English:..........7/10
User Interface:...5/10
User Experience:..7/10
Art:..............8/10
Dialogue:.........3/10
Story:............2/10
Opinion:..........3/10................
Avg:...........5.0/10 [2.5/5]
All I remember about the last time I played this is the intro. It opens to MC narrating his life in a taxi, but it's out loud and the driver makes fun of him for it. Funny. Make no mistake, that was sarcasm. Just because the writer themself comments about their own poor choice of writing, doesn't absolve them of their poor choices. "MC returns home after X years and suddenly they have sex" is THE default shit story on this site. It also has the newly popularized "Click the button in the upper right to see a scantily clad version of this render because we're not confident in our game to not have dangled keys for your goldfish brain to leer at." All It's missing is a boring empty sandbox and a useless phone screen at this point. And don't kid yourself, imaginary reader I'm writing to, you have played and seen every aspect of this game done before, and better. I guess, for once, the UI is touched. It's still mostly default, just everything's so bright and in your face. And the names need an outline of some sort, the color values blend together a lot and sometimes you can't read who is talking. Not that it matters with stale dialog like this, but still. And there's no questioning it, there's no pretense, MC walks in his house and is eye-fucked by his sister right away. Literally all he's done up to this point is breathe unassisted, however miraculously that is. Better reward him. But let's get to it.
Like I said before, this opens up to a "...joke." Taxi driver being the only person I sympathize with in the story, as MC sits there audibly narrating his uneventful life with no proper nouns or specifics. Meaning MC has essentially not existed until this moment. MC acts like a dick, being called out for being clearly very deep on the spectrum. And when he enters his home, his sister throws herself onto him and, once their mom says "My handsome son" Ashley's brain shuts down and she makes googly eyes at him. She even makes it so she and MC share a room? And I can only hope she's feigning naivety during all this, which still means she has severe brain damage, liking a family member. And for ONCE, MC is like "Nah, this is weird, I'm out." Not wanting to be rude to Ashley. Only to completely ruin the character right away when he talks to him mom. "My god her tits are so big." If you flip-flop so soon, why bother writing anything at all? Just make porn animations. He established he was weirded out by his sister, then became his sister and lusted after his mom. Later, he'll do it again, don't you worry. His mom also sees no issue, which I will say is not far fetched. What adult siblings would ever do more than be siblings? But privacy is a necessary thing foe anyone. But I'm doing the mental gymnastics the author wants me to, instead of being a normal human. Also, the cut to the homeless guys was completely jarring and I had to rollback to understand it's supposed to be a cutaway joke about where they used to live. This is also a point where the non-English starts poking through. But MC says he'll sleep on the couch and Ashley runs away crying because she has the brain of an Eight year old. Then the night scene? The Mom LOOKS AT THE CAMERA, throws her keys on the ground to wake up MC to show him her ass and ask him to do the obligatory yoga scene with her. This game has to be a joke. It even wakes up MC in the same manner by his other sister.
The next morning, what happens? Oh, the young, healthy, athletic MC gets a bad back from sleeping on the couch? How original and possible. I wonder what that will cause down the line. And Ashley covered him up and slept on the floor next to him at some point last night. At ANY other time, I wouldn't even think about this scene. But MC was woken up TWICE late into the night. At what point did this happen? It was a very busy night, it seems too unreasonable to me. Not only that, but the similarly aged sister slept on a hardwood floor and shows no issues with her back. Meaning MC is a liar or a bitch, and that thought makes me laugh. And after MC finally goes to Ashley's room, it cements the idea she's a brain dead toddler and it's kinda gross she acts this way. I get that so many games do the same shit, but it's boring, gross, and unoriginal to continue doing the same thing over and over. Then they take a nap, right after eating breakfast, and wake up at 5pm. So add lazy to MCs traits. Then Ashley strips in front of MC because reasons. You even get a choice here that is either "Dream Sequence" or "Allude to the dream sequence but not show it." That's cheap and jarring. This leads into meeting Sophie and Nellie. More LIs that meet MC and just exist to like MC in some way. To the point you get to choose Nellie's gender. It's at this point I realized I put way too much thought into all these games I've played and don't know why I torture myself so. But MC has said he's had multiple girlfriends and not afraid to speak his mind, but when he's pushed to talk to Nellie, he trembles in fear. So his bullshittery in the beginning is directly contradicted here. Then they ham fist in references to resident evil and dota because "LOOK, PLAYER, IM A GAMER LIKE YOU!" Great. Also Sophie is sexually forward with MC the whole time.
This thing TRIES really hard to be funny. But all the jokes it tries to make were old the first time they were made. I don't think someone above the age of seven would laugh at the "Act natural" scene in any media. And MC further destroys whatever character he has by saying "Is that what girls do?" You can't be a party boy ladies man and this naive shota insert at the same time. It just means ever scene was just written to have that scene in this boring story. Right after they get home, MC walks in on his mom changing and instead of leaving, she says don't leave, just don't turn around. Already dumb, but she just decides to shove a finger inside herself for no reason. Then holds a kiss on him. On one hand I'm glad the dumb pretense is gone about this being anything more than a dumb porn game. But on the other I'm so annoyed I'm playing a game that tries to do literally nothing new or unique, thinking it's entertaining. Ashley skips the "innocent little sister" trope and skips immediately to the "little sister that discovered sex is fun" trope and at times it feels like MC has as much whiplash as me. But then Nellie exists and he acts like a bumbling fool, so I can't even sympathize for longer than a second. Enter Charlie. The sex fiend, as if all the women aren't already the same character. Follow that with a dream sequence with the deranged addition of the "See nudies" button with an underage character. All in the middle of a dream sequence that just reestablishes the fact that MC was always nice to Ashley. We didn't need that flashback, nothing happened, and all it shows was basic human decency.
The next part is MC goes to get ice cream with Ashley, and they do that thing where they announce how delicious ice cream looks. ICE CREAM. Wow. Then she swaps back to the innocent girl act to get kisses. They scurry away so MC can have sex with Charlie. And right after, they integrate their homophobia? inb4: "How can I make him normal?" Is very much homophobia. It all leads to the same contrived sexual situations over and over. Adding a whole school of girls dressed as hookers in math and computer science classes, apparently. Then nothing happens for the rest of the game. Sure, sex scenes occur but everything that anyone says is repeating everything or is about sex. So, those of you that just want a fap fest, have at it. All the women have the weird baby doll face and the animations are fine, if not a little slow. But once the older sister causes you to make the dom/sub choice there's no more faking a story.
The English is okay. It's stale and mess up a bunch, but not enough to give me a headache. The UI/UX is default with a rainbow overlay, about it. The art is good, outside of occasional lighting issues and the weird faces it's not bad. The dialog and story is nothing. It's LITERALLY the barebones MC returning home to have sex with family. Nothing special but completely boring and seen before. If you just want to open a game and see sex scene loosely strung along with cringey humor and bad dialogue, this is a game. But if you're like me and want a story of ANY kind, meh.