English:............8/10
User Interface:.....4/10
User Experience:....7/10
Art:................7/10
Dialogue:...........2/10
Story:..............2/10
Opinion:............1/10................
Avg:.............4.43/10 [2.21/5]
I tried this once before. My few memories of it are "Why is this called unexpected consequences when nothing happens?" "This really needs to be converted to webm/p to cut down on space" and "This is yet another milquetoast boring story where MC walks room to room and is rewarded with sex because pron game." It's a paint-by-numbers collection of assets flipped into a porn game nothing, that I barely remember. Every scene generally should make you go "are you serious with this?" The UI has a minorly edited textbox, default everything else. The cringey walk cycles in the main menu do you no favors. This also does the "I'm possibly a character from the game introducing the game to you like an actor" another trope that bugs me. You'll notice this intro paragraph is pretty lean, especially for me, there's not a lot to say about this and I kinda just wanna be able to say "I reviewed it, don't need to look at it again." The only other thing I kinda remember is that the poses look like they're breaking bones a lot of the time, can't wait for that.
Anyways, the game opens to MC saying Jamie is getting married. Apparently, Jamie's MC's roommate and she had to move out, so she posted an ad for MC to get a new roommate. Okay, cool. Setting up a new relationship, establishing that MC is a little troubled by it. Not terrible. But, immediately, you're greeted by the worlds jankiest vertical pan of a video ever? It jitters, no one moves, and could have been handled by an imagepan in-engine.(I will say, retroactively, it was that renpy was struggling playing the vids) Then, they follow it up with another one. Why? And there's this false urgency with the girls in that "only one can have the room" but you immediately learn there's two spare rooms and it was all a lie. So, a waste of time. Cool. This also does the thing where all the characters are pointed at the camera, as if they're talking to MC, but even while talking to each other. It feels weird and they could have saved space further by using sprites. But whatever. Then, MC calls Jamie to thank her, she'll, obviously, be a love interest later, and instead of trying to expand upon their relationship by showing their conversation, you get "They talked for a while until the doorbell rang." Great, already skipping relationship building. We then see our first choice "Flirt or be normal" This is obviously a harem game, so I'll take a wild guess and say "pick all the flirty options" is the answer every time. Then, if you call her down to eat, you get another "You made small talk" blurb. SKIPPING MORE RELATIONSHIP BUILDING. The ENTIRE point of this game is to get with varying women. When their only traits are "they're nice and have a different DAZ model" it's boring. There's no conflict, there's no drama, just what flavor of woman do you want to say yes to. If you needed any more confirmation, Alice, the worlds most naive human, immediately walks around the house naked "because she forgot" while MC just stands there staring at her, slack-jawed. Don't worry, she appreciates the compliment. And don't forget, right after that they play video games, skip more relationship building, and MC gets a boner when she hugs him because he has no fine motor controls. Awesome.
Later that day, Mia finally moves in. Another thing I wanna point out is everyone's so nice and pleasant, like one of those uncanny 50's sitcoms. Everyone might as well have one of those giant fake-toothed smiles, it's weird. Alice almost already does. Then you get the "choice" to talk to alice, mia, and then go to work. Do you know what these "thrilling" conversations entail? "Hey [INSERT NAME HERE] just wanted to check on you before I go to work" and BOTH OF THEM reply with "Oh, thanks MC, I'm okay see you when you get back!" THAT WAS NOTHING. I'm starting to see why they're skipping the dialogue, because it sucks. His job, of course, is a personal trainer,(receptionist?) I guess. (I wanna take a second to interject and say I turned on the performance monitor and see that the game chugs during the videos, so renpy is struggling, maybe the videos aren't choppy, I'll never know.) Anywho, we meet Becca, MC's boss who clearly enjoys him ogling her, she says "Why didn't you and Jamie get together, you had feeling for each other" something we, the player, didn't know. But this is a porn game of course everyone wants each other. Then we finally get to meet Jamie. And their conversation? "Congrats on getting engaged, I'll see you later!" SERIOUSLY? When she arrives, because it just cuts to when she shows up, Alice and Jamie are posed in a way no human has ever stood before. To whoever sells these poses, I seriously want them to try to stand in the way the models do, and tell me how much muscle strain they feel, my god. And, of course, Jamie's fiance couldn't make it, which means he's an asshole. Because no human male that isn't MC in an AVN can be anything but a rapist, cheater, liar, or evildoer.
Next, we learn a GIANT lore dump of information in the first ACTUAL conversation in the game. Jamie and MC grew up together, she has a sister that is also "like a sister" to MC, he pretty much abandoned her when she was in an accident, and he's the hero of this story? Okay. Then Alice is from a small town and wanted to distance herself from her dad after her mom died because... reasons? She just said "he's different," so in his grief, his daughter leaves too? Great. Then Mia: "I moved here with my boyfriend and we broke up so now I'm here." Wow. These characters are amazing. And notice how Jamie had no characterization or background. She's literally just MC's tie to his formative years. "They played pranks on each other" is the only tiny bit of anything you get out of her. But, really, they just gotta play it off as if she's not gonna be a love interest for a moment so MC can "save" her later on from a comically evil fiance. You also get some more surface-level questions about the girls. Why Alice went into game design and why Mia is in the music program. I will concede and say "it's pretty early and they're just getting to know each other." But the break-neck speed at which everything unfolds, this should have gotten deeper, but it never does. Also I want to point out how horrific Jamie's smile is here. At the line "Hey, you jerk,..." her disturbing chiclet teeth and surgically raised nasty cheekbones make her and her oompa loompa skin off-putting.
