HTML - Abandoned - The Freshman Year [v0.1] [SpiritShade279]

Excelent story and gifs. I understand this is an early build. So here are the things which can be improved to make it even better (when completed):
1. Make progress smoother. 2. Fix timeline. Some events are before others with no logic between them. As if interacting with different chars is playing different games. 3. Fix "check self" to properly show different "stages" 4. Fix University classes - I was able to visit them only once. After that it disappeared. 5. Nothing happens in the bar alley.. ever. 6. Make sure you cannot have sex before you even agreed to handjobs. There are many inconsistencies about char progress stages. 7. Roomate gives blojobs regardless of the chastity cage. 8. Clothes are very limited 9. Paperdoll color is white as a dead man. 10. pink dildo is not used anywhere. 11. Phone story can be easily missed. 12. Upcomming events are hard to track. Maybe notification system could help. 13. Different paths can be introduced: Sissy, Shemale, Male->Female, etc. 14. More places to visit would bring more variety. Good luck to the maker!

V0.07b review

"Show don't tell."

There's a reason why this is one of the most important rules of writing, in fact it's often called the golden rule of writing. See the twine format HTML games are one of the most enjoyable for me personally because I like reading a story that you interact with. Twine lets authors and creators weave a story for the user and give them the ability to make choices.
Sadly with a lot of the nsfw twine stories, the creator misses the inherent advantage of this format and forgets about the most critical part of the medium, the story.

v0.07b of the freshman year has a few aspects that really are going for it. The graphics are pretty and crisp and the navigation bar from the bedroom iswell laid out. But for every good thing about this game, there's more bad, and that's on top of the bad that already exists.

Getting back to the story, it's very flat and uninspired. The character is given absolutely no depth, no sense of anything, they're literally just a male freshman who moved in with 2 girls. The end. Even if your intent is to enjoy a sissification story (which this game is, despite the fact that's not really made clear from the tags nor preview images) it's a lot harder to care about the journey from a blank slate to a female blank slate. Further the characters that you meet are one dimensional characters and really lacking in almost any sense of a realistic human motivation or attitude.

For example, almost immediately in the game you're treated to one of the female roommates getting fucked in the living room, and so of course you jerk off watching it. Her response is to blow up at you and treat you like you're a piece of shit and how could you do this? The only option you have to agree that you're going to be femininzed by her or get kicked out (and game over btw with a... ahem... 'bad end'). But hold on a second, wasn't this slut just getting fucked right out in the open, in the living room, of an apartment with 2 roommates, one of which she JUST met that morning? Obviously she's got some blame in this situation here. But there's no arguing that or standing up for yourself, or it's game over, bad end.

Which is the other problem with the game. The illusion of making a choice when there is absolutely none. The story is, as far as I could stand to play it, 100% on rails. Oh certainly there are multiple clubs, but you really only choose one. So why waste our time with all the other stuff? It doesn't add to the story at all.

Finally this brings me back to the "show don't tell" thing. We have characters calling the MC a faggot, girly, etc, and they can apparently see something in this blank slate that the player is never shown. Don't TELL us that he's an effeminite loser. SHOW us why he is, make us understand him at least a little bit, because obviously all the other NPCs in the game can see it.

I didn't want to give this 1 star because the writing, while terrible and with the occasional typo or misused phrase or wording, was passable for a porn game. Also as far as I played I didn't notice any bugs, though there were some weird formatting issues. But honestly, this game is a bit of mess at the moment, and could really use with some narrative restructuring. Still fans of the genre might enjoy it, just don't go into it expecting too much.

the game is so fucking good the story and the quest all of them are good
the girls and the guys (in park and...) really nice
the bar is good and promising with the uni and especially the phone story
it was oddly satisfying and mysterious i really like to see were this game is going and i am sure to have good time playing it .

Another "protagonist sissification story", delivered as if it was a game.
Review as of v. 0.07

Writing: 3/5
The writing is decent, without any glaring typos or grammatical errors, but all the characters seem two dimensional and without any real personality.

Story: 1/5
The story so far:
MC wants to be manly and get laid with girls. All the MC's dreams are about being a woman or sucking cock, for no apparent reason. MC gobbles loads of cock at the park to make rent. Girls want MC to be a sissy and hints at sexual favors in return. MC turns sissy for blowjobs.
The story is all over the place... The MC has no idea why he's doing what he's doing, and the player has no choice because there's only one way to make the story progress.

Choices: 0/5
So far, this game has two types; "no choice choices", where you either get the same same scene in both choices or a gameover, and "opt out choices" where you decide if you want to see the scene or not.
So far, only two choices seems like they might lead to different content, but as of now they do not.
This is pretty much a kinetic novel trying to hide the fact it's a kinetic novel.

Images: 3/5
If you have played any other twine game with the "real porn" tag, you know what you are in for... a lot of pictures, gif's and vids ripped from random free porn sites, with very little consideration for consistency, and with no apparent attempt to avoid watermarks.

All in all 1.75/5