I mostly agree with the previous review.
I have a history of coming down on devs who studied up on DAZ, Ren'Py, Patreon, Steam... everything and anything EXCEPT script writing. So when the MC initially had a couple of moments of inner monologue (thoughts to himself, just a couple sentences), I really just let it slide because that was really it. Until I kept playing. It's not even nearly the most egregious use of inner monologue, but it is getting worse as the game goes on.
Inner monologue, also known as internal dialogue or self-talk, is the voice inside your head that narrates your thoughts and feelings without being spoken aloud. It helps with processing information, making decisions, and reflecting on experiences. It's actually a valid way of writing (George R. R. Martin's books couldn't exist without it), it's just abused and overused because it is also lazy writing. Have a child write anything and the far majority of the time, they will fall into an inner monologue trap. We are alone with our thoughts for most of our life, it makes sense that we would habitually do this in other activities. It is, however, something heavily trained out of anyone who takes any kind of writing lessons by a qualified individual. You are coached to exhaust every other option available to communicate what you want to "say" in inner monologue, to the extent that there is NO WAY other than inner monologue for it to be said.
Essentially, they make you do way more work to justify the use of inner monologue, than you save by being a lazy writer and just putting a third of what you write in inner monologue. That is the ratio, by the way. Up to full third of what is written is usually in inner monologue, and most often can just be discarded entirely as it is found to not be story or character dependent - meaning it changes nothing other than script length removing it. If you stick to it, eventually it reverses the bad habits, you know, like how most bad habits are reversed.
This dev not only loves self-talk, but they also love having the characters look directly at the camera - also a "no-no" which is known as breaking the 4th Wall. Unless you're Wade Wilson, Ferris Bueller, or a Sex Worker - no character's make eye contact with the camera.
On top of all that, this is yet another game where the dev thinks a weak-willed, insecure, early teens teenager take occasionally fakes like they're an Alpha (they even had the MC say he's an "Alpha Dog" in this game) makes for the best kind of main character, even though they're supposed to be in Uni. I didn't act like a 13-year-old in University. None of my friends did either. That was a long time ago, so maybe they do now? I mean, faking like you are better than you are is status quo for people, but for this MC it's at mental illness levels of delusion and flipping polarities of personality.
Everything else is fine or good. Renders and lighting are good. I mute music, so I have no idea there. I'm not far in, end of Day 2, I believe.
I have a history of coming down on devs who studied up on DAZ, Ren'Py, Patreon, Steam... everything and anything EXCEPT script writing. So when the MC initially had a couple of moments of inner monologue (thoughts to himself, just a couple sentences), I really just let it slide because that was really it. Until I kept playing. It's not even nearly the most egregious use of inner monologue, but it is getting worse as the game goes on.
Inner monologue, also known as internal dialogue or self-talk, is the voice inside your head that narrates your thoughts and feelings without being spoken aloud. It helps with processing information, making decisions, and reflecting on experiences. It's actually a valid way of writing (George R. R. Martin's books couldn't exist without it), it's just abused and overused because it is also lazy writing. Have a child write anything and the far majority of the time, they will fall into an inner monologue trap. We are alone with our thoughts for most of our life, it makes sense that we would habitually do this in other activities. It is, however, something heavily trained out of anyone who takes any kind of writing lessons by a qualified individual. You are coached to exhaust every other option available to communicate what you want to "say" in inner monologue, to the extent that there is NO WAY other than inner monologue for it to be said.
Essentially, they make you do way more work to justify the use of inner monologue, than you save by being a lazy writer and just putting a third of what you write in inner monologue. That is the ratio, by the way. Up to full third of what is written is usually in inner monologue, and most often can just be discarded entirely as it is found to not be story or character dependent - meaning it changes nothing other than script length removing it. If you stick to it, eventually it reverses the bad habits, you know, like how most bad habits are reversed.
This dev not only loves self-talk, but they also love having the characters look directly at the camera - also a "no-no" which is known as breaking the 4th Wall. Unless you're Wade Wilson, Ferris Bueller, or a Sex Worker - no character's make eye contact with the camera.
On top of all that, this is yet another game where the dev thinks a weak-willed, insecure, early teens teenager take occasionally fakes like they're an Alpha (they even had the MC say he's an "Alpha Dog" in this game
) makes for the best kind of main character, even though they're supposed to be in Uni. I didn't act like a 13-year-old in University. None of my friends did either. That was a long time ago, so maybe they do now? I mean, faking like you are better than you are is status quo for people, but for this MC it's at mental illness levels of delusion and flipping polarities of personality.Everything else is fine or good. Renders and lighting are good. I mute music, so I have no idea there. I'm not far in, end of Day 2, I believe.