They then go to a club and MC has sex with a stranger that is also a lesbian. Because we have to point out that every female is either a virgin or never had sex with another male before. God forbid a human being have real-world experiences before meeting you. And don't worry, MC tells Alice and Mia, in detail, what he was doing. This whole "drugged" thing comes up later, if I remember rightly, and they were drugged by some sex drug that makes this story into a MAFIA STORY. Hooray! This was getting too original... Back to the "plot..." Alice, of course, screams out that she's a virgin and would hate to have had her first time there. And Mia says the same sentiment about Alice and mc "You're actually attractive, I'm surprised you haven't done it more." Which, if you look at MC, he looks like Sid from Toy Story, he is not attractive. Inferring that Mia has had experience, I don't remember if she has, but we'll get there. And I'm remembering that Kat, the sister that MC abandoned was the person he had sex with. The day passes with two different blackscreens with a time skip. One where MC goes to work and nothing happens, the next when he shows Alice around town, and instead of interacting with her to get better acquainted, its a black screen that says "you showed her around town it was fun." Yikes. Enter Sakura. The japanese girl with pink hair that plays keyboard in Mia's band. I shouldn't have to get into how tropey, at best, that character is. Wow. After that they go to play pool, I'm honestly shocked they didn't use this to say Alice is good at geometry because game design. Nope, she just played it a lot. I also want to point out that Mia's boobs have been shrunk down so much that her clothes no longer make sense. Her bra straps and forced cleavage physically don't make sense, it's kinda funny. And the day finally ends with two more time skips of "You ate dinner an got close. And you watched a movie and got closer."
The night is then punctuated by MC having a dream/memory of his parents talking about the aforementioned mafia. I want to say that the dream is cheapened by the fact that his parents died only 3 years ago, so it's not like this is some kid stumbling on his parents investigating a crime syndicate. More a 17(?) year old hearing his parents talking about a car crash his girlfriend was involved in. It's odd and a little cheap, so it doesn't help the story, what little there is, at all. He even wakes up and somehow, out of the kindness of their hearts, the girls wake up to comfort MC about his sad dream. This does that "terms and conditions" type romance. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I want you to be as comfortable as possible at all times because we are all frail and unique and special." As if they're all reading from a teleprompter. They also do this faux psycho-analysis of his dream and what it all means as if YOU, the reader, couldn't infer all of that having seen ANY MOVIE EVER. The "Wow, that's so nice. Everything is nice. Thank you for complimenting me I return the same to you" dialogue just continues forever. Even moreso when you learn Jamie's parents are rich and they have a private beach and yacht on the water. There's even the cringey "this scenery's not as beautiful as you two." If the fruit was hanging any lower, it'd be under ground. And they even downplay the wealth saying "They're not rich, they're just insanely wealthy." Like "We don't like to draw attention to wealth disparity please don't mention it." It's dumb. ONLY FOR THE GAME TO SKIP OVER THEM INTERACTING AGAIN. Wow, they really just don't want to write two characters getting to know each other. It's punctuated, AGAIN, by a dream. Only this time, it's a sex dream because MC hasn't had sex with anyone yet and we need to shove sex in here, somewhere. And, since MC has no bodily control, during his dream where he's having sex with one of the two girls he's currently with, he shouts out that he's having sex with them in his sleep. This also triggers him to have a date with the chosen girl the next day. He's known them for three days and has already had random sex in a bathroom with someone. Why are they about to go on a date? No matter who you choose, the other looks sad you didn't pick her, by the way.
When they get home they repeat that they're so happy to have found this place to live and that you're so nice, and the other girl is so nice, and the food smells nice, and all this crap that has already been 90% of the dialogue so far. IT'S MIND NUMBING. Are you serious with this? WE GET IT. Everything is lollipos and rainbows my god. The next day, the other girl, that you didn't choose in the dream, asks MC out anyway. It's so weird. Neither of these girls know anything about MC other than he abandoned his long time friend when she needed the support. Had random sex in a club toilet their first night out. And dreamt about vulgar sex with both of them their second time out together. What about him screams "Yeah, lets date" can you tell me?? MC even tells the other girl, in graphic detail, what he was doing with both of them in the sex dream. This idiot has no social awareness, it'd be concerning if he was real. All of the dialogue sounds like they're talking to gradeschoolers "Did you have fun with your friends today?" "Oh yes! we played at the beach and it was great!" Then Jamie appears and they reveal that they're all going on dates. But instead of saying "it's just like a first date" they act like they're already planning to be a throuple or something. No planning was done, they all just agreed to date because everything is a commercial from the 50s? I chose Mia first because... Eh, I don't know, I just chose her. Her and Alice are completely interchangeable so it doesn't really matter. But her sob story is her parents are devout catholics that didn't care about her for no discernable reason, so she sought escape through music. They were mad she joined highschool jazz? That's the only thing that remotely explains why they didn't care for her. I don't know. And MC's story to her? "Oh you know the yacht I showed you yesterday, well this was on a different yacht, everyone got sick and I drove it home" Wow. That told us so much about you. the only thing you get out of it is he doesn't like caviar. So humble, so amazing... Then MC gets sex on the first date because these are caricatures, not people. And the sex animation? Lol, I'll just say that.
I'll say here, at the Kat reunion, she's the only really visually appealing character. Alice almost comes close, but everyone else has something just odd about their character model. Mind you, Kat has a missing leg and she's the only one that doesn't look like a case of body dysmorphia. But the fucking dialogue here is a JOKE. "Yes I am glad you are back in my life and I loved and still love you. Nothing we did together was a regret and I'm happy you stayed away, not because you didn't like me but because you blamed yourself." That was paraphrasing, yes. But it's actually MORE verbose and on the nose than that IN THE GAME, it's kinda sad. "I want to be honest with you, I still love you but I'm dating two other girls who I already love very much" WHAT. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? When did they "love" each other? I am all for being transparent and maybe even having the "maybe you can date me too" bullshit, but at no point was love discussed. They've known each other for FOUR DAYS. When they get to MC's place they continue reiterating the apology and how happy they are to be talking again. Please. End me. This is absurd. And when Alice and Mia show up to meet Kat? THEY TALK ABOUT IT ALL AGAIN!?! Why? We've heard it three times now, come on. They even unceremoniously have Kat interject with "Do you guys mind if I date MC too?" Absolutely zero chill. Then they start to address the Brad issue. If I remember right, Brad is some nefarious guy that wants to savor in Jamie being a virgin? It's some stupid thing like that and he's even tied to the syndicate somehow, to loosely tie the "...plot" to him. Either way, as soon as MC "saves" her, they sleep together, to spoil it early. They continue to drone on and on about how nice everything is and how positive their world is, until they finally doll-up Alice for the date. Only to continue the veggietales tier dialogue complimenting each other. It's so babyish, it actively makes me laugh in frustration.
