Ren'Py The Awakening [v0.4.4a] [SLim Games]

[Reese286]

A nice beginning, I like it. Will be interesting to see where the story goes from here. One question tho, why would he knock on his own front door? Right, he would not knock, he would enter, his sister already knows him and its his home. Its simple things like that, that kill immersion. And I gotta agree it's a small home, definitely not above average.

 

[SLim_Games]

Ok, so first of all thanks for all the feedback. the good and bad ones. you need both to make something better.
I see that some people see some unlogical things in the game and I have to agree that some things are not making lots of sense or feel weird which can lead to breaking the immersion...

The beginning feels too agressive. Seems kinda unrealistic that the first thing you would do after waking up out of a Coma is to stare at the Tits of a Nurse. I expected "Where am I?", "Am I dead?","What happened?", "Who are you?".
I would be interested what happened to my Family/Friends etc before I flirt with the first Girl I get to see ...after 2 Years in Coma.

Also I doubt you could just stand up instantly after 2 Years in a Coma.

The best Games are the Games where something develops slowly. Too many Games let you put your Characters dick in a Mouth or other whole within the first 10 minutes which kinda ruins it.

It has to be somewhat believable and realistic.

But the Quality of the Images and the Text seems pretty good, I like proper interpunctuation or I hate it when people just dont use it at all.

Thank you for pointing that out. After looking at it again I see it the same way. The problem I have is that I want to get to the sex-action so fast that I forget to keep the story interesting and logical.. So I really have to work on it to make this better..

A nice beginning, I like it. Will be interesting to see where the story goes from here. One question tho, why would he knock on his own front door? Right, he would not knock, he would enter, his sister already knows him and its his home. Its simple things like that, that kill immersion. And I gotta agree it's a small home, definitely not above average.

Once again I forgot to properly explain what happened... The mom went off with the car to do some shopping and she forgot to give you her key.. yeah.. sorry.

Sooo... I'm really happy that many of you like the renders and nimations... I wanna be honest with you. I'm a really bloody beginner with daz3d, renpy and all that stuff.. and I think you can see that the renders improve every picture . (The first couple of scenes I didnt know how to light a room properly, so I made up the excuse the light was turned off :coldsweat. But I'm not quiete happy yet. So expect better renders.

I also want to point out that one review by hopeless pointed out that the file managing is very poor and that I did a bad job at keeping the files small.. and he is absolutely correct... I'm working on it right now to make animations into webm files to make the game a lot smaller.

one last thing: the chapter is called "The Gift" but it never really got to a point that it would explain why this chapter has this name. Yes, I messed up again. I cut the story a bit to short.

What comes now?:

I will fix the plot holes. I will make the game smaller. I will add a little more content so the chapter is properly complete. I think it will take about 1-2 weeks. (I caught the flu couple of days ago so I might be in bed a bit longer)

ok thats it... thank you very much to all of you for testing my first game update I read every post so keep em coming

 

[Carmen Sandiego]

There will also be incest in the later versions.. but I'm not sure how to handle it since patreon is banning incest :/
anyway. thx for accepting my game request :>

Just don't talk about it on patreon. If you're familiar with the old US policy "don't ask, don't tell" treat it like that. If for some reason you need to discuss something about characters, don't say brother/sister/mother say the character names and keep it moving. Don't mention anything about incest at all. Let players figure out the relationships between characters.

 

[SLim_Games]

Just don't talk about it on patreon. If you're familiar with the old US policy "don't ask, don't tell" treat it like that. If for some reason you need to discuss something about characters, don't say brother/sister/mother say the character names and keep it moving. Don't mention anything about incest at all. Let players figure out the relationships between characters.

thanks, no I haven't heard of that policy, that's funny :coldsweat:. I thought about step-mom step-sis but I don't think patreon will be satisfied with that... I saw dreams of desire handlet it with landlord and roommate, but on my game it would feel weird that your landlord comes to pick you up from a coma... hmhmhm.. I have to think about a solution. okerFace:

 

[mariaeliza]

thanks, no I haven't heard of that policy, that's funny :coldsweat:. I thought about step-mom step-sis but I don't think patreon will be satisfied with that... I saw dreams of desire handlet it with landlord and roommate, but on my game it would feel weird that your landlord comes to pick you up from a coma... hmhmhm.. I have to think about a solution. okerFace:

Sorry mate but that ain't gnna work...Patreon wrote a really big statement about incest which include not only direct family (mother/sis/son/dad/daughter) but also 2nd level family (aunt, cousin too I believe) and also family by law (step-mom/sis...).
I advice you to follow the hints already given. Don't ask don't tell, use chars names and not relations.....

