VN - Ren'Py - The Perfect Paradise [Ch.2] [Celestial Novel]

Ch.2

Story starts as "drinking coffee and talking nothing", but turns out to be... some weird shit. Writing was so bad that I could not read to keep up.

You could say that there are three styles for average AVN MC:
A. MC gets panic attack when he does see women accidentally show their goods.
B. MC is normal man who does get exited about sexy women. Maybe even show his feelings.
C. MC likes to night rape and wank while spying women.
This game has the "panic attack MC". But good thing is that every women lusts over him, as he is the dream guy everyone wants. Even if he has no brains to talk to doctor about his schizophrenia. Regular AVN where the writing does try to spoon feed readers to think that MC is a perfect hero, so much that it makes MC look like a mental case.

Visually game is good enough. Copy-paste women from other games we have already played. Writing and story were just so bad that these mediocre visuals are not enough alone. I don´t think this can be saved.

VERSION: CH1 / CHP2 Re-review
SUMMARY: Despite having the premise and features and potential for a decent VN, this is an inconsistent mess on so many levels, music, renders etc.
RATINGS: (out of 5):

NOTE: The following categories and scoring method are my own criteria and may require more context. Additionally, scoring is based on the state, and what is in the current version and not what may or may not be.

1. Model Visuals........................... : ⭐⭐
2. General Visuals......................... : ⭐⭐
3. Animation Quality....................... : ⭐⭐
4. Character (Persona)..................... : ⭐⭐⭐
5. Story Quality & Pacing.................. : ⭐⭐⭐
6. Writing Quality & Dialogue.............. : ⭐⭐
7. UI & Game-play Mechanics................ : ⭐⭐⭐
8. Playtime & General Quality.............. : ⭐⭐⭐
9. Sounds & Music...........................: ⭐⭐
10. H-Content & Fetishes.................... : ⭐⭐⭐

Average: 25 of 50 possible points giving a 50% rating i.e. 2-3 stars.

PROS:

1. Decent music, adds the atmosphere which is good.
2. Writing is not horrible, structured and reads well enough.
3. Story is...OK? Semi interesting,
4. SOME! LIs, look pretty nice, voluptuous and sexy, too bad same can't be said for the brick shit house MC or some other characters.

CONS:

1. Music loops are not fluent, start suddenly again, small gripe but its a detail.
2. MC looks way too bulky and weirdly built, hulky, hunched over, like a mutation gone a bit far. His face is also strange, like a baby face, his mouth is tiny his colouring is very pale. Is he a dead body builder?
3. Overly large font for text and not being able to adjust it...
4. I have some issues with script and plot holes and the way things are phrased, its not the way a person would naturally speak, at least in English. See comments.
5. No other sounds save for the music, no ambient, doors opening, wind, cars, thunder or other sounds. Lewd sounds also seem to have been forgotton.
6. Ages of characters are a bit questionable...like MC mother looking like she is 35 at most
7. Not being able name the MC is a bit of a let down.
8. SOME! Animations are a nice idea and kudos for doing them, but like with most of the visuals they just not great quality renders...e.g. the fight scene at start with gangster, its not bad, really, but the gangster looks like a fat dude and he is short, go back to the normal render and he dropped 40pounds...
9. Still on Animations, you see Rebecca's tits in the pool scene, WTF! Is the wind blowing them around, the animation loop is so jagged and spastic that you needs a mouth bit for the seizure she is having not a grope! This is still not fixed since Ch.1...

FINAL REMARKS, OPINIONS & SUGGESTIONS:

NOTE: The following remarks are my personal opinions and thoughts, which may provide more context and could be useful to the developer.