When they FINALLY get to the date after complimenting each other for 20 minutes, MC TAKES ALICE TO THE SAME PLACE. What. Even the host is like "you waiting for your date from last night?" And Alice is like "nah it's me lol." Which further backs up my statement about Mia and Alice being completely intercahangeable. Even the beats are the same, hold hands, ask about her, and all that. The only thing that would kill me with laughter is if he told the same story about the yacht. No, instead he tells a story about Jamie, because MC is an uninteresting nothingburger. So much so that Mia and Alice's date are exactly the same, to the point he even touches them the same way. Alice even says "I'm not ready to go further" the game cuts to their home, and she takes off her clothes saying she's ready to go all the way.... WHAT?! The next day, Alice is at work, dressed like a slutty maid(?) has a guy get handsy with her, we'll come back to him soon don't worry, then she wants to have sex with MC because of it, right away. TWO sentences ago she was a virgin that wasn't ready for sex. So much has happened... And the sex scene, my god it's so weird. She positions herself in a weird way I've never seen before and it's so robotic. When they return from the stall sex, the "Alex" that MC has been searching for just happens to be the daughter of Alice's new boss. And the guy that was groping her is a member of the Syndicate that killed MC's parents and attacked Kat for no known reason. WERE YOU READY FOR THAT LORE DUMP CAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS?! Honestly, if MC stops "the syndicate" himself I will sigh so hard my lungs will pop out. And if you doubt me on this, Kara, the old friend of MC's parents, tells him about her top secret task force. HELLO? NOT MUCH OF A SECRET. They TRY to waive it away saying "they're too involved" but MC knew nothing of this and alice was just groped by some weirdo. They do not need to know this.
AND GUESS WHAT! HE TAKES KAT ON THE SAME. FUCKING. DATE. The next day. I wish I could laugh at this. MC is a receptionist at a small yoga studio that can't afford the house he lives in. Where is he getting the money for 3 high class dinners in a row? There's also the little line Kat throws in "I think I'm starting to develop feelings for the other girls too." HOW? MC has known them for 5 days, maybe. She's met them twice. How in the universe has she developed anything more than enjoying their company in the 4 hours of knowing them? I also want to say, IT'S AFFECT NOT EFFECT. It's been bugging me the whole game. Every time, they use the wrong word. But oh man, I was proven wrong, instead of a walk in the park, a walk in a park next to water. This guy is full of surprises. Even the sex is the same. The next day, they meet with Alex to learn, yes, Brad is involved. They were trying to keep them virgins to rape them because...? Question mark? Jamie's rich parents were rich, I guess.(To get back at MC's dad?) Then. "Finally." The Jamie sex scene. It's at this point I have to ask, was this dialogue written by AI? "Thank you, I enjoy it when you compliment my body" doesn't sound like a pent up 20something having sex for the first time. That sounds like a robot's predefined response to a compliment. When they finally have Elizabeth added to the story, they go through the whole "MC is dating all of us" bullshit some more and it makes me want to rub my eyes until they fall out. Every time they meet a new character, they summarize the story so far to the new character. We don't need to hear that. Not every time. Maybe a character reacts to things or says something to another character, but not a full story synopsis every time. And now that you notice that, I hope it bugs you.
When Chapter 2 rolls around, they literally skip past all the relationship building with a slideshow that says "You got closer to everyone, it was fun, you really shoulda been there! But you weren't because fuck you." According to the game, they skipped over a MONTH. Two of the girls now have morning sickness, if you chose that, and nothing has really changed. You then meet Violet, the undercover agent that shouldn't be meeting with anyone. But nothing in this has been planned well, so what would you expect. She then tells you her ENTIRE backstory. Because, instead of just telling them what she has to report, you need context on her childhood hopes and dreams for some reason? You learn that this story has a legitimate "evil twin" story, I honestly can't believe it. Suddenly the uncle MC never knew he had is the leader of the Syndicate. And now, MC is going to infiltrate the syndicate undercover too? Oh! Alex also makes a move on MC because "thinking someone's attractive" is enough to dive into a polyamorous relationship. She's also now his coworker and handling an investigation around him. This is dumb. They've met twice that we know of and absolutely ZERO information other than "she worked with MCs parents" has been given to the player. Don't worry, her slow motion sex scene is in a slightly different position though. Can't have you getting too bored, now can we? Later you finally meet Holly and Andi, the bandmates MC somehow still hasn't met. Remember the lesbian MC had sex with? She's one of them. She also didn't go out to buy the $40 morning after pill after she screwed up because...? That is the first damn thing you should do you absolute moron. It's called the morning after pill for a reason. I'd also like to point out that Holly and Andi look HORRENDOUS. Their faces are contorted into these nightmare creatures and I have no idea why. I'd like to say that this is around the time I quit last time I played, so I'm going into the rest of this blind right now.