 

[KiGa]

thanks, no I haven't heard of that policy, that's funny :coldsweat:. I thought about step-mom step-sis but I don't think patreon will be satisfied with that... I saw dreams of desire handlet it with landlord and roommate, but on my game it would feel weird that your landlord comes to pick you up from a coma... hmhmhm.. I have to think about a solution. okerFace:

No, DoD (Dreams of Desire) works perfectly with the Lewd-Patch (no landlady bs). See here:

You must be registered to see the links

I recommend you to do the same...

 

[SLim_Games]

Sorry mate but that ain't gnna work...Patreon wrote a really big statement about incest which include not only direct family (mother/sis/son/dad/daughter) but also 2nd level family (aunt, cousin too I believe) and also family by law (step-mom/sis...).
I advice you to follow the hints already given. Don't ask don't tell, use chars names and not relations.....

alright, thanks for making this clear.. really sucks, that when you finally start creating your game and suddenly this stupid rule out of nowhere fucks you up :3

 

[hypnouser]

Looks interesting. Is the corruption going to be something similar like in CORRUPTION, from MR.C ?

I mean, you corrupt the girls and they follow your orders without questioning them.

 

[SLim_Games]

Looks interesting. Is the corruption going to be something similar like in CORRUPTION, from MR.C ?

I mean, you corrupt the girls and they follow your orders without questioning them.

I have not played corruption sorry... and I don't want to spoil too much, but you got the right idea. in chapter II it will be exlpained better in what direction the game is headed.

 

[hypnouser]

I have not played corruption sorry... and I don't want to spoil too much, but you got the right idea. in chapter II it will be exlpained better in what direction the game is headed.

Then I think I will end up liking this game. It is like a subtle kind type of mind controll. They still keep their normal self, but they common sense is somewhat "overwritten".

 

[Penfold Mole]

... but on my game it would feel weird that your landlord comes to pick you up from a coma... hmhmhm.. I have to think about a solution. okerFace:

You really shouldn't crack your brain over something that seems a little weird while the whole Patreon policy about considering sex between non-related people an incest is weirder by an order of magnitude :biggrin:

 

[Deepthroatme]

I thought the Constitution and the Bill of Rights gave you the right to free Speech isn't patreon breaking both of these by banning you from mentioning incest

 

[Penfold Mole]

Patreon isn't a government institution, you know.

 

[Deepthroatme]

Patreon isn't a government institution, you know.

Does that mean it can ignore the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Company's in the UK can't ignore the Law

 

[Reese286]

I thought the Constitution and the Bill of Rights gave you the right to free Speech isn't patreon breaking both of these by banning you from mentioning incest

People often don't understand 'Free Speech' rights and imagine that 'right' is universal, it is not. Free Speech rights apply in political speech against Government not private speech with corporate entities or businesses. Government cannot stop you from speaking, but your Private Employer can, so can a private company providing a service like Twitter, YouTube or Patreon.

A lot of this miss-understanding is deliberate and media driven - Look at the NFL 'take a knee' protests for example; Watching the game on TV or the News you hear all these references to Rights and 'Free Speech' but the fact is those players have no Constitutional right to protest or say what they like on the job and neither do you. The Media gives them political cover by shouting 'Free Speech' giving the players a mantle of fake morality and phony virtue where none exists. Those players have no right to take a knee or protest on Company time....none at all. The NFL can allow it but they could just as easily ban the practice and fine, suspend or fire any Player who engages in it. The truth is, you have no 'Free Speech' right at work in the Corporate or Private world _ so be careful, because you cannot say whatever you like. I don't know where these myths about 'Rights' in the USA start but they can and do catch people out all the time and create real problems by giving people a sense of power they just don't have. Another example would be the myth you don't have to get out of your car if a Cop tells you to... you Do have to get out and if you don't, expect to get arrested and spend the night in jail. If you resist, expect much worse than that. Unfortunately the UK has no Free Speech anymore, just Government approved speech... the 'Hate Speech' laws have seen to that.

