VN - Ren'Py - Up and Down [v0.03a] [Evere1st]

I had the usual doubts going in to this, but it surprised me. The language translation is really good and the dialog solid (for the most part). Most often these Russian to English translations are horrible and ruin what could be decent stories. So this was a big plus for me. But still, being only the prologue it shows promise.

The story pulled me in as unique and interesting, and the cinematics seemed flawless. This story has a ways to go, but it's a great start. Just a couple issues that stand out and I hope will be dealt with:
There's some russian still untranslated toward the end of prologue; there's some unfinished code in the dialog at this point as well; and finally the flashback and car ride after the lawyers visit on Monday, the dialog is all flowery/sexual narrator poetry prose in place of actual dialog, and it's really weird. It took me out of story and made me question if I should even continue. But it went back to normal conversational dialog after this sequence so I continued.

The models looked good and the women looked great, each having an identity and a variety of shapes, sizes and looks. Sure the MC has featured in other great stories, but what actor sticks to one role? Right? The scenes were set up nicely and the lighting wasn't a problem that I could see.

It's still a prologue and has a ways to go, so nitpicking just seems stupid this early in the game. Especially one with such potential. Will be watching this one for future updates, hopefully it won't take years for the next chapter.

VERSION: 0.03a
SUMMARY: Potential, but not there yet.
RATINGS: (out of 5): ⭐⭐⭐

NOTE: The following categories and scoring method are my own criteria and may require more context. Additionally, scoring is based on the state, and what is in the current version and not what may or may not be introduced at a later point.

1. Character (Model) Visuals......... : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
2. General (World) Visuals........... : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
3. Animation Quality................. : ⭐⭐⭐⭐
4. Character Personality(Persona).... : ⭐⭐⭐
5. Story & Dialogue.................. : ⭐⭐
6. Writing & Grammar................. : ⭐⭐⭐
7. UX/UI, Game Type & Mechanics.......: ⭐⭐
8. Playtime & Pacing..................: ⭐⭐
9. Music & Sounds.....................: ⭐⭐⭐⭐
10. Adult Content & Fetishes.......... : ⭐⭐⭐

Average: X of 50 possible points giving a X% rating i.e. X stars.

PROS: - See my opinions section for details.

1. Good looking characters, models (LIs)
2. Overall renders are decent, not great but not horrible.
3. Animations are done rather well also.
4. Style and story are not bad, nothing overly
5. Music and sounds are nicely done also, includes some decent lewd scene sounds also.
6. Some kinky H-scenes that are done rather well.

CONS: - See my opinions section for details.

1. No opacity setting for dialogue box, basic stuff yet missing
2. No way to skip some scenes
3. Few choices, little MC agency, feels like choices don't matter or choices are locked out for some reason or missing condition you didnt know existed...
4. General inconsistencies in this AVN, if not way the story unfolds its the scenes themselves.
5. Writing is not the best, and there is much room for improvement as well as the flow and cohesion of conversations. Unnatural in this state now. Check comments.
6. Plot/story goes from 0 to 60 with little context to anything happening, this is a major no no for me. Relationships are clearly "incestual" in nature (which should be in tags btw) and some relationships between family members is clearly already at full swing so again, lacking background info and context.
7. Dynamic between characters is too convenient, the developer should have introduced this over time as it would have created more connection for the player with the characters and their relationships as they developed.

OPINIONS, SUGGESTIONS & FINAL REMARKS:

NOTE: The following remarks are my personal opinions and thoughts, which may provide more context and could be useful to the developer. (Read them or don't)

• The Russian at the start is slightly "odd" but there are subtitles and really has little affect, so writing isn't as horrible as everyone says.
• Meet and greet with estranged family feels more like a long time no see than a never seen which it is especially for the daughters. This adds to the argument of the intro to characters and plot not being done well, too much time spent talking about the car lift instead of who they going to meet. The MC sister having a daughter is just dropped on the player yet the MC knows about her? But doesnt say anything to his daughter, its like the sisters kid was dropped in suddenly.
• Tone and way some of the scenes flow are actually good, the style is not bad at all and how its executed shows the developer tried for higher than average flow of scenes. The issue as with other parts of this AVN is the flow and execution that requires more finesse and work.
• As mentioned, some scenes feel out of sync, like the MC standing next to his sister at the window, the MC looks out of place like he was superimposed on the scene. Such inconsistencies break immersion. The same with a so called storm closing down most of the town yet the place looks untouched...
• Added to the plot, the dialogue is kinda weird, almost cheesy but mostly weird, especially how the daughter of the MC are so open, blase and has zero tact with her intention to bone her daddy...this works fine usually LATER, once the dialogue, and dynamic is created. The issue is that they talking like they quoting some love struck, lust bound erotic novel drivel, its UNNATURAL!
• Considering how much this Dev does do well, one can argue that reviewers will give them flak for the entire product not being consistent and that the reason for the inconsistency in quality is clearly not a skill issue but effort and attention to detail. Perhaps some more eyes on the product before release?
• NOTE: Dialogue gets progressively worse as the AVN unfolds, like the initial parts were proof read when the rest was simply google direct translated, this tells me the dev started to rush. Pity, this really needs revision.