I won't lie to you, I'm almost completely mentally checked out by this point. MC and his gaggle of idiots go around town telling anyone they meet about everything they're going through. It's so unbelievably stupid. The only way I can describe this is, it's as if the writer's of Barney the Dinosaur made a porn game. Kat even almost says "I love you, you love me" verbatim. This has to be a joke. I honestly feel bad for the AI that spat this out. I also think I figured out what Jamie looks like. She looks like she got an allergic reaction to a bee stinging her cheeks, perpetually. The sex talk is also a joke. It's all the same, all the women just start autistically screeching as soon as MC looks at them. And when he tweens in and out of them they always scream at the top of their lungs that there is a penis inside them and they need to cum from him ejaculating inside them. That's not even funny, it's cringey. Once, maybe twice, sure, I guess. But every single time it's inferred they yell loud enough for the tri-state area to hear. And most of the sex happens in shitty bathroom stalls, why? If you want public sex go to a park, a pool, a movie theater. But no, we want to have sex in the bathroom? Hot... After that, the conversation for the next 10-20 minutes? Them yelling out lout for any and everyone to hear "MAN! We have so much SEX! It's CRAZY! Can you guys believe how much sex we have?!" Then whoever is around with a name says "Um can you guys keep it down, talking about sex makes my panties wet, I want to have sex with MC now." It's to the point where MC isn't really saying anything, but all 40 of his girlfriends will say "Hey, MC, wasn't that girl hot? You should sleep with her." And you're given a yes/no choice based solely on if you thought that DAZ model was hot. MC's dialogue after the choice is usually "Well, yeah I guess she was beautiful, but I won't make any promises." Then time skip ahead to when his flock of cuckqueans have acted behind the scenes to get the girl to sleep with him. Do you remember when the mafia was after one or more of them? Because even though they tell everyone about it, I don't think they understand it.
The fact they continue to rehash events and tell everyone EXACTLY what happened with XYZ is exhausting. They scheme behind the player to get other girls to sleep with him, so how is it they don't explain situations and get permissions the same way? Or is the writing just padded out by every character telling MC how magnanimous he is for sleeping with every girl ever, after they just recanted every event that happened while that character was not on screen? I'm not even at the "undercover" section and I half expect it to either be a black screen time skip that says it all went well. OR MC walks in, finds a girl, tells them everything that's happened up till that point, she converts from the syndicate and joins the gaggle of morons. WAIT A MINUTE! THEY SAID THE TITLE OF THE GAME! Except... "Consequences" generally denotes a negative connotation. And nothing has been unexpected or negative. After the terrible undercover operation goes awry, probably because they scream the plot to everyone they meet, they have to move to the beach house. You know the one on a California beach with a yacht in the bay? Poor souls. By this point, there was a change in the sex scenes to have buttons that change the camera angle. But it makes the sex scenes feel shorter on top of not noting the change means I didn't see it for quite a while, admittedly. And the ONE line of dialogue you can use it during means if you misclick, you have to rollback to see the other crap angles. Back to the story, the Violet arc is dumb too, MC fucked his cousin and they kiss over it? This ham-fisted incest insert makes the game even dumber than it already was. This just proves that they're trying to appeal to dumb fetishes. And the fact that he's related to the only black girl? Yeah right.
I finally got to Chapter Three and I want it to be over. Kat's getting a bionic leg that looks infinitely worse than the prosthetic before it. A global cabal is about to run a train on the only character MC hasn't met in person yet and I, as a player of the game, don't care. The tie MC has to the story is minimal at best. The villain has had 4 lines of dialogue, and even less of a reason to do all this. The actual overarching story is completely unoriginal. The dialogue makes me want to die. None of the characters have a character to speak of. The one they're TRYING, really hard, to push has some sort of character is MC. All the girls TELL MC about how great he is. They TELL him all the amazing things he's done. You, the player, have seen him do one thing: Get caught trying to sabotage a crime ring. Other than that, he's just shown up. He's done nothing but say empty compliments and have that same dopey ass look the entire time. Which isn't to say the rest of the cast doesn't have a giant smile all the time. "Aunt Liz has been kidnapped to be assaulted until she dies" As they say with giant smiles as if they've been dosed with Joker's laughing gas. They don't care, why should I? And them suddenly adding some weird cyberpunk altered human story on top of it all just shows they had no plans for this. They're just adding stuff to write something. No reason, just trying to tie together the empty sex scenes.
If you have half a brain, you should realize why this is bad. But I'll sum it up anyway to not have to play this again. The English, they constantly use wrong words and there's spelling mistakes, but wherever they got this dialogue from seems English. I don't know if it's AI or not but it reads so robotically that I can confidently say no human had fun writing any of it. The UI is just a few changed images and the UX is untouched, as far as I can tell. The Art is weak. Only two of the girls look appealing and one of them, MC never even gets with. The rest have these weird claymation faces that over-emote and would scare children. The dialogue is as if Barney and Friends or Barbie's Dream House made a porn game. Nothing any of them say feels natural or earned. MC will meet a girl and within 10 minutes they love each other and are having sex. MOST of the dialogue is about how much sex they are having, want to have, or will have. And if not, it's the entire group sitting around a table retelling every event of the story until that point to some new character. None of it is any fun to read. The Story itself is nothing. A global ring of evildoers and human traffickers want to make genetically altered people? Question mark? And MC's dad had a twin brother that was evil and got mad at his brother because he got caught? None of this happened on, or even near, the screen. It's all exposited to you through heavy handed dialogue by a surprise character. The only parts close to MC in any way is they want to rape MC's women and he's mad. Sure, they're awful people. But at no point did I give a shit about these robots. Half the time they're galivanting off to a toilet somewhere to have sex. But I also wanna ask, to the 4 people that get this far in my review, how is this game 2 stars but the other games that are exactly this bad 4 stars instead? Why do the other shit games get a pass? Because the models are prettier? That's the only thing I could possibly think of. Sure, maybe they're not written this vapidly, but not much better. Either way, this game is not good. Anyone that says otherwise has never played a game, read a book, or heard a story before. That's all there is to it.
