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Hey guys.
These teasers were hard to pick out.
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I apologize for going silent again. This post was meant to be up three days ago.
WVM Day 7 final will be out soon, a few days.
(If you only care about when it will come out then you don't need to read further. That's all the info I have right now, the rest is just something I feel the need to share.)
I like to remain open and honest with you guys. But there's obviously things I can't bring up for numerous reasons. This is one of those situations where I really don't know how much information to give but I want you guys to know what's going on. So I'm just going to say it.
Late Thursday night my best friend took his own life. I didn't find out until I woke up Friday morning.
I talked about it briefly on discord earlier but his mother was having health issues and I know they were weighing on him heavily. And the last thing we talked about was Reckful's death.
He didn't show any signs of being suicidal, he never talked about anything like that before and he told me he was doing okay. He didn't message or call anyone but his girlfriend before he did it and even then it was only a normal goodnight message.
I'm trying my best to write this without emotions. But it's fucking painful.
He was the guy I played games with most nights. He was the guy I could tell anything to and I did. He was one of the only people that I told about WVM. Before I moved I spent every weekend at his house. I've known him since I was 3.
I don't know what to do. It hurts so fucking bad.
There's 6 people that meant the world to me and I've lost half of them this year.
I've spent these past few days with my girlfriend and grandpa. I've just been trying to distract myself, but nights have been the hardest. I can't sleep.
I know I shouldn't but I feel so fucking guilty.
I can't play normal games because they remind me of him. I can't drown out in public places because of covid. All I have is spending time with those close to me and working on WVM.
I can't keep doing this. I can't keep losing those close to me. This year is so fucked.
I don't do drugs, I don't drink. There's no escape from these fucking feelings.
He helped me out so much with my aunt's death. He would stay up late just to talk to me and he made me feel so much better. I can't believe they're both gone. It still feels like I'm going to get a message from him any minute.
The only thing going through my mind is old memories. Like one time when we were kids. My family was really poor and I didn't have much, so he gave me a bunch of his toys. For no reason he just did it. That's just the kind of person he is.
I have to stop. My hands are so fucking shaky I can't type.
I'm in pain guys, but I'm going to be okay. I'm still working on WVM. It's really all I want to do right now.
I can't really explain much of how I feel right now. I went from never really dealing with death to dealing with three in half a year. And it's fucking hard.
I'm very grateful for my support system right now. I'll be silent for a bit while I try to stabilize. I won't really be on discord and I likely won't be in the comments here for a bit. I'm sorry guys it's just too hard right now.
I know it's frustrating to follow me right now. I've been so up and down. Believe me I know how fucking frustrating it is.
Day 7 final will be out in a few days. And a client poll will be up soon as well.
Message those you care about and make sure they're doing okay. And if you're the one that needs help don't be afraid to message
someone.
I love you guys. <3
