VN - Ren'Py - Serenity Meadows [v0.4] [Storm.ING]

Based on Ver 0.4

A not so original story about young adults who decide to throw a party in their home while the "Landlady" is away on business. Thankfully, the in-game naming mechanic allows you to change the relationships, thus you have the ability to make this an incest game if that's what rocks your cock.

Pros:

1- Many nice looking characters. Lana and Tara being my favorites.

2- The renders are well done and set design was decent, with a few exceptions.

3- The story, although based on an unoriginal premise, held my interest and it ends with a pretty cute twist. It definitely left me looking forward to the next update.

4- I liked numerous characters and look forward to seeing how their storylines develop. Lana, Tara and the unnamed model being my favorites so far.

5- People are complaining about forced sex scenes, but you can choose not to have sex with most of the bimbos if you so choose.

Cons:

1- * The writing was inconsistent and really needs a re-write.

2- There was no music, which felt weird considering it was a game taking place in a party setting.

3- There was a nice scene with a horny teacher, who asks the MC to see him on friday for "private lessons". But the game never shows the follow up meeting. I really wanted to see that scene.

4- Mediocre, but acceptable sex animations.

5- The dev didn't do any renders with night lighting. Hurting the overall mood of the marathon party.

6- The MC model was a mediocre choice, but this is totally subjective.

Final thoughts

There were some nice relationship building scenes and the characters that I felt most attached to were not the ones dropping their panties the first time they saw the MC. Which might disappoint the reader, but I was perfectly fine with it. A big part of creating a good story is building anticipation. It is certainly more believable than mindless sluts hanging out in the bathroom looking for sex with strangers.

If the dev can fix the dialogue and continue to develop the characters and improve on the overall story I feel this game has potential.

*I liked the game enough to do an English re-write of the entire script. Copies of the updated game can be found on my profile and in the games forum.

Good potential but there are several room for improvments.
- First : The lewd scenes are way to quick, jupping straight into it, without the intensity "right before", the entering phase nor the choice of the finish. Those are very important in any games.
- Second : It needs much more choices, even fake on to feel the immersion.
Once those are met, this may very well be a great game.

This is for version 0.3

Fairly mid game, the plot doesn't hook you, the main girls don't get a lot fo character beyond the basics (the shy one and the loud one).
Only side characters have sex at this point and it comes out of nowhere everytime, sex pretty much at the same moment the girl is introduced.

The main girls and a couple of others are pretty enough but not breaking any boundaries, no great use of facial expressions... and the environments are also basic.

Looks fine, thats about it.

Ugly, weird MC.
Good looking LIs that are sluts and fuck around.
Forced sex scenes.
Non-existent story or rather typical college/household incest plot.

Not worth anyones time. If the characters get rebuild into anything other than the college mattress, the MC gets an overhaul and the forced sex scene gets a proper button, maybe the plot is playable.
Ther are just tons of better options.

The only thing that caught my eye on the v0.1 release was Mrs. Drance, an extremely sexy brown eyed, dark haired MILF teacher. I could care less about the other females that were introduced, but I was thinking as long as I saw some more of Mrs. Drance and hopefully some more MILFs that look like her I would be happy. But then v0.2 came out and sure enough, it's just countless boring looking college chicks. Oh, and I saw the mom and she looks like a college chick or a sister. She doesn't look like a MILF at all. Not like Mrs. Drance. I don't have any high expectations for this game. It is just barely okay.

Its a very typical Land Lady AVN. Well except that you are not fucking the land lady well not at this time. Clearly one of your roommates is into you playing the typical stepbro/stepsis cat and mouse game/rivalry

AVN is pretty new/early status it will never be and S Tier but its far from the worse and playable

Played version 0.1.
It's a short game, only 177 images, the play time is maybe 30 mins or so.

