eventually.

 

[umbreon2020]

thanks for the honest criticism, gonna work on cleaning it up

 

[Evizzy89]

Ill be honest it doesn't sound interesting to me at all,
it sounds generic asides from that it seems too much going on mostly the phone and mental energy
but this is coming from someone who prefers femdom elements/battle mechanics so I most likely am not your target audience

I would recommend trying to get feedback from people who are into more dating sims and into harems or romance I dont know what to call it, pick a genre or theme and get feedback from enthusiasts of the genre is all I can really say
but goodluck!

 

[Meaning Less]

There is not enough information to give any valid feedback, especially since your game seems to be gameplay heavy by your description.

You should create a demo/alpha version first if you want opinions.

 

[gunderson]

Here's what I thought when I first read the description: holy shit, zombie protagonist plowing club chicks? Fuck yes.

I'm...somewhat less interested in 'you died a loser, so [insert divinity] grants you another chance,' and you're not at least supposed to get every one of your living relatives incest pregnant or some other kinky shit. I've seen that one a lot.

 

[RandyTyr]

The two crucial things that will influence whether this works out or not are:
a) just the right amount of grind
You want that the player feels that they have earned the next lewd scene, and this needs to happen before they get bored. Getting the balance right will be difficult, and you'll probably need quite a few enthusiastic beta-testers.
b) the women
They need to be attractive and interesting, character- and visual-wise.


When it comes to your ideas so far, you need to make a choice on the super-natural stuff. Either make it actually relevant, or cut it out. The actual game itself seems like it could just start with "Today is your first day working at this club."

I personally dislike loser protagonists, but that's probably a matter of taste.

Your preview looks like you are contemplating using some variant of RPGM? Carefully consider whether this is the right engine. Unless you feel that walking around adds something to the game experience, going for Renpy might be the way to go.

 

[DawnCry]

My personal opinion is that it's a bit generic, I feel like it is gonna be in the lines of huniepop and that's a bit basic.

Related to fetishes it seems to be very vanilla too, at least based on the decription, on this point I would like to know what do you want to do before I give any feedback, because depending on what fetishes you wanna include the way to make the game unique and special can change quite a bit.

For example if you wanna go the harem way then perhaps it would be cool having some harem management (convincing the girls to be a part of your harem, dictating basic rules, dealing with their jealously), it could be fun to play if well developed.

If you wanna be a bit more kinky perhaps having some carnivorous girls that actually pursue you and that you have to dominate to open the harem possibility could be cool too.

Having said that there are many ways to give a soul to a game, but depending on what you wanna include and how it is included stuff changes, for example let's say that a game includes a futanari character, can she have sex with another girl? only the mc? perhaps she is gonna be the dominant partner in the relationship?, those are questions that come after you decide to add x fetish and it's better that you have a very clear idea of what you want to add, I would say that on the fetish aspect it's important to be very direct with your audience.

 

[whizwart]

Premise is a solid as any, though there's plently of titles like it. To stand out, you need bery good writing or very good renders/H-scenes. Honestly, just try your best. If this is an earlt title for you, you will make mistakes, the key is learning from them.

 

[nulnil]

Another gallon in a sea. It sounds like your boring male protag game with no gameplay hook.

 

[Ahsl]

Name: Honey X Club
General Plot: (note: The plots not supposed be super deep or anything, I just want a funny reason for why your working at the club, the good writing will come from the girls you can meet)
You are a lonely virgin in NYC whose kinda depressed and then you get hit by a truck and die, when that happens the goddess of luck is on the other side telling you your life sucked ass so you're getting another chance, so she blesses you with charm and fills out a job application for you at the Honey Club to get your life together. You come back from the dead at your own funeral and thats the general story setup for why you're working at this club.

Gameplay:
Time:

• When you do any action in the game time will pass (time does not pass in real time)
• when its 12:00pm you need to go home for the day
• you start work at 8:00pm
• Depending on the time and day of the week girls will move around the club, talk to others leave or come in (makes the whole thing feel more alive, yknow?)

When you meet a girl you have four options on what you can do with her

• Event
• Flirt
• Ask a question
• Gift
• Sex

What the options do

• Flirt and gifts are how you raise her affection (more on that later), gifts will raise her affection more since they cost money and consumes items
• When you press the flirt button you will be given three options on what you want to say, each girl will of course react differently
• You can ask a girl one question a day, where you will be able to learn more about the girls (and be able to more reliably pick better "flirts"/gifts) when she answers a question it will permanently be on you phone for you to check whenever you want
• Events happen when you reach affection milestones (will often require you to reach a certain level of affection), these can vary between sex scenes and dates
• Sex just lets you do sex scenes that youve unlocked

Jobs and Mental Energy:

• You have Mental Energy that decreases every time you do anything with a girl, doing things like asking questions wont decrease it much, but things like sex can decrease it a lot
• When your Mental Energy hits 0 you cannot talk to girls
• doing your job will restore your social meter and get you tips (money)
• random sexual events can happen while doing your job so it isn't completely boring
• gamplay will be you going back and forth between doing work and talking to girls
• doing your job can earn you skill points for the skill tree

Ignore the shitty looking art, it's going to look way better when I'm done, the girl with the "..." above her head mean she is a main character that i can talk to, the characters with water above their head mean they want water, and the character with the BAR above his head is the bartender
View attachment 2079860
(Final game will not look this bad I promise)

Skill tree:

• the skill tree will allow you to unlock skills (duh)
• some skills are job related and give you more money
• some skills give you higher status at the club wich unlocks more areas (which means new jobs and girls)
• some skills let you do perverted things with girls (i havnt fleshed this idea out to much but its gonna be shit like flipping skirts, grabbing ass, going for hugs to cop a feel of some tits)

Phone:

• once you get close enough with a girl she will give you her contacts
• with that you can now text her
• texting is like what you would expect, you press the text button and you will be able to talk with pre written responses
• Girls can send you pics and nudes
• you can look at her social media pfp for pictures (will probably just function as a gallery)
• phone also lets you fast travel throughout the club since its pretty big

Areas of the club:

• Bar
• Casino
• VIP area
• strip club
• Art/Band area
• outdoors area
• each area will have different girls, when you start out you will only have access to the bar but as you earn promotions you get more access to the club
• each area will probably have its own unique job

Be honest, what do you think of this? Im pretty confodent in my art and writing, and ive been using rpgmaker for a long time and know the ins and outs of that engine, so i think I can pull off a pretty good game. Anything you dislike? anything you wanna add, lemme know please

Pretty good concept, to make the game more popular I suggest adding NTR, a female protagonist, raceplay, cuckolding, mpreg and male birthing, futa, shota and loli, scat, bestiality, necrophilia, hardcore BDSM and guro, all unavoidable of course. These are tags loved by everyone here.