Hi. I like the beginning, it's classic but beautifully classic. The only thing is, I would advise the author to make the development smoother, but not slower—just slightly change the tactics of how events are presented. Also, I think the texting with Naomi, who was with the MC's girlfriend at the bar, could use more intrigue.
For example: Naomi, being drunk, sends two photos right away, but the second one 2 seconds later. The second photo should be so blurred that you can only make out silhouettes, color shades, and understand the scene from context. This will create the feeling that a drunk girl was taking the photo. Naomi writes: "oops sorryyy... the scond pic - that's not me... no, I mean... actualy I'm the one taking it... was tryna take it..." I'm also writing a script for my own visual novel (might release soon), but I like this genre, so I'm giving it a 5, hope you'll continue.
For example: Naomi, being drunk, sends two photos right away, but the second one 2 seconds later. The second photo should be so blurred that you can only make out silhouettes, color shades, and understand the scene from context. This will create the feeling that a drunk girl was taking the photo. Naomi writes: "oops sorryyy... the scond pic - that's not me... no, I mean... actualy I'm the one taking it... was tryna take it..." I'm also writing a script for my own visual novel (might release soon), but I like this genre, so I'm giving it a 5, hope you'll continue.