"Tired of crappy, low effort hentai games? Then enter the Subverse – an old school PC gaming experience developed from the ground up for the discerning adult by a team of filthy apex perverts. "
This is the first description of Subverse on both Steam and GoG. A bold promise from Studio FOW that if you pay them 30 bucks, they will give you a premium quality gaming experience interlaced with the hardcore smut you can expect from the team of degenerates who once made a movie about NieR: Automata's 2B getting sodomized by a giant robot dog with an industrial power drill for a dick. Well after playing the latest update at the time of writing this review (v0.4.0), I can testify to you all that Studio FOW has yet to deliver on their promise.
Subverse is not an enjoyable game. Hell, it’s not even a particularly enjoyable porn game. It's a haphazard Frankenstein of various mechanics that struggles to harmonize into a satisfying gameplay loop at every turn, hitched to a poorly executed campaign narrative that’s heavily reliant on juvenile cringe comedy and drawn-out exposition dumps. So allow me to offer a rebuttal to each of FOW's marketing points.
1.) "Throw down in either SHMUP-style space missions dripping with retro nostalgia or take the thinking man’s approach and duke it out on the ground with dynamic turn-based combat. Mastering both modes will lead to glorious booty so you can upgrade your ship and troops. "
While the SHMUP style space combat is serviceable, it's no Ikaruga, and quickly becomes monotonous thanks to both the lack of enemy variety combined with static asteroid environments copy and pasted across every side mission. As for the so-called dynamic turn-based combat? I've seen a lot of comparisons to X-COM, but this is more like the worst parts of the crusade battles in Pathfinder: WotR where the only worthwhile way to win is to blitz the enemy with ranged units and pray for the best. But since a majority of your mantic units are melee based, that isn't even a viable option. So expect to see a lot of party wipes unless you cheat with a trainer.
2.) "The Mary Celeste not only holds the record for fastest sub-light delivery of weed in the galaxy but she’s also your base of operations. Visit your various stations like Engineering, the Hangar and the Locker room to upgrade your forces, or relax in leisure spots like the Bar and your Quarters."
By virtue of still being in early access, many of your ship's features are inaccessible. But the features that are present feel tacked on and not fully thought out. Like how the locker room is just a glorified waifu stat checker which should honestly just be a tab in the pause menu for the sake of convenience. Or how the bar area is primarily a joint where you can increase a waifu's devotion level by showering her in gifts Dragon Age Origin style, which is pointless since you consistently gain way more devotion by grinding side missions. There's also a photo mode in the bar if you're into that sort of thing. But for me, the novelty wore out fast.
3.) "There are no good girls in Subverse. Well, not until you train them, anyway. These are the baddest babes in the galaxy complete with exceptional combat potential and drop-dead gorgeous looks. Earn their loyalty and get some other exceptional benefits in the process. Like sex. "
Here it is, Subverse’s biggest selling point, and they still screw this up by locking all of it behind an arbitrary grind wall. Unlike the BioWare-esque RPGs Studio FOW was inspired by where you romance companions by engaging in well-written dialogue while progressing their respective quest lines, you unlock H-scenes in Subverse by grinding “Pooter Points” to spend in a gallery viewer accessible in your cabin. But by virtue of being looped animations with very little interactivity, these H-scenes have no story context beyond the attached thumbnail description. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of these clips are indeed hot, especially if you’ve enjoyed the myriad of monster sex that is heavily featured in Studio FOW’s previous works. But the sheer number of hoops you have to jump through just to see DEMI go down on you for five seconds just isn’t worth it. Even more so when its not even tied to the story progression of the campaign.
Do yourself a favor. Show your memory space some mercy and don't bother downloading this game. And for the love of Slaanesh, DO NOT BUY IT EITHER! It's gonna take a No Man's Sky level overhaul to make Subverse worth your time, and with the way things have been progressing since its release, I wouldn't get my hopes up.