What's the right balance between not enough or too much text ?

[Gwedelino]

That's quite a difficult question to answer but I'm curious about what people think of writing in-game.

I'm talking especially about visual novels which are not supposed to be plain books, but at the same time have a strong part of their "gameplay" that relies on ready text.

I have the feeling, looking at a lot of popular games that it's quite easy to reach the "too much words" limit, while people seems to be less bothered by a less wordy games.

What's your opinion about that ?

 

[kharza]

I think it´s completely up to the writing style and overall quality of the game. When the writing is good and the story itself is interesting as well there never can be really too many words, the only thing that matters that the things said are of importance and you´re not going in circles. However nearly all erotic games are made mostly by amateurs, so the writing quality will rarely be up to that level. Because of that I would say less wordy games are usually more popular.

For visual novels especially it isn´t that simple, because the writing is only half of the experience. Sound effects, background images, character´s expressions do need to change somewhat regularly or the whole thing will feel stale. You don´t want to look at the same screen for 5+ minutes unless the writing is really subpar.

If you manage to get people excited about your work then most of them will probably sit through a bigger wall of text, but since these are erotic games there always will be a considerable portion of people that only look at it from the perspective of sexual content and for those large blocks of text will be always unappealing. So if you want the game to be as popular as possible then fast concise sentences, with quickly changing images/character expressions/backgrounds would be the best approach. In visual novels I would say as long as you have the resources it´s always better to show something than to describe it in words. Leave the words for the actions and happenings.

 

[Sphere42]

It really depends on how a specific scene flows. I'll happily read through a multi-page wall of varying action interspersed with character/plot development but in procedurally generated text games I'll quickly identify "the deep anal passage" and skim over it/blank it out even if it's only two lines with dozens of possible synonym combinations.

A lot of "mechanically VN-like" scenes also seem awfully redundant, either repeating simple exclamations such as "aaah!" or "nnnng~" several times or describing the contents of the accompanying still image as opposed to filling in how the scene develops from one image to the next or providing details and introspection the image can't deliver.

 

[baneini]

Given the trends in porn women are clearly into novels as their primary porn source. So when you make a game aimed at women you have to account for different needs and sensibilities.

Theres games that are very utilitarian with their text, its tied to sex or gameplay topics and everything irrelevant is cut out. If you're a good writer you probably can take the time to describe things in more detail and keep it interesting on top of the purely utilitarian text.
You prob need to go trough a process of producing text and seeing how much of it the reader finds engaging and what is deemed unnecessary to enjoy the game as it depends on your writing, the game and the audience.

I would still say when you being to seem like a novel with nothing interesting happening within 30 seconds of reading dialogue you're going for the female audience as the men who aren't looking for an amateur novel begin to check out.

 

[Queen Rat]

It's not about the number of words, but how economically the creator can convey the message. When characters start prattling about the weather, their afternoon nap and what they had for breakfast, the aim was probably to convey camaraderie or casual intimacy, but it is often possible to achieve the same result in fewer words, or even better, by creating an interesting situation and showing how the characters interact.

Another issue is describing things you can clearly see in the image. Authors are usually advised to show not tell, and they have to use only words for that. VN's being a visual medium make the show part a lot easier (theoretically), but still creators feel the urge to tell. Interior monologues are often the culprit here - if the girl's boobs are clearly hanging out in the image, there is no need for the MC to think "Wow, her boobs are hanging out!". I get that sometimes it is necessary to use interior monologue to show that the MC is aroused or impressed or something, but it becomes quite distracting if he's supplying a running commentary on every second image.

As an creator you should always ask yourself if you can use fewer words or more interesting ways to describe the same thing, and whether you really need text when an image will do. And clearly this wall of text indicates that I also l have a long way to go in this regard!

 

[woody554]

it's not about too little/too much, it's about pacing. how fast do you want the scene to seem. if you want it to be slow you put in more text. if you want it to seem fast you put in very little text.

I mean you can't like have a heavy monologue during a high speed chase, without making it seem like the time is stopping. or, if you do need the time to stop, maybe you have a time stopping device or something, then you use long heavy monologues to portray the character having all the time in the world.

that said, shorter is usually better. unless you have an actual reason to sound long-winded. like the character being an obnoxiously self-centered asshole. for example a typical supervillain.

 

[anne O'nymous]

That's quite a difficult question to answer but I'm curious about what people think of writing in-game.

Well, as others said, it totally depend of what is wrote and how it's wrote. It's not the number of words that count, but how easily they are to read.
The same number of words can lead to something that people will find indigestible and will not be able to bear on a long run.
But... If you pace it correctly, let the words dance, your text will fly in players' head. Then, your game will not feel as heavy.

I have the feeling, looking at a lot of popular games that it's quite easy to reach the "too much words" limit, while people seems to be less bothered by a less wordy games.

It mean nothing. People who don't like to read will always complain when there's too much words, while people will rarely complain because there's not enough. Mostly because technically "not enough words" do not exist.

While, "I am happy", is the shorten version of, "I'm happy to see you, it's been a long time", there's enough words in the first one... Not enough information carried, but enough words to make an understandable sentence. The real problem lie there, in the amount of information you feel necessary in your text. If you previously established that they haven't met since a long time, the first sentence is enough. Else, you'll need the second one anyway.

