VN - Unity - Abandoned - The Spellbook [v0.20.0.0] [NaughtyGames]

I keep wondering how the same people who're able to make a game look generally slick and polished on the surface then turn out to be completely unable to write dialogue or create even a half way decent story. Has rendering and programming become so easy, that 13 year olds can do it? That would explain, why the text has the style and quality of a lame tweet or YT comment. I mean, I'm willing to look past a lot of things to look at some nice xxx renders. I don't expect Shakespeare or an epic story. Not at all. But if I have to cringe at every single line I read, it kills my mood.

Now, you *can* make a interesting story about a spellbook, sure. But when the main plot device hits you straight in the face, before any characters have been established, you know you have a stinker on your hands. The way the titular Spellbook finds its way into the hands of the protagonist - that alone is so dumb and lazy and ridiculous... I immediately lost all interest. And as I clicked through the next couple of scenes, it became obvious that this was mostly just the same story beats we have read a hundred times before.

If you can't write, that's fine. It's not a crime and you don't need to be ashamed of it. You have other talents. But then, don't make a story-driven game. Or, at least, find someone who can write at least adequately and cooperate with them. I wonder, why not more people are doing that, anyway. Pool your abilities. The most successful developers I know are not single people, but small teams. It's incredibly rare for people to be able to do everything themselves.

P.S.: And just a tip for any new game developer. Don't insert yourself / your "studio" into your game. Especially not your first one. Don't do it. Don't namedrop your "studio" and talk about upvoting it. Just don't. It's not funny. It's not clever. It's lame as hell. And completely unprofessional. And I wouldn't be so harsh, if I didn't know that you have a patreon, where you ask for money. If this was just a non-profit project, I wouldn't be so critical. But if you seriously expect people to support you financially, you have to seriously step up your game.

I don't care for the game. Some of the renders are beautiful but feel very familiar. I played the love route, but then I find out he has a girlfriend and wants to do it to her too and it also seems like he wants to do it to his sister/roommate, who really doesn't need to be corrupted. She's a sloot and owns it. In this case, the spell isn't about corruption, it's about manipulation and control. The love path doesn't deserve to be called a love path.

He just comes off as a jealous, whiney bitch. My problem is that all of the young boys come off as whiney little bitches. The punk kid is just a jack-ass, wanting to take credit for things he didn't do. I just don't like any of the men/boys in this story. Personally, the MC deserves to be cucked and bitch-slapped by big cock while he watches his family get fucked by better men.

Sadly, your choices right now are whiney little bitches and fat, creepy, old men, so even the NTR route is not that enjoyable. There's obviously a market for it given the high number of creepy, fat, ugly, old men getting gorgeous women games on this board; it's just not my thing. There are very few games where I hated the MC more than when I was playing this game. Game deleted. I'm just not the target audience.

HMM the game isn't bad its just done badly the spell book instantly makes your mom or landlady a whore there isn't any workup to it and apparently you have the worst friends on the planet cause they seem to have no problem with getting not fucking her something i personal don't like is how you make the decisions for her they should just happen if you chose the wrong or right answers before hand but would i say that it has good NTR nope to me NTR is basically someone who is in a relationship or it is implied that they will be in one soon in this there is none of that she just sucks your friends off without building up a relationship just because she can be your mom or whatever you want her to be with no backstory nothing happening between you before hand i dont understand why the tag is on here

Review for 0.2.0.3

The story isn't believable you sleep with your Mother? AKA Babysitter AKA Landlady that looks to be the about the same age as you just taller and in the same room your 2 mates also sleep there one on the tiled Floors and one in a sitting position on a chair WTF unless you're passed out drunk who sleeps like this - NTR is avoidable just use the walkthrough don't know if it will stay that way forever with a warning like

"If you are one of those Anti-NTR guys, then just dont play it!
(there is a love route but some can't stand the existence of NTR so better skip) "

Anyway it has a couple nice scenes I experienced a repeating freeze bug the only thing that got me out of them was to do a little skip (CTRL key)

I loved this game so much I actually played it 3 times and going to do it again right now!
I can't explain properly what makes me love this game so much but it's the exquisite graphics and good story telling, as I do love it's main genre, the way it's animated it drives me crazy.
Graphics 5/5
Characters 5/5
Content 2/5
Story 5/5
NEED MOAR CONTENT
(It's not very linear as you do have a few routes, but the main ones are love and ntr)

It's easy to criticize major aspects of the game. Obviously the story telling could be better, much better.
The female protagonist belongs to the category "fugly" as soon as her face is involved.

But as far as I know the dev is a newbie. And taking this into account: we've seen much worse (I have a list of more than 60 titles I've tried and rated them bad enough to never ever try them again).

And I see quite some potential. The graphics are not that bad in the beginning (even then: good poses) and improves later.
The sex material is above average! Nice surprise

And it seems the straight forward plot is created intentionally. Not what I prefer, but can be good sometimes. And some players even prefer it that way.

So, for me the most important thing for improvement are the dialogues.
Obviously the plot is a similar one to Dreams of Desire, but as an extremely lightweight version.
So, since the story arc isn't suitable to surprise/impress players (no chance to even come close to DoD), the dialogues have to become more entertaining.
I saw a good line every now and then, but also skipped a lot of generic texts.

What always works wonders: funny scenes (I mean, clever humor). Maybe devs takes a look into Dreaming of Dana for some examples of situation comedy.

The harder way: upgrade the story plot to something more epic.
But that would be a drastically change to the existing game ... I don't recommend doing this, at least not with this game, maybe for the next one.

All in all: an so-so average game, but I think it's likely dev will become more experienced and improves his writing (of arc and dialogues).

- Why does the MC need a baby sister, who looks the same age as MC?
- Switching from 1st person to 3rd person in the narration
- Oh look a magical book!
- No back story between MC and the baby sister (or what ever she is suppose to be)

While i consider this just a demo due to how short it is. But the corruption is done perfectly from seeing chapter 1.
Its a rare genre, and it is done very well in this.

Hope chapter 2 holds up as well as the first. looking forward to future updates.

I really liked this game , good story i find interesting the mother and son's friend adventure the characters is really good mother' body is perfect .
Finally something different
I hope to see ep 2 very soon

[Rev Ep1Fixed]
The writing is good in the scenario planning. The moment-to-moment voice is very weak and comes off as a rough draft written on an iPhone on somebody's lunch break.

Characters are archetypes more than individuals. The Nerd, The Perv, The Son.

Art's on the downslope towards the uncanny valley, but passable.

Nothing squicked me because not much of import happened.

TLDR: eh. I'll check it out if I see a bunch of posts crowing that it's better now.

Abysmal writing and rather unimpressive renders equals very poorly made game. And when I say "abysmal" I do not use the word lightly. Dialogue in this thing is one of the worst I've ever seen, which is to say something, if you take into consideration how many badly written "games" you can find on this site. You're better off reading the Jab comic. Complete waste of time.

For 0.1

Good renders but the "story" is very lame, plus alot of the dialogues feel like they were written by a 13 yo. Only one female so far, very good looking body but her face gives you nightmares. Also sausage fest for this release; if you like 3xEric, go for it.

My Rating of Ep1 is:

Pros:
-Nice Renders
-Great Story
-Decent Game Play
-Hot Milf
-Hot Dialog

Cons:
None

Loved the Game,not too much teasing going on here that gets you frustrated.
Great FAB Material
Lots of Potential here.
Looking forward to more updates.

I really liked the story, and the visuals, the pictures and the details of the characters are excellent!! It seems like a lot of work has been done for this game , looking forward to the second episode!!!