User Interface:.....4/10
User Experience:....7/10
Art:................7/10
Dialogue:...........2/10
Story:..............2/10
Opinion:............1/10................
Avg:.............4.43/10 [2.21/5]
I tried this once before. My few memories of it are "Why is this called unexpected consequences when nothing happens?" "This really needs to be converted to webm/p to cut down on space" and "This is yet another milquetoast boring story where MC walks room to room and is rewarded with sex because pron game." It's a paint-by-numbers collection of assets flipped into a porn game nothing, that I barely remember. Every scene generally should make you go "are you serious with this?" The UI has a minorly edited textbox, default everything else. The cringey walk cycles in the main menu do you no favors. This also does the "I'm possibly a character from the game introducing the game to you like an actor" another trope that bugs me. You'll notice this intro paragraph is pretty lean, especially for me, there's not a lot to say about this and I kinda just wanna be able to say "I reviewed it, don't need to look at it again." The only other thing I kinda remember is that the poses look like they're breaking bones a lot of the time, can't wait for that.
Anyways, the game opens to MC saying Jamie is getting married. Apparently, Jamie's MC's roommate and she had to move out, so she posted an ad for MC to get a new roommate. Okay, cool. Setting up a new relationship, establishing that MC is a little troubled by it. Not terrible. But, immediately, you're greeted by the worlds jankiest vertical pan of a video ever? It jitters, no one moves, and could have been handled by an imagepan in-engine.(I will say, retroactively, it was that renpy was struggling playing the vids) Then, they follow it up with another one. Why? And there's this false urgency with the girls in that "only one can have the room" but you immediately learn there's two spare rooms and it was all a lie. So, a waste of time. Cool. This also does the thing where all the characters are pointed at the camera, as if they're talking to MC, but even while talking to each other. It feels weird and they could have saved space further by using sprites. But whatever. Then, MC calls Jamie to thank her, she'll, obviously, be a love interest later, and instead of trying to expand upon their relationship by showing their conversation, you get "They talked for a while until the doorbell rang." Great, already skipping relationship building. We then see our first choice "Flirt or be normal" This is obviously a harem game, so I'll take a wild guess and say "pick all the flirty options" is the answer every time. Then, if you call her down to eat, you get another "You made small talk" blurb. SKIPPING MORE RELATIONSHIP BUILDING. The ENTIRE point of this game is to get with varying women. When their only traits are "they're nice and have a different DAZ model" it's boring. There's no conflict, there's no drama, just what flavor of woman do you want to say yes to. If you needed any more confirmation, Alice, the worlds most naive human, immediately walks around the house naked "because she forgot" while MC just stands there staring at her, slack-jawed. Don't worry, she appreciates the compliment. And don't forget, right after that they play video games, skip more relationship building, and MC gets a boner when she hugs him because he has no fine motor controls. Awesome.
Later that day, Mia finally moves in. Another thing I wanna point out is everyone's so nice and pleasant, like one of those uncanny 50's sitcoms. Everyone might as well have one of those giant fake-toothed smiles, it's weird. Alice almost already does. Then you get the "choice" to talk to alice, mia, and then go to work. Do you know what these "thrilling" conversations entail? "Hey [INSERT NAME HERE] just wanted to check on you before I go to work" and BOTH OF THEM reply with "Oh, thanks MC, I'm okay see you when you get back!" THAT WAS NOTHING. I'm starting to see why they're skipping the dialogue, because it sucks. His job, of course, is a personal trainer,(receptionist?) I guess. (I wanna take a second to interject and say I turned on the performance monitor and see that the game chugs during the videos, so renpy is struggling, maybe the videos aren't choppy, I'll never know.) Anywho, we meet Becca, MC's boss who clearly enjoys him ogling her, she says "Why didn't you and Jamie get together, you had feeling for each other" something we, the player, didn't know. But this is a porn game of course everyone wants each other. Then we finally get to meet Jamie. And their conversation? "Congrats on getting engaged, I'll see you later!" SERIOUSLY? When she arrives, because it just cuts to when she shows up, Alice and Jamie are posed in a way no human has ever stood before. To whoever sells these poses, I seriously want them to try to stand in the way the models do, and tell me how much muscle strain they feel, my god. And, of course, Jamie's fiance couldn't make it, which means he's an asshole. Because no human male that isn't MC in an AVN can be anything but a rapist, cheater, liar, or evildoer.
Next, we learn a GIANT lore dump of information in the first ACTUAL conversation in the game. Jamie and MC grew up together, she has a sister that is also "like a sister" to MC, he pretty much abandoned her when she was in an accident, and he's the hero of this story? Okay. Then Alice is from a small town and wanted to distance herself from her dad after her mom died because... reasons? She just said "he's different," so in his grief, his daughter leaves too? Great. Then Mia: "I moved here with my boyfriend and we broke up so now I'm here." Wow. These characters are amazing. And notice how Jamie had no characterization or background. She's literally just MC's tie to his formative years. "They played pranks on each other" is the only tiny bit of anything you get out of her. But, really, they just gotta play it off as if she's not gonna be a love interest for a moment so MC can "save" her later on from a comically evil fiance. You also get some more surface-level questions about the girls. Why Alice went into game design and why Mia is in the music program. I will concede and say "it's pretty early and they're just getting to know each other." But the break-neck speed at which everything unfolds, this should have gotten deeper, but it never does. Also I want to point out how horrific Jamie's smile is here. At the line "Hey, you jerk,..." her disturbing chiclet teeth and surgically raised nasty cheekbones make her and her oompa loompa skin off-putting.