 

[qwsaq]

"Brevity is the soul of wit."
The mark of a good writer is the ability to convey maximum meaning with minimum words.
Be descriptive. Be poetic, even. But every word should be carefully selected for its ability to effectively and eloquently describe the scene.

Don't write me The Iliad of the Blowjob.

 

[Nagozo]

"Brevity is the sole of wit."

No need to bring your foot fetish into this

 

[sirlurxalot]

Hold Ctrl

 

[qwsaq]

No need to bring your foot fetish into this

My foot fetish is always relevant.

 

[KittyLove]

When writing erotic scenes I personally like when people describe the situation. Think of your own sexual encounters what do you remember? Location, setting, your senses smell,touch,sound etc.. Adding to that think about when a woman cums, things like her toes curl, head snaps back etc.. Not just dick in wet pussy ah ah ah... I'm cumming!!! Drum roll.. he came in her pussy.

For filler dialogue character building. I like seeing writers let the characters actions and conversations describe themselves. Instead of saying XYZ was a horny slut. Let the character be promiscuous in a sense she will bring up if a certain dudes hot or fuckable, or some remark that shows how the character thinks/behaves in a promiscuous manner. Let the reader discern the character, you are only guiding the reader, they will fill in the blanks. If you stick to these principles I personally will happily read the wall of text. Good luck.

 

[Carpe Stultus]

I think a good rule of thumb is 1-2 lines of text per render/picture. Otherwise the text might be too much for some people and they start complaining about reading a book.

 

[Canade]

I start skipping if it goes past 2 or 3 lines per render, and delete the game if it has a poor balance between talking and doing things. Too much talk and I delete the game, period. I no longer give games the benefit of the doubt that it'll get better later on anymore, I just delete.

 

[KittyLove]

I start skipping if it goes past 2 or 3 lines per render, and delete the game if it has a poor balance between talking and doing things. Too much talk and I delete the game, period. I no longer give games the benefit of the doubt that it'll get better later on anymore, I just delete.

Question out of curiosity. What if it is an HTML game that is most likely heavy on text? Or do you not play HTML games?

 

[Deleted member 440241]

Whenever you write something for a scene ask yourself, "how does this move the scene forward?" A lot of the overly verbose games I've played are usually trying to be funny or deep. As a result conversations and inner monologues tend to drag on while the writer thinks in circles. If I'm spending 5 minutes reading dialogue that goes nowhere and doesn't impact the story, I can virtually guarantee I'll be bored. Also try to remember that it's a VISUAL novel. Much like a play or movie there's images to go with the dialogue, so players don't need things described to them. Let the writing flesh out the characters while the images cue players to scenery and emotions.

 

[Gwedelino]

I think a good rule of thumb is 1-2 lines of text per render/picture. Otherwise the text might be too much for some people and they start complaining about reading a book.

I understand, but not every game is a 3DCG Daz'like one. This rule is much harder to follow for a 2d game.

 

[Ambir]

That's quite a difficult question to answer but I'm curious about what people think of writing in-game.

I'm talking especially about visual novels which are not supposed to be plain books, but at the same time have a strong part of their "gameplay" that relies on ready text.

I have the feeling, looking at a lot of popular games that it's quite easy to reach the "too much words" limit, while people seems to be less bothered by a less wordy games.

What's your opinion about that ?

I'd say that 'too much text' or 'not enough text' is not quite the right distinction.

Rather, I would say that it depends on how detailed your graphics are. If you are using the sprites +background method where everything is pretty static, you need a lot more descriptions, whereas if everything is already shown, explaining it to your viewer will be redundant.

 

[JoGio]

Any text above the minimum required can be "too much" for some people, while others enjoy digging deep into the details. This has been solved in many games by making the details optional.

Some examples:
- In dialogue scenes, Many RPGs (Skyrim, Mass Effect, Witcher 3, etc.) give players optional choices which give more detail, but also allow less patient players to skip all that by choosing the main options and skipping inquiries. This works well when choices that move the conversation along are visually distinct from choices that are just "more info".

- Many games allow players to find notes, journals, letters, audio logs,or other similar objects where more information can be obtained, if the player so chooses. This lets curious players hunt for these fragments of info to create a more thorough impression of the world, characters, and plot without bogging down players who aren't as interested in the lore.

Sometimes I find myself losing interest in a game if it gives too many details too soon. For example, I don't want to be confronted with potentially crucial details about a character before I get the chance to become invested.

Many writers also fall into the trap of explaining how the world works so thoroughly to the point where it loses any sense of mystery. When everything is clear then there's nothing to be curious about or look forward to.

 

[Degenubis]

I think it's a problem that speaks of the audience that many games attract.

At the end of the day, a lot of people play AVNs for the "porn" aspects. Not everyone, but many. For those people, I think text can often be a distraction from getting to the point of what they're looking for. So the more you add, the more easily it feels like "too much".

Likewise though, there are a sizable group of people (myself included) who look for more, and for whom a good story and depth makes a game stand out. For them, more text is often less of an issue provided it's not just filler content.

I'd say it kinda depends on what game a person is trying to make, and to where they feel the audience they want to target is. There's always a balance to be found, but at the same time what you write needs to fit what you're trying to do. If you want to produce a narrative rich game, then write more!

I'd also say that this is really an area where fan feedback on games is invaluable. Make your best guess for an initial release, and then adapt accordingly with further releases going forward. Best way to find a balance, imo.