VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - The Power of Asses [v0.03] [SDLP]

Translation aside, the novel titters from absurd to nonsense in the time it portrays the story. There's no choice and is a straight up slideshow between a whore and her children. She's stuck up on sexual pleasure and demands nothing else other than a 'good dick' so much so that she leaves the man who was interested in her for a boss who wants to just use her. She immediately shows interest in her son's friend and wants to fuck both of them - just because of their dick size. The son is a pervert who negs his sister and gropes her when given the chance.
I get suspension of disbelief, but the lack of subtlety in the story completely marrs any interest. I could've spared all the time and held down control and skipped to the few sex scenes there are.

To the dev and author, I say this from a place of love. I am an aspiring storyteller too, so trust me when I say this - you can do much better than this.

The game looks nice so far. The models are cool. More renders are needed during conversations to give more dialogue flow to the game.
The dialogue is fun to read and has a nice atmosphere that made me want to keep going.
Dialogue is much improved from the demo.
If I were to offer some constructive criticism, um...add more humor, I don't know. That said, keep doing what you're doing here because I enjoyed every second of it.

A 4 might be a bit much.
But 3 is too low. 3/12

Pretty bad.
Cliched NTR set up, weird elf looking teenagers, bad character renders that are compounded by not being full scene renders but layered on top of the background. This can be done well but it is not here and all of the perspective and posing is off.
Cliched, absurd porn can be fun and arousing, it is not here

Pretty good demo so far, but can definitely be better.

Good:
- The models are attractive, but this is a personal preference. Someone else may not find them attractive, so I won't comment too much about it. Point is, the creator promised big asses, and he delivered on that promise beginning with the demo so that's good to see.
- It's straight to the point. No beating around the bush, no grinding etc. On one hand, while there isn't much story (MC confesses to her crush at work, but then messes up her job so now has to put up with her perverted boss. Her crush has a small dick, etc etc, the usual NTR premises).

Points for improvement:
- I know I said it's nice that the game gets to the point, and there's no grind, but it would be better if there was at least some story and/or build up. The MC could also get into sexy situations without involving blackmail (e.g. drunken trysts, meeting an old fling from her college days, etc).
- So far, there are no choices. You cannot choose to stop the old boss from groping the MC, you cannot choose to turn down sex with the crush etc. Since this is a demo, I'm hoping there will be more choices and routes in the future.
- The NTR is a little weak in this case because the "boyfriend" or crush in this case, is someone that the MC literally just asked out on a date, so while I guess she will be cheating on him in the future, it's not quite on par with your usual NTR yet since they're not committed.
- Language. Right now, the English translation is pretty bad, since the creator originally wrote the script in Spanish. Not their fault, but this aspect might improve once they get someone on board to translate it to different languages.


Overall, definitely a good start, great demo with curvy female characters and a promising background, but whether or not it turns out to be a great game will depend greatly on the choices and routes provided along the way.