They then go to a club and MC has sex with a stranger that is also a lesbian. Because we have to point out that every female is either a virgin or never had sex with another male before. God forbid a human being have real-world experiences before meeting you. And don't worry, MC tells Alice and Mia, in detail, what he was doing. This whole "drugged" thing comes up later, if I remember rightly, and they were drugged by some sex drug that makes this story into a MAFIA STORY. Hooray! This was getting too original... Back to the "plot..." Alice, of course, screams out that she's a virgin and would hate to have had her first time there. And Mia says the same sentiment about Alice and mc "You're actually attractive, I'm surprised you haven't done it more." Which, if you look at MC, he looks like Sid from Toy Story, he is not attractive. Inferring that Mia has had experience, I don't remember if she has, but we'll get there. And I'm remembering that Kat, the sister that MC abandoned was the person he had sex with. The day passes with two different blackscreens with a time skip. One where MC goes to work and nothing happens, the next when he shows Alice around town, and instead of interacting with her to get better acquainted, its a black screen that says "you showed her around town it was fun." Yikes. Enter Sakura. The japanese girl with pink hair that plays keyboard in Mia's band. I shouldn't have to get into how tropey, at best, that character is. Wow. After that they go to play pool, I'm honestly shocked they didn't use this to say Alice is good at geometry because game design. Nope, she just played it a lot. I also want to point out that Mia's boobs have been shrunk down so much that her clothes no longer make sense. Her bra straps and forced cleavage physically don't make sense, it's kinda funny. And the day finally ends with two more time skips of "You ate dinner an got close. And you watched a movie and got closer."
The night is then punctuated by MC having a dream/memory of his parents talking about the aforementioned mafia. I want to say that the dream is cheapened by the fact that his parents died only 3 years ago, so it's not like this is some kid stumbling on his parents investigating a crime syndicate. More a 17(?) year old hearing his parents talking about a car crash his girlfriend was involved in. It's odd and a little cheap, so it doesn't help the story, what little there is, at all. He even wakes up and somehow, out of the kindness of their hearts, the girls wake up to comfort MC about his sad dream. This does that "terms and conditions" type romance. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to. I want you to be as comfortable as possible at all times because we are all frail and unique and special." As if they're all reading from a teleprompter. They also do this faux psycho-analysis of his dream and what it all means as if YOU, the reader, couldn't infer all of that having seen ANY MOVIE EVER. The "Wow, that's so nice. Everything is nice. Thank you for complimenting me I return the same to you" dialogue just continues forever. Even moreso when you learn Jamie's parents are rich and they have a private beach and yacht on the water. There's even the cringey "this scenery's not as beautiful as you two." If the fruit was hanging any lower, it'd be under ground. And they even downplay the wealth saying "They're not rich, they're just insanely wealthy." Like "We don't like to draw attention to wealth disparity please don't mention it." It's dumb. ONLY FOR THE GAME TO SKIP OVER THEM INTERACTING AGAIN. Wow, they really just don't want to write two characters getting to know each other. It's punctuated, AGAIN, by a dream. Only this time, it's a sex dream because MC hasn't had sex with anyone yet and we need to shove sex in here, somewhere. And, since MC has no bodily control, during his dream where he's having sex with one of the two girls he's currently with, he shouts out that he's having sex with them in his sleep. This also triggers him to have a date with the chosen girl the next day. He's known them for three days and has already had random sex in a bathroom with someone. Why are they about to go on a date? No matter who you choose, the other looks sad you didn't pick her, by the way.
When they get home they repeat that they're so happy to have found this place to live and that you're so nice, and the other girl is so nice, and the food smells nice, and all this crap that has already been 90% of the dialogue so far. IT'S MIND NUMBING. Are you serious with this? WE GET IT. Everything is lollipos and rainbows my god. The next day, the other girl, that you didn't choose in the dream, asks MC out anyway. It's so weird. Neither of these girls know anything about MC other than he abandoned his long time friend when she needed the support. Had random sex in a club toilet their first night out. And dreamt about vulgar sex with both of them their second time out together. What about him screams "Yeah, lets date" can you tell me?? MC even tells the other girl, in graphic detail, what he was doing with both of them in the sex dream. This idiot has no social awareness, it'd be concerning if he was real. All of the dialogue sounds like they're talking to gradeschoolers "Did you have fun with your friends today?" "Oh yes! we played at the beach and it was great!" Then Jamie appears and they reveal that they're all going on dates. But instead of saying "it's just like a first date" they act like they're already planning to be a throuple or something. No planning was done, they all just agreed to date because everything is a commercial from the 50s? I chose Mia first because... Eh, I don't know, I just chose her. Her and Alice are completely interchangeable so it doesn't really matter. But her sob story is her parents are devout catholics that didn't care about her for no discernable reason, so she sought escape through music. They were mad she joined highschool jazz? That's the only thing that remotely explains why they didn't care for her. I don't know. And MC's story to her? "Oh you know the yacht I showed you yesterday, well this was on a different yacht, everyone got sick and I drove it home" Wow. That told us so much about you. the only thing you get out of it is he doesn't like caviar. So humble, so amazing... Then MC gets sex on the first date because these are caricatures, not people. And the sex animation? Lol, I'll just say that.
I'll say here, at the Kat reunion, she's the only really visually appealing character. Alice almost comes close, but everyone else has something just odd about their character model. Mind you, Kat has a missing leg and she's the only one that doesn't look like a case of body dysmorphia. But the fucking dialogue here is a JOKE. "Yes I am glad you are back in my life and I loved and still love you. Nothing we did together was a regret and I'm happy you stayed away, not because you didn't like me but because you blamed yourself." That was paraphrasing, yes. But it's actually MORE verbose and on the nose than that IN THE GAME, it's kinda sad. "I want to be honest with you, I still love you but I'm dating two other girls who I already love very much" WHAT. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? When did they "love" each other? I am all for being transparent and maybe even having the "maybe you can date me too" bullshit, but at no point was love discussed. They've known each other for FOUR DAYS. When they get to MC's place they continue reiterating the apology and how happy they are to be talking again. Please. End me. This is absurd. And when Alice and Mia show up to meet Kat? THEY TALK ABOUT IT ALL AGAIN!?! Why? We've heard it three times now, come on. They even unceremoniously have Kat interject with "Do you guys mind if I date MC too?" Absolutely zero chill. Then they start to address the Brad issue. If I remember right, Brad is some nefarious guy that wants to savor in Jamie being a virgin? It's some stupid thing like that and he's even tied to the syndicate somehow, to loosely tie the "...plot" to him. Either way, as soon as MC "saves" her, they sleep together, to spoil it early. They continue to drone on and on about how nice everything is and how positive their world is, until they finally doll-up Alice for the date. Only to continue the veggietales tier dialogue complimenting each other. It's so babyish, it actively makes me laugh in frustration.