However it's a very promising game:
-the girls and MILFs are very pretty and sexy, except one or two.
-the two sisters are very pretty, the younger one is a sweet beauty and the older one is a foxy minx.
-the mom is the prettiest of all, as it should be in an incest game.
-there are several other girls and two other MILFs which are less pretty than the main LIs but still desirable.
The story is just at the beginning, it's just an introduction, but it's promising since the MC is alone with his sisters for one week and both sisters
want to organize parties at home.
Also, the MC's teacher lets him see her pussy and invites him at her home.

As a drawback, the author cannot keep track of the sisters' names (Lana and Luna) and mixes them repeatedly.

It seems that this is the author's first game, but that only makes it more likely that the quality will improve quickly.

Conclusion: the likely rookie author is on the right track, he has a talent for creating very attractive women and girls, the setup of the story is engaging and making it a mom, son and sisters story gives it a better chance of succeeding since those story are very popular (imho).

Best of luck to the author!

Loved the intro !

Just a few mistakes in the code

• Wrong relationship variable used after defining them, when saying who Luna and Lana are to the MC
• Luna/Lana characters variables switched
  (lana.name='Luna' and luna.name="Lana")
• MC default name used instead of MC variable name on one frame
  I don't use default name for MC, but saw an "Ethan" at the end while talking with Nataly and Lissa

But otherwise, this VN has an amazing start , and I can't wait to see more of it !

VERSION: 0.1
SUMMARY: Half baked game based on premise that has been done many times before and many times better.
RATINGS: (out of 5):

1. Models: 4
2. Visuals: 4
3. Animations: 0
4. Characters: 3
5. Story: 2
6. Writing: 2
7. Pacing: 3
8. UI & Sounds: 3
9. Lewd: 0
10. Kinks: 0

Average: 21 of 50 possible points giving a 42% rating i.e. 2-3 stars.

PROS:

1. Models are decent looking, at least the love interests are, the MCs hair though...fml.
2. Renders are decent normally, but are not high quality.
3. Ability to set relationships as you want.

CONS:

1. MC looks kinda weird if not stupid, the hairstyle is...just bad, but also he has little to no eye lashes, his eyes are tiny and far apart, kinda like a pit bull . This is a little bit of nitpick ill admit, but its my opinion.
2. Renders are poor when there is a focus point, like a scene that seems zoomed in, then the image becomes grainy e.g., panty scene for new pledge girl in living room.
3. Writing is sub-optimum and needs more proof reading. While spelling is generally fine, the structure and grammar are poor and result in conversations becoming unnatural. English doesn't seem to be the developers strong suite.
4. Story, nothing new or even interesting in terms of story or even "sub-stories" and scenes. If anything there is a lot of bullshit happening that makes ZERO sense e.g., woman gets hand "supposedly" stuck between a box of cookies on a shelf and needs the MC to pull her free? Come the fuck on?! why not just make a scene where the MC needs to get past the woman, trips over something and rams his groin into her ass. I would believe the whole "she tripped and he fell story" over this shit. There are several bullshit scenes like this one which are just poor planning and writing.
5. Some bugs like phone scene skips through without the player normally progressing to next scene, so reading it is tricky.
6. Another bug with relationship setting, that needs to be rechecked as there is some issue I noticed while setting the relationships, also the name of Lana and Luna, think there was something there, kinda confusing, maybe just make their names totally different for confusion sake?
7. No real lewd scenes or any kinks right now so can't review it really.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

• To the dev, I would suggest really sit and flesh out your story and dialogue between characters well before getting into the development and visuals. Your story and scenes are often littered with bullshit try hard moments that are nonsense. The flow, story, interactions with characters are just unnatural and its very stark and obvious. You need to be much more subtle. Sometimes you don't need to be, but that would be with maybe one character in the story that doesn't mince word and just takes what they want or acts over the top. For that to work you still need to set the stage and develop your characters and their personalities else you kinda throw the player off with these over the top random moments.
• I am not hating the game/VN and considering this is the first release, I would say its not too bad, however if you want to make a decent first impression, I suggest revise this before carrying on. Here is a fair bit of work to be done if you measure it to some the games/VN's out there.