VN Ren'Py Abandoned Xephon[v0.1 Prologue] [XephonDev]

BaasB

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Aug 5, 2018
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Overview:
Xephon is a game that tells the story of Kevin, who was forced to move to another city and live with his cousin. He lost his job, his place at university and put his loved ones in danger from the mafia. Will he be able to discover what Xephon is, why he is so valuable to the mafia? Will his relationship with his loved ones work out?​

Thread Updated: 2021-03-09
Release Date: 2021-03-09
Developer: XephonDev - -
Censored: No
Version: 0.1 Prologue
OS: Windows, Mac, Android
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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1097280_Bath_002.png 1097282_Ceil_001.png 1097284_d_Gang_007.png 1097285_d_Gang_005.png 1097288_d_Home_007.png 1097291_d_Ruby_House_002.png
 

m0us3r

Active Member
Nov 28, 2020
503
1,487
It seems to me, according to the presented screenshots, that many renders are a bit too dark. It's harder to see details, especially for older people (and for those who use "reduced blue" monitor settings, as working with texts on white background etc.). So I'd suggest in general to make them a bit brighter.
 

XephonDev

Member
Game Developer
Dec 1, 2020
167
182
It seems to me, according to the presented screenshots, that many renders are a bit too dark. It's harder to see details, especially for older people (and for those who use "reduced blue" monitor settings, as working with texts on white background etc.). So I'd suggest in general to make them a bit brighter.
Sure, I keep it in mind. Thanks for the advice.
 

Deleted member 2412505

Well-Known Member
May 31, 2020
1,120
1,673
The premise seemed interesting. People like mafia stuff, violence and mystery.
Make option to rename mc. It helps us immerse with the story.
There are some grammatical mistakes in dialogues. And dialogues structure could use little bit of work.
The writing seemed little inconsistent. First choice was tell the truth or lie to cousin. People need reason for action. Why would i lie to cousin? What's the benefit of lying to her? We don't know anything.
Paige seemed to despise us with no visible reason whatsoever. But when later met her out of nowhere we fingered her.
And we met Paige and her sister and later when we met her again that night she said her sister's missing for three days.
All the relationships or interactions with female were kinda forced. Like we get ruby was necessary for the plot but why does cousin loves us? She wants us but mc refuses. Forced relationships are not idea. People don't like that.
And mc kinda has that pessimistic face. Maybe recast mc.
Instead of writing a part and rendering it and going with flow, make the whole script first. Have someone run through dialogues and plot.
 

XephonDev

Member
Game Developer
Dec 1, 2020
167
182
The premise seemed interesting. People like mafia stuff, violence and mystery.
Make option to rename mc. It helps us immerse with the story.
There are some grammatical mistakes in dialogues. And dialogues structure could use little bit of work.
The writing seemed little inconsistent. First choice was tell the truth or lie to cousin. People need reason for action. Why would i lie to cousin? What's the benefit of lying to her? We don't know anything.
Paige seemed to despise us with no visible reason whatsoever. But when later met her out of nowhere we fingered her.
And we met Paige and her sister and later when we met her again that night she said her sister's missing for three days.
All the relationships or interactions with female were kinda forced. Like we get ruby was necessary for the plot but why does cousin loves us? She wants us but mc refuses. Forced relationships are not idea. People don't like that.
And mc kinda has that pessimistic face. Maybe recast mc.
Instead of writing a part and rendering it and going with flow, make the whole script first. Have someone run through dialogues and plot.
Yeeee, maybe story go to fast, before I start making Chapter 1 I thinking about extending Prologue a little
 

HansDampf788

Well-Known Member
Dec 31, 2018
1,899
6,274
I will be posting progress on my Discord and