If the dev goes back through and re-writes the story and dialog, maybe this could become something worth playing. Not something with any actual depth, but still, something.
As it stands, it is a mess.
Between spelling mistakes and grammar errors, it feels and reads like it was written by a 10 year old who failed English. I understand that English is likely the devs second language, and I know I certainly can not speak or write in other languages, so I'm sorry for being harsh, but the spelling is a mess, and there is no punctuation. It feels like no effort was put into it.
I'm sorry, but to be blunt, putting the original text through google translate and plopping that into the game would likely have given a more readable result.
Outside of that, the writing makes no sense. Scenes jump around in ways that feel like non-sequitors. Stuff just happens. And the story as given is inconsistent, in ways that seem minor but still just feel bizarre, and experiencing it makes you feel as if barely any thought has been actually put into the game.
For example, being told there are three things everyone there has in common, and only being told two, without the PC noticing one was left out. The PC waking up and asking the person if this is a dream, to be told "not unless I've been dreaming for 300 years," only that character later says she is 146 or something.
Or a cat girl jumping to climb over a wall, that is 6-8 feet, and the PC exclaiming that she must have jumped 13 feet. Or the PC making a comment about no elves in their world, despite elves have never come up in conversation. The PC was a man, and now isn't, and inexplicable feels that this should be a guarded secret.
It all just feels disjointed and thrown together. What should be said in 5-20 lines of dialog, as an exchange between characters to learn about each other, ask and answer questions, etc, is instead done in a single line, maybe two... and sometimes those back to back lines of dialog feel utterly unrelated to each other.
It feels as though the dev either has given the plot and dialog no thought, or like the dev simply HATES to write and is using the absolute bare minimum word count possible to get across the absolute bare minimum of story and character interaction possible.
I see no way this could be a 5 star game. I do see a way for it to be a 3-4 star game though:
1) hunt through the dialog files and fix simple things, like who is actually talking, what is a thought or out loud, etc.
2) develop a story outline, and make sure, whether deeply complicated or very simple, it is internally consistent
3) expand the dialog, so it feels like ideas are actually getting communicated, instead of truncating dialog as much as possible.
4) expand dialog a little more, to develop personalities
5) Run the script through google translate, and THEN use your own English knowledge to further edit the results
Even a game that utterly lacks any real complexity or depth can be "decent enough" if it feels like some effort went into it. Story consistency, enough words being written to allow the story to be told, more natural transitioning between scenes or even just subjects of discussion in dialogs, and reading a screen without feeling like you are being assaulted with grammar and spelling issues, is really all this game needs to elevate it to something that is... well, not great, but passable.
As it stands, it is a mess.
Between spelling mistakes and grammar errors, it feels and reads like it was written by a 10 year old who failed English. I understand that English is likely the devs second language, and I know I certainly can not speak or write in other languages, so I'm sorry for being harsh, but the spelling is a mess, and there is no punctuation. It feels like no effort was put into it.
I'm sorry, but to be blunt, putting the original text through google translate and plopping that into the game would likely have given a more readable result.
Outside of that, the writing makes no sense. Scenes jump around in ways that feel like non-sequitors. Stuff just happens. And the story as given is inconsistent, in ways that seem minor but still just feel bizarre, and experiencing it makes you feel as if barely any thought has been actually put into the game.
For example, being told there are three things everyone there has in common, and only being told two, without the PC noticing one was left out. The PC waking up and asking the person if this is a dream, to be told "not unless I've been dreaming for 300 years," only that character later says she is 146 or something.
Or a cat girl jumping to climb over a wall, that is 6-8 feet, and the PC exclaiming that she must have jumped 13 feet. Or the PC making a comment about no elves in their world, despite elves have never come up in conversation. The PC was a man, and now isn't, and inexplicable feels that this should be a guarded secret.
It all just feels disjointed and thrown together. What should be said in 5-20 lines of dialog, as an exchange between characters to learn about each other, ask and answer questions, etc, is instead done in a single line, maybe two... and sometimes those back to back lines of dialog feel utterly unrelated to each other.
It feels as though the dev either has given the plot and dialog no thought, or like the dev simply HATES to write and is using the absolute bare minimum word count possible to get across the absolute bare minimum of story and character interaction possible.
I see no way this could be a 5 star game. I do see a way for it to be a 3-4 star game though:
1) hunt through the dialog files and fix simple things, like who is actually talking, what is a thought or out loud, etc.
2) develop a story outline, and make sure, whether deeply complicated or very simple, it is internally consistent
3) expand the dialog, so it feels like ideas are actually getting communicated, instead of truncating dialog as much as possible.
4) expand dialog a little more, to develop personalities
5) Run the script through google translate, and THEN use your own English knowledge to further edit the results
Even a game that utterly lacks any real complexity or depth can be "decent enough" if it feels like some effort went into it. Story consistency, enough words being written to allow the story to be told, more natural transitioning between scenes or even just subjects of discussion in dialogs, and reading a screen without feeling like you are being assaulted with grammar and spelling issues, is really all this game needs to elevate it to something that is... well, not great, but passable.