• Added to MC look, he has a small mouth and his features look actually rather bad. For context, look at the MC picture next to his dad, the MC looks like buff zombie and his dad looks warm, natural and actually looks good. Can't we have him be the MC and the current MC be dead? The MC's body actually out of proportion in some renders. His neck and shoulders are actually really bulky compared to the rest of his ripped body. Even in some places his pants sit so badly around his ass...yes its noticeable, his waist, ass to pants proportions are not right...He also has such a broad chest and shoulders and his middle is so narrow that he actually looks like a character from some eastern anime. His face looks pudgy, I think its due to his lips which I mentioned before, if he had a beard it would offset this. Is he suppose to look that way, is that the style the dev is going for? Its honestly not attractive or good looking IMO. END OF MC LOOK GRIPE
• May sound like a nitpick but for immersion I am not fond of poor choice in words like "outcropping of a larger mental illness" is bad where "symptom of a larger mental illness" is correct. Some proof reading would be nice...
• Per above point, the MC has had "Red" present since he could remember, so we can assume, he remembers from 3yo? Ok, so somehow this 3yo, according to doctors was struck with severe grief and exhaustion? So this manifested "Red" the MCs other personality, his mental state? How do you diagnose a 3yo with that? So here again, a nitpick but again if you want the player to relate and immerse into your world you created, don't bullshit or create inconsistencies that dont adhere to sound logic. Also if "Red" has always been with the MC, why are we lead to believe "Red" grew to be a normal part of Aiden, if he was always part of Aiden, then its Aidens norm and why would he question that? Sorry, maybe a little deep...but NWAY!
• Apart from many obvious things that are just not good with this VN, there is the glaring inconsistency, I mean some renders look decent, the MC looks better, then his pale ass looks horrible in others, his tiny mouth and small head in relation to his neck shoulders...then some characters look like ghosts, like grey people. There are no complexions, the characters look like wax statues, then some renders on some look decent, shit even the same one could look good. Ultimately it all feels rushed, cheap and unpolished, very unpolished...
• Much of this games premise is just bad, I look at the MC who is "dealing with" some inner struggle about being "pervert" I am sure that ANY straight warm blooded male would have an reaction to attractive woman, yet this MC acts like a monk who treats it as an affliction and his alter egos influence. THATS BULLSHIT and bad writing, its natural to be a horny dog, especially when you younger and have less impulse control, doesn't make you bad, evil and if anything the MC would be weird for not getting worked up sexually, yet the dev treats it here like something bad or curse...such stupid writing.
• Speaking of alter ego, the way this AVN is written, its hard to even understand if RED is the MCs alter ego or an entity in its own right attached to the MC somehow. Too many inconsistencies, like alter ego would likely know what the MC is thinking as they the same, especially when both are "present" and "active" Its not like RED takes over the MCs body. So what is RED? Who knows with this mess, but ffs pick one dev.

TLDR:

I feel this kind of VN is a dime a dozen and anything goes these days, standards have dropped, ideas are not always bad, but the way they are gone about and strung together, this game feels cheap, the ideas and some implementations are good but it does so much just so poorly that its too apparent and obvious to overlook or ignore, this game just does not feel very quality orientated, it has all the hall marks needed for a good game, it just does too much poorly.

This game is definitely off to a good start. It falls into the "MC is a chad" category, and I’m all for it. While it's still early in development, the story already feels like it has some real thought behind it—but it’s a bit too soon to make any big judgments.

The characters are generally well-done, and what I love most is the ability to shape the MC’s personality. You can gradually steer him toward his darker, more ruthless "Red" side, or guide him to be a more kind and grounded version of himself. I’m a big fan of games that let you explore these kinds of branching personality paths—especially when they fully commit to them.

If I had to nitpick something, it would be the animation during the bully fight scene. It felt a little underwhelming; You could most likely make it look better with just 20-30 renders.. Still, I respect the dev for putting the effort in doing animations.

All in all, a great start with tons of potential. I really hope the dev(s) can see this through—it could turn into something special.

i like it.

however i must say this is one of those games you kinda have to play the prequel, because whiplash from the twist at the end of the first chapter is ENORMOUS if you don't expect it
it was too much imo

CHARACTERS:

Mc is original, you play as a chad, stoic marcus aurelius type, he takes himself TOO serious for my liking but i'll take that over anything generic

mom is just a mom character, you know the type "ohh i'm too old but also have a model's body, you must not like it".

sis, is the sister character that is too unrealistic because she is just "so innocent" despite being old enough for college. worse because she has a fertility goddess body so the boys in highschool must have been drooling over her.

gf is gf character, nothing of note

gf's sister is a minx, a temptress that wants you as soon as she saw you, so far i like the direction with her

gf's friend madison, i quite like, she fancies you but doesn't do it in an aggressive way

teacher is hot, but we don't know nothing yet

Gf's mom however is the crowning jewel, at least for me, it is said that her bloodline is the key to saving the human race that immediately makes me want to put a baby in her. and i will keep tabs on this game for her mostly

finally i have to address Red, i do not like him, i found his existence dumb and unnecesary. he is mc's imaginary friend (he is not called that but he is kinda like that), his precences and words makes the Mc an Edge lord, and i do not like that direction. get rid of him please.

all in all, decent game, nice areola peeks too.

Great first update, introduces lots of characters without it seeming like a "high and bye" of some first updates, the core women are all very hot.

I've always liked protagonists with a voices in their head, often makes for interesting dynamics and the MC would have been too dry without Red, the scene with those scenes with Rebecca where hot.

Would have liked to see more focus with the mom and sis.

One worry is that the game may take itself too seriously going forward, there's a big overarching plot introduced, I didn't find it boring but its not the main reason anyone's here, it lacked any sexuality. I hope the game avoids that trope of sex games that have some sci-fi or mafia plot that goes on for huge chunks and takes us away from what we enjoy.

Here's hoping there's a better mesh of sex and overarching plot so instead of, you need to do some backroom deal with some generic gangsters or you need to do hit man, it should be you need to seduce and bang your girlfriends mom to fix the time line and you need to slap your sisters face with your cock to prevent Skynet from taking over.