When they FINALLY get to the date after complimenting each other for 20 minutes, MC TAKES ALICE TO THE SAME PLACE. What. Even the host is like "you waiting for your date from last night?" And Alice is like "nah it's me lol." Which further backs up my statement about Mia and Alice being completely intercahangeable. Even the beats are the same, hold hands, ask about her, and all that. The only thing that would kill me with laughter is if he told the same story about the yacht. No, instead he tells a story about Jamie, because MC is an uninteresting nothingburger. So much so that Mia and Alice's date are exactly the same, to the point he even touches them the same way. Alice even says "I'm not ready to go further" the game cuts to their home, and she takes off her clothes saying she's ready to go all the way.... WHAT?! The next day, Alice is at work, dressed like a slutty maid(?) has a guy get handsy with her, we'll come back to him soon don't worry, then she wants to have sex with MC because of it, right away. TWO sentences ago she was a virgin that wasn't ready for sex. So much has happened... And the sex scene, my god it's so weird. She positions herself in a weird way I've never seen before and it's so robotic. When they return from the stall sex, the "Alex" that MC has been searching for just happens to be the daughter of Alice's new boss. And the guy that was groping her is a member of the Syndicate that killed MC's parents and attacked Kat for no known reason. WERE YOU READY FOR THAT LORE DUMP CAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS?! Honestly, if MC stops "the syndicate" himself I will sigh so hard my lungs will pop out. And if you doubt me on this, Kara, the old friend of MC's parents, tells him about her top secret task force. HELLO? NOT MUCH OF A SECRET. They TRY to waive it away saying "they're too involved" but MC knew nothing of this and alice was just groped by some weirdo. They do not need to know this.
AND GUESS WHAT! HE TAKES KAT ON THE SAME. FUCKING. DATE. The next day. I wish I could laugh at this. MC is a receptionist at a small yoga studio that can't afford the house he lives in. Where is he getting the money for 3 high class dinners in a row? There's also the little line Kat throws in "I think I'm starting to develop feelings for the other girls too." HOW? MC has known them for 5 days, maybe. She's met them twice. How in the universe has she developed anything more than enjoying their company in the 4 hours of knowing them? I also want to say, IT'S AFFECT NOT EFFECT. It's been bugging me the whole game. Every time, they use the wrong word. But oh man, I was proven wrong, instead of a walk in the park, a walk in a park next to water. This guy is full of surprises. Even the sex is the same. The next day, they meet with Alex to learn, yes, Brad is involved. They were trying to keep them virgins to rape them because...? Question mark? Jamie's rich parents were rich, I guess.(To get back at MC's dad?) Then. "Finally." The Jamie sex scene. It's at this point I have to ask, was this dialogue written by AI? "Thank you, I enjoy it when you compliment my body" doesn't sound like a pent up 20something having sex for the first time. That sounds like a robot's predefined response to a compliment. When they finally have Elizabeth added to the story, they go through the whole "MC is dating all of us" bullshit some more and it makes me want to rub my eyes until they fall out. Every time they meet a new character, they summarize the story so far to the new character. We don't need to hear that. Not every time. Maybe a character reacts to things or says something to another character, but not a full story synopsis every time. And now that you notice that, I hope it bugs you.
When Chapter 2 rolls around, they literally skip past all the relationship building with a slideshow that says "You got closer to everyone, it was fun, you really shoulda been there! But you weren't because fuck you." According to the game, they skipped over a MONTH. Two of the girls now have morning sickness, if you chose that, and nothing has really changed. You then meet Violet, the undercover agent that shouldn't be meeting with anyone. But nothing in this has been planned well, so what would you expect. She then tells you her ENTIRE backstory. Because, instead of just telling them what she has to report, you need context on her childhood hopes and dreams for some reason? You learn that this story has a legitimate "evil twin" story, I honestly can't believe it. Suddenly the uncle MC never knew he had is the leader of the Syndicate. And now, MC is going to infiltrate the syndicate undercover too? Oh! Alex also makes a move on MC because "thinking someone's attractive" is enough to dive into a polyamorous relationship. She's also now his coworker and handling an investigation around him. This is dumb. They've met twice that we know of and absolutely ZERO information other than "she worked with MCs parents" has been given to the player. Don't worry, her slow motion sex scene is in a slightly different position though. Can't have you getting too bored, now can we? Later you finally meet Holly and Andi, the bandmates MC somehow still hasn't met. Remember the lesbian MC had sex with? She's one of them. She also didn't go out to buy the $40 morning after pill after she screwed up because...? That is the first damn thing you should do you absolute moron. It's called the morning after pill for a reason. I'd also like to point out that Holly and Andi look HORRENDOUS. Their faces are contorted into these nightmare creatures and I have no idea why. I'd like to say that this is around the time I quit last time I played, so I'm going into the rest of this blind right now.
