Oh boy, where do I even start with Simple Days? You’re a 19-year-old virgin who’s never even pecked a girl on the cheek. Parents pop off to visit Granny—boom, house to yourself. First afternoon? You’re already creampie-ing your buddy’s girlfriend’s friend. No awkward first kiss, no fumbling—just straight to the Creampie Olympics. Day two: stumble into an escort who instantly falls for your zero-game charm. Day three: random friend’s sister decides you’re prime baby-daddy material and hops on for a quick insemination. Day four? Rinse, lather, repeat. In this universe, chastity belts are for losers and consent forms are optional plot devices.
The pacing isn’t just fast; it’s warp-speed ridiculous, turning what could’ve been a slow-burn awkward-self-discovery tale into a conveyor belt of “surprise sex” scenes that feel less earned than a microwaved burrito.
And here’s the kicker—if the story’s this cartoonishly over-the-top, you’d hope the rest compensates. Spoiler: it doesn’t.
Don’t get me wrong—if you’re hunting a sad, speedy fap with zero emotional investment, it’ll scratch that itch. The art’s “not bad” in forgiving light (shoutout to the few decent animations), and the content volume’s there—if you grind like your life depends on it. But for actual entertainment? Those glowing 5-star raves below? Treat ’em like fool’s gold.
Save your time (and tissues) for something with a pulse.
The pacing isn’t just fast; it’s warp-speed ridiculous, turning what could’ve been a slow-burn awkward-self-discovery tale into a conveyor belt of “surprise sex” scenes that feel less earned than a microwaved burrito.
And here’s the kicker—if the story’s this cartoonishly over-the-top, you’d hope the rest compensates. Spoiler: it doesn’t.
- Graphics? Grainy and distant—like peeking through a foggy 2005 webcam. Backgrounds scream “stock photo filler.”
- Dialogue? The Engrish is so thick you could spread it on toast. Not charmingly broken—just broken.
- Decision system? Binary “bang or bail” choices with zero real consequences. No branching, just trial-and-error busywork to unlock the next “surprise pregnancy” drop (because knocking up half the cast is apparently the dev’s love language).
Don’t get me wrong—if you’re hunting a sad, speedy fap with zero emotional investment, it’ll scratch that itch. The art’s “not bad” in forgiving light (shoutout to the few decent animations), and the content volume’s there—if you grind like your life depends on it. But for actual entertainment? Those glowing 5-star raves below? Treat ’em like fool’s gold.
Save your time (and tissues) for something with a pulse.