TLDR:

Overall not horrible, but should be better, has enough potential but has some work to do and redo. Scenes and flow of the story are inconsistent and don't flow or look natural, not all the time mind you but its there. Dialogue is not the best and often simple unnatural which kills immersion and is cringe-worthy. Characters look fairly decent so do most of the renders. Some UI/UX issue present also that need work. Overall, its workable, but dev needs to seriously look at the reviews for guidance.

Pros:

- Hot girls. I have to say, while models are attractive, they’re not really unique - at least not to me. It feels like Dev used common assets and didn’t bother to tweak them much, so most of the girls look familiar. I’ve seen them in other games already. And don’t even get me started on the MC’s model.
- Art. Renders are not top-notch, but they’re definitely above average.

Cons:

- English. It’s pretty bad. I’m not a native speaker myself, but some lines still made me facepalm. On top of that, not everything is translated, there are random russian lines here and there. Overall, it’s hard to follow what’s going on in some scenes.
- Forced lesbian content. It feels like Dev decided to turn a big chunk of LIs into lesbians, - oh wait, sorry, "bi-curious", as it’s called these days. And what’s with devs always making MC’s sister a lesbian? Is that some kind of unwritten VN rule? *sigh
- Story. It’s boring and sometimes downright incoherent. For example, MC sends his daughter to his sister, someone he hasn’t spoken to in years. Let me guess, she’s going to turn her into a lesbian too? )))

Overall my experience was unpleasant, mostly because of the bad English and forced fetishes. Hot girls alone can’t make up for game’s flaws.

+ good animations
+ renders
+ fucking hot girls
+ maybe Alma? Probably best girl

- poorly done lewd scenes. They are very short and it's only a few animations and no dialogues. Nothing exciting
- unavoidable lesbo stuff. If you are not into sharing your girls and don't want to see how they fuck or lust after each other behind MC back, then nothing you can do about it. Middle finger for you Dear Player. Lesbo cucks should be happy about this
- story is meh
- boring, dull passive MC. He's not a walking dildo (yet) but in the future - who knows? Could happen
- pseudo choices
- english, sometimes it's hard to understand what's going on
- unnecessary drama with sister
- forced cum swapping scene with Olga..

Hard to say anything positive about this avn in the current state. Dev obviously put a lot of effort into animations, they are really good.. can't say the same about rest of the game.. 1 star

This game is definitely on my list. I love everything about it: the plot, the characters, the graphics, the amazing cutscenes. I really liked the dialogue – it makes sense, there are no unnecessary scenes or conversations. It's a great premise for a promising game.

Translation is terrible. It is full of grammatical errors. Bunch of Russian text is embedded in the renders as well and on the save page.

Sergey? Why not Borris? (IFYKYK)

Pretty sure this is missing an Incest tag like a massive one.

Animations would be nice to be able to click faster through, so god damn slow

Could Claire be uglier? Yeah but not much terrible tat placement (chest) and way too many piercings smoking hot lewd scene though. Amber's face is rough


AVN has potential just needs a lot of work can;t give more than 1 star in its current state

TL;DR: Very decent game.

★★★★☆ Models are cute (even though not original; the dev got them from a pirate site because he's from a communist country like Russia or something, and communists have no money). I would try to modify them a bit, but who knows, it might be harder than I think.

★★★★★ Animations are well done and abound. Renders quality is good.

★★★★★ The story is interesting. Drama, mystery, romance. Quality stuff. Some dialogs are weird: since the flashback scene with the sister at the beach, there are strange romantic or poetic phrases inserted in usual conversations. It gives a bit of a surrealistic touch (not really ruining anything if you ask me).

★★★★☆ Music is hit and miss. Sounds are pretty good, though at times I'd adjust some levels.

★★★★★ Sex scenes could be longer, but they are good, with proper romantic buildup.

[0.03a]

A very decent start.
I enjoyed reading and watching it. The models and renders are decent, and the plot is fresh and intriguing.
I'm already looking forward to the next chapter.

Models and renders - 4.5 out of 5
Plot 5 out of 5
Sound 4 out of 5

Overall rating: highly recommended.