I won't lie to you, I'm almost completely mentally checked out by this point. MC and his gaggle of idiots go around town telling anyone they meet about everything they're going through. It's so unbelievably stupid. The only way I can describe this is, it's as if the writer's of Barney the Dinosaur made a porn game. Kat even almost says "I love you, you love me" verbatim. This has to be a joke. I honestly feel bad for the AI that spat this out. I also think I figured out what Jamie looks like. She looks like she got an allergic reaction to a bee stinging her cheeks, perpetually. The sex talk is also a joke. It's all the same, all the women just start autistically screeching as soon as MC looks at them. And when he tweens in and out of them they always scream at the top of their lungs that there is a penis inside them and they need to cum from him ejaculating inside them. That's not even funny, it's cringey. Once, maybe twice, sure, I guess. But every single time it's inferred they yell loud enough for the tri-state area to hear. And most of the sex happens in shitty bathroom stalls, why? If you want public sex go to a park, a pool, a movie theater. But no, we want to have sex in the bathroom? Hot... After that, the conversation for the next 10-20 minutes? Them yelling out lout for any and everyone to hear "MAN! We have so much SEX! It's CRAZY! Can you guys believe how much sex we have?!" Then whoever is around with a name says "Um can you guys keep it down, talking about sex makes my panties wet, I want to have sex with MC now." It's to the point where MC isn't really saying anything, but all 40 of his girlfriends will say "Hey, MC, wasn't that girl hot? You should sleep with her." And you're given a yes/no choice based solely on if you thought that DAZ model was hot. MC's dialogue after the choice is usually "Well, yeah I guess she was beautiful, but I won't make any promises." Then time skip ahead to when his flock of cuckqueans have acted behind the scenes to get the girl to sleep with him. Do you remember when the mafia was after one or more of them? Because even though they tell everyone about it, I don't think they understand it.
The fact they continue to rehash events and tell everyone EXACTLY what happened with XYZ is exhausting. They scheme behind the player to get other girls to sleep with him, so how is it they don't explain situations and get permissions the same way? Or is the writing just padded out by every character telling MC how magnanimous he is for sleeping with every girl ever, after they just recanted every event that happened while that character was not on screen? I'm not even at the "undercover" section and I half expect it to either be a black screen time skip that says it all went well. OR MC walks in, finds a girl, tells them everything that's happened up till that point, she converts from the syndicate and joins the gaggle of morons. WAIT A MINUTE! THEY SAID THE TITLE OF THE GAME! Except... "Consequences" generally denotes a negative connotation. And nothing has been unexpected or negative. After the terrible undercover operation goes awry, probably because they scream the plot to everyone they meet, they have to move to the beach house. You know the one on a California beach with a yacht in the bay? Poor souls. By this point, there was a change in the sex scenes to have buttons that change the camera angle. But it makes the sex scenes feel shorter on top of not noting the change means I didn't see it for quite a while, admittedly. And the ONE line of dialogue you can use it during means if you misclick, you have to rollback to see the other crap angles. Back to the story, the Violet arc is dumb too, MC fucked his cousin and they kiss over it? This ham-fisted incest insert makes the game even dumber than it already was. This just proves that they're trying to appeal to dumb fetishes. And the fact that he's related to the only black girl? Yeah right.
I finally got to Chapter Three and I want it to be over. Kat's getting a bionic leg that looks infinitely worse than the prosthetic before it. A global cabal is about to run a train on the only character MC hasn't met in person yet and I, as a player of the game, don't care. The tie MC has to the story is minimal at best. The villain has had 4 lines of dialogue, and even less of a reason to do all this. The actual overarching story is completely unoriginal. The dialogue makes me want to die. None of the characters have a character to speak of. The one they're TRYING, really hard, to push has some sort of character is MC. All the girls TELL MC about how great he is. They TELL him all the amazing things he's done. You, the player, have seen him do one thing: Get caught trying to sabotage a crime ring. Other than that, he's just shown up. He's done nothing but say empty compliments and have that same dopey ass look the entire time. Which isn't to say the rest of the cast doesn't have a giant smile all the time. "Aunt Liz has been kidnapped to be assaulted until she dies" As they say with giant smiles as if they've been dosed with Joker's laughing gas. They don't care, why should I? And them suddenly adding some weird cyberpunk altered human story on top of it all just shows they had no plans for this. They're just adding stuff to write something. No reason, just trying to tie together the empty sex scenes.
If you have half a brain, you should realize why this is bad. But I'll sum it up anyway to not have to play this again. The English, they constantly use wrong words and there's spelling mistakes, but wherever they got this dialogue from seems English. I don't know if it's AI or not but it reads so robotically that I can confidently say no human had fun writing any of it. The UI is just a few changed images and the UX is untouched, as far as I can tell. The Art is weak. Only two of the girls look appealing and one of them, MC never even gets with. The rest have these weird claymation faces that over-emote and would scare children. The dialogue is as if Barney and Friends or Barbie's Dream House made a porn game. Nothing any of them say feels natural or earned. MC will meet a girl and within 10 minutes they love each other and are having sex. MOST of the dialogue is about how much sex they are having, want to have, or will have. And if not, it's the entire group sitting around a table retelling every event of the story until that point to some new character. None of it is any fun to read. The Story itself is nothing. A global ring of evildoers and human traffickers want to make genetically altered people? Question mark? And MC's dad had a twin brother that was evil and got mad at his brother because he got caught? None of this happened on, or even near, the screen. It's all exposited to you through heavy handed dialogue by a surprise character. The only parts close to MC in any way is they want to rape MC's women and he's mad. Sure, they're awful people. But at no point did I give a shit about these robots. Half the time they're galivanting off to a toilet somewhere to have sex. But I also wanna ask, to the 4 people that get this far in my review, how is this game 2 stars but the other games that are exactly this bad 4 stars instead? Why do the other shit games get a pass? Because the models are prettier? That's the only thing I could possibly think of. Sure, maybe they're not written this vapidly, but not much better. Either way, this game is not good. Anyone that says otherwise has never played a game, read a book, or heard a story before. That's all there is to it.
