Overall, I think this isn’t a bad start, even though it’s short, but it’s not particularly great either. There are several aspects that could be improved to enhance the overall experience.
The dialogue seems to jump around at times, and in some instances, it doesn’t quite make sense. For example, Edith enters the apartment saying she has a job for the MC (with some authority) and proceeds to explain what has happened. After the MC accepts, she turns around and asks, "Why are you helping me?" This doesn’t feel consistent. She starts off speaking with authority or, at the very least, like someone who knows what they want. Then, she questions her own motives, which doesn’t make much sense in the context.
The only thing worse than unnecessary internal dialogue is narrative text that doesn’t add value. When the renders are done correctly, they should visually represent the dialogue without needing additional explanation. Another issue that will quickly become annoying is the screen shake after every other line of dialogue. I get that it’s meant to represent intensity in the character’s speech or actions, but it quickly becomes redundant and distracting. I would recommend removing this feature.
The renders themselves are not bad, but some of the facial expressions don’t align with the dialogue. This can create a disconnect between what’s being said and the emotions being conveyed visually.
Overall, I would recommend waiting until further development is completed before downloading this game. There’s potential here, but it needs refinement.
