HTML Abandoned Winter Cabin [v0.02] [david123]

[7767]

Hello there!
I am working on a incest themed, text based game using the Twine engine.
I was disappointed at the lack of good incest themed text games on here so I have decided to make my own.

You play as Matt - a high school graduate who decides to take a year off from life to get closer to his mom. A winter getaway out in a cabin in the Rocky Mountains does not go as planned (or maybe you planned this all along) as you and your mom gets trapped in the valley after an avalanche blocks the only road out.
You have always dreamed of becoming your mom's lover and now you are given the best opportunity of your life to make your dreams come true.​

At the current state the game is: short and unpolished.

I would like to get a solid story format established first before going deep into the story.
Give it a try and tell me how it is so far. I will take your feedback and use it to improve the game.

Here are some things I will not be adding in the game:

• corruption
• rape
• supernatural powers

Here are some things I am unsure about/planning on adding into the game:

• Other characters: This should be easy to do since there are other cabins near by. But I am afraid this will cause the story to drift away from the mom-son focus I was going for. (unsure on)
• Game play elements: hp, warmth, food, etc... (planning on)
• Choices that affect late game content(planning on)
• Impregnation: What better way to show a woman your love than by putting a baby in her? (late game content - planning on)
• If you have any suggestions or ideas please feel free to leave them in the comments.

Even though I will be focusing mainly on the story telling aspect of the game I will also include some erotic pictures to go along with it.

Date: November/01/2017
Developer/Publisher: david123
Censorship: None
Version: v0.02
OS: PC
Language: English
Genre: Incest, mother/son romance, text only (until sexy pics are added)

Installation:
1: Extract contents to its own folder (when pics are added)
2: Double click Winter Cabin_vx.xx.html to play the game via browser.

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[Eoin]

Feedback:

1. Make the font clearer and smaller. It is slightly hard to read at that size. Maybe try out different fonts as a whole?
2. The story seems solid. Your writing is pretty good.
3. The UI + options could do with a bit of cleaning up (but as this is a proof-of-concept, I'll let you away with it)

Overall, I like the premise of the story. The writing is short but descriptive.

Try and keep the pictures with the html file, in a structured file system. It may make it easier for you (and us, the player) later on.

 

[muttdoggy]

I agree with Eoin's points.
It's a good story. Well written and has a nice narrative flow.
Could add text sizer or alternate font?

 

[Fragmentation]

There isn't much here but the writing is already better than about 70% of the incest games out there. And it doesn't rely on bad writing-crutches like mind control or superpowers to make the relationships seem possible. I can already tell it's going to be one of my favorites.

Is there any chance you'll be adding pregnancy to the game at some point?

 

[david123]

Thankyou for all the feedback so far! I will make sure to keep them in mind as I continue to work on the game.

 

[david123]

There isn't much here but the writing is already better than about 70% of the incest games out there. And it doesn't rely on bad writing-crutches like mind control or superpowers to make the relationships seem possible. I can already tell it's going to be one of my favorites.

Is there any chance you'll be adding pregnancy to the game at some point?

Hey man, thanks for the comment! I'm glad you like the writing!

I'm sure his mom will be willing to carry his child given the circumstances and the level of passion shared between them But if you are talking about having the story continue well into later months where the mom is actually carrying the baby - well that will be hard since the time span for the story - as planned right now - is below a month.

 

[Fragmentation]

I'm sure his mom will be willing to carry his child given the circumstances and the level of passion shared between them But if you are talking about having the story continue well into later months where the mom is actually carrying the baby - well that will be hard since the time span for the story - as planned right now - is below a month.

I'm sure I'd be happy with any amount of impregnation/pregnancy content you choose to add. I just always consider it a nice cherry on top of any good romance game.

 

[david123]

I'm sure I'd be happy with any amount of impregnation/pregnancy content you choose to add. I just always consider it a nice cherry on top of any good romance game.

I think so too man. I will make sure you are given the option to if you play your cards right.

 

[momsboy22]

Pretty good first impression dude! Keep it up!

 

[SarahMaria]

Thanks! Btw this is my first post on this forum.

 

[Vanaduke]

I think so too man. I will make sure you are given the option to if you play your cards right.

For future reference, a good POV shot during sexual scenes compensate the build up

 

[Quizzy]

Really like the premise and nice descriptive writing so far. Can't wait to see where this goes, keep up the good work.

 

[Chel]

Any plans on adding nsfw pics to illustrate the scenes? Those would add a lot.

 

[david123]

Any plans on adding nsfw pics to illustrate the scenes? Those would add a lot.

I already have some - real porn images - in the game already. I would like to add my own hand drawn ones in the future.

 

[Rise7]

so you used twine but did you use a template of some sorts, if so could you link me

 

[anschwww]

I would like to add my own hand drawn ones in the future.

do u have 1-2 examples?

 

[Rise7]

so you used twine but did you use a template of some sorts, if so could you link me

to make the game

 

[david123]

to make the game

I'm using the SugarCube story format of Twine. I did not use any custom templates but had to make my own HTML and CSS style. Going forward I will have to create my own macros and functions since Twine's built in functions and scripts are annoying.

 

[david123]

do u have 1-2 examples?

They are some artworks I made for a game I used to work on. Had to stop on the production since my artwork sucked and I got busy with University. Also people were complaining my art isnt too great so Im practicing right now and hopefully will get better. After this game I would like to go back to the other game. It is also supposed to be a incest themed but using RPGMakerMV.

If I make my own art for this game it will look something similar to those.

 

[fappenings]

So far this seems great. For me the text was large enough, but I wouldn’t mind if you were to modify it. The story is interesting, and I will keep an eye out for the development of it. Good Luck and keep up the good work.