[ as of version 0.0.7 ]
as an off-roader, i learnt the more you prepare your rig to face the mud, the less reliable it behaves on asphalt. it's quite hard to get both universes in the same vehicle.
when playing (or reading) “The Outong,” i had the impression the developer tried somehow to turn a novel into a game, and has so far (unfortunately) failed on both.
don’t get me wrong: “The Outong” has the right elements to become a good novel; nonetheless, it needs a deep overhauling — as for example:
• rewrite the entire text eliminating the overbearing redundancies (too many unnecessary explanations);
• in that sense, rewrite all dialogues in order to make them more natural;
• since it’s a visual novel, improve the graphics’ quality;
• give it a more cinematic timing by eliminating the overuse of the ellipsis and fade to black;
• [a bit of a spoiler] Alice seems to suffer from Impostor Syndrome; even so, her guilt is a tad too exaggerated;
• and so forth.
the story itself is quite solid, though, hence it would be really nice to see “The Outong” turn into a great novel or game. or both.
good luck with your project, Gon D. Eser; i wish you the best.
as an off-roader, i learnt the more you prepare your rig to face the mud, the less reliable it behaves on asphalt. it's quite hard to get both universes in the same vehicle.
when playing (or reading) “The Outong,” i had the impression the developer tried somehow to turn a novel into a game, and has so far (unfortunately) failed on both.
don’t get me wrong: “The Outong” has the right elements to become a good novel; nonetheless, it needs a deep overhauling — as for example:
• rewrite the entire text eliminating the overbearing redundancies (too many unnecessary explanations);
• in that sense, rewrite all dialogues in order to make them more natural;
• since it’s a visual novel, improve the graphics’ quality;
• give it a more cinematic timing by eliminating the overuse of the ellipsis and fade to black;
• [a bit of a spoiler] Alice seems to suffer from Impostor Syndrome; even so, her guilt is a tad too exaggerated;
• and so forth.
the story itself is quite solid, though, hence it would be really nice to see “The Outong” turn into a great novel or game. or both.
good luck with your project, Gon D. Eser; i wish you the best.
