[vo.1]
What a huge disappointment this is.
I'll get the good points out of the way first. Voice acting is great. The girls are nice eye candy. That's about it.
The gameplay is bordering on "good" but it lacks depth. The ship combat is fun for a while, but there is no sense of progression. All missions play out pretty much the same way. The upgrades for the fighter ship are pitiful. It increases basic facets like damage, shield, energy by 5%... which is not even noticeable. We can only upgrade the first pip of each upgrade line, but if the continuation of these upgrades are limited to higher % of the same thing, that is incredibly dull. The secondary weapon for the ship changes based on who you take with you, but that is the only customization that really affects how the ship fights play out.
The ground tactical combat is pretty much the same. It is almost good, but severely lacks depth or meaning customization. There are no equipment, There are no skill trees. You can unlock new monsters, but they all come with preset skills and passives that just get stronger as they gain lvls. The wasted potential is huge when these monsters are established as genetic amalgations of various beasts/aliens. You would think there would be a game mechanic that lets you breed/engineer/fuse these monsters to create something to your liking. The battlefield lacks any sort of terrain effects or cover mechanics. This lack of depth results in gameplay that starts out pretty fun, but gets old incredibly quickly.
The "story" is pretty laughable. The tone of the game is that of a porn parody that constantly breaks the fourth wall. It relies heavily on meta humor and crude vulgarities to get it's laughs. I mean, it did make is chuckle a few times, but these are cheap laughs. Because the game takes itself entirely as a joke, it's pretty hard to get invested in the plot they are trying to deliver. Each planet you visit adds nothing to the plot. There is a short paragraph of meme filled joke about the planet and you either do a ship or ground combat. There is not a single choice to be made, whether it be in conversations with girls or in relation to the plot.
The "porn" aspect of this game is ultimately what brings it all the way down. What a ridiculously stupid system they devised. First of all, the scenes are literally 3 second loops. The gold border scenes are glorified flash animations with a speed slider and cum button. Their idea was to have a bunch of these short animations and let us "create" our own scenes by mixing 5 of them. It's fucking retarded. You get no sense of a coherent scene by doing this. You just watch a bunch of animation loops that may or may not lead into each other. None of the scenes have dialogue of any kind, written or voiced. It's entirely unfappable. The nail in the coffin is that this entire system for dishing out sex scenes called "Pandora" is sequestered away from the plot progression. It lacks any set up or context. It seems meaningless and it really is. I played the entire game without even going back to Pandora until the end.
I mean holy shit. I can't believe this is what they came up with after raising literally millions of dollars. The gameplay of this game might be above par when considering that it's a porn game. Unfortunately, the game absolutely fails on the porn aspect. Thus, we are left with just a mediocre game that we probably wouldn't bother playing if it didn't have naked chicks.
What a huge disappointment this is.
I'll get the good points out of the way first. Voice acting is great. The girls are nice eye candy. That's about it.
The gameplay is bordering on "good" but it lacks depth. The ship combat is fun for a while, but there is no sense of progression. All missions play out pretty much the same way. The upgrades for the fighter ship are pitiful. It increases basic facets like damage, shield, energy by 5%... which is not even noticeable. We can only upgrade the first pip of each upgrade line, but if the continuation of these upgrades are limited to higher % of the same thing, that is incredibly dull. The secondary weapon for the ship changes based on who you take with you, but that is the only customization that really affects how the ship fights play out.
The ground tactical combat is pretty much the same. It is almost good, but severely lacks depth or meaning customization. There are no equipment, There are no skill trees. You can unlock new monsters, but they all come with preset skills and passives that just get stronger as they gain lvls. The wasted potential is huge when these monsters are established as genetic amalgations of various beasts/aliens. You would think there would be a game mechanic that lets you breed/engineer/fuse these monsters to create something to your liking. The battlefield lacks any sort of terrain effects or cover mechanics. This lack of depth results in gameplay that starts out pretty fun, but gets old incredibly quickly.
The "story" is pretty laughable. The tone of the game is that of a porn parody that constantly breaks the fourth wall. It relies heavily on meta humor and crude vulgarities to get it's laughs. I mean, it did make is chuckle a few times, but these are cheap laughs. Because the game takes itself entirely as a joke, it's pretty hard to get invested in the plot they are trying to deliver. Each planet you visit adds nothing to the plot. There is a short paragraph of meme filled joke about the planet and you either do a ship or ground combat. There is not a single choice to be made, whether it be in conversations with girls or in relation to the plot.
The "porn" aspect of this game is ultimately what brings it all the way down. What a ridiculously stupid system they devised. First of all, the scenes are literally 3 second loops. The gold border scenes are glorified flash animations with a speed slider and cum button. Their idea was to have a bunch of these short animations and let us "create" our own scenes by mixing 5 of them. It's fucking retarded. You get no sense of a coherent scene by doing this. You just watch a bunch of animation loops that may or may not lead into each other. None of the scenes have dialogue of any kind, written or voiced. It's entirely unfappable. The nail in the coffin is that this entire system for dishing out sex scenes called "Pandora" is sequestered away from the plot progression. It lacks any set up or context. It seems meaningless and it really is. I played the entire game without even going back to Pandora until the end.
I mean holy shit. I can't believe this is what they came up with after raising literally millions of dollars. The gameplay of this game might be above par when considering that it's a porn game. Unfortunately, the game absolutely fails on the porn aspect. Thus, we are left with just a mediocre game that we probably wouldn't bother playing if it didn't have naked chicks.