 

[mariaeliza]

alright, thanks for making this clear.. really sucks, that when you finally start creating your game and suddenly this stupid rule out of nowhere fucks you up :3

Well i'm not sure on this but i guess you can use patreon just as a sponsership, excluding all characters interaction and have your own website, even if it's shitty just for your deploys...

 

[Aiden]

Quick question, will it have romance ( with real love ) or just mind control/corruption ? ( im a fan a romance )

 

[Rhialto]

I like the play through so far. Yes, like many, I thought him being able to get up out of bed and move around was unrealistic. But who knows what the purple beam did to him. It could have made it so that his muscles didn't atrophy while in a coma. The whole huge penis thing is a bit tiring, sometimes it is nice to have a story where the MC isn't hung like a horse. I absolutely loved the car driving off scene with the animation. Really thought that was well done. As for him knocking on the door, I found it believable as he doesn't remember the sister or really the mom yet. He accepts it quickly that she is his mom but at the same time the memories are not active so I could see him knocking on the door. However your explanation of it being that you forgot to mention she did not give keys gives it another credibility within.

As for the whole patreon thing concerning incest, many have given the great idea of using a patch to change it from what patreon would permit to being what you really mean. It is a good path to take but extra work for you. Others do the Do not Ask, Do not Tell thing, which is a military designed path of thought back in the day when being of non-hetero desire was wrong. I do not think it would work with patreon since they are so adamant about not permitting sexual deviance of incestual nature. Personally, I find it deplorable that any site that makes money from creators would inhibit their artistical design. To me they are only biting themselves in the ass and losing money because of it.

I look forward to the growth of your story, to the wonderful work with the visual aspect of the game and want to thank you for stepping up and creating a vision that you have for all of us to enjoy.

 

[SLim_Games]

Quick question, will it have romance ( with real love ) or just mind control/corruption ? ( im a fan a romance )

if you really want to know

Spoiler: small story spoiler

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I like the play through so far. Yes, like many, I thought him being able to get up out of bed and move around was unrealistic. But who knows what the purple beam did to him. It could have made it so that his muscles didn't atrophy while in a coma. The whole huge penis thing is a bit tiring, sometimes it is nice to have a story where the MC isn't hung like a horse. I absolutely loved the car driving off scene with the animation. Really thought that was well done. As for him knocking on the door, I found it believable as he doesn't remember the sister or really the mom yet. He accepts it quickly that she is his mom but at the same time the memories are not active so I could see him knocking on the door. However your explanation of it being that you forgot to mention she did not give keys gives it another credibility within.

As for the whole patreon thing concerning incest, many have given the great idea of using a patch to change it from what patreon would permit to being what you really mean. It is a good path to take but extra work for you. Others do the Do not Ask, Do not Tell thing, which is a military designed path of thought back in the day when being of non-hetero desire was wrong. I do not think it would work with patreon since they are so adamant about not permitting sexual deviance of incestual nature. Personally, I find it deplorable that any site that makes money from creators would inhibit their artistical design. To me they are only biting themselves in the ass and losing money because of it.

I look forward to the growth of your story, to the wonderful work with the visual aspect of the game and want to thank you for stepping up and creating a vision that you have for all of us to enjoy.

I'm currently fixing this getting up and move around thing .

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and you made a good guess with the purple beam .
the penis might be a bit too big I thought so too. the default penis size in daz3d was 30% bigger so I thought it would be enough. But I really saw that the penis was too big when I couldn't really get the nurse's hand around his dick.
but I made so many renders before I realised (and they take a long time, cause my gtx960 is not a fast card) so I went with it.
as for the incest patch. yes I'm going to do the extra work definetly. I just hope I won't fuck things up in the story and that everything will make sense..
and thanks for the honest feedback :FeelsGoodMan:

 

[Aiden]

if you really want to know

Spoiler: small story spoiler

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Alright glad to know that romance is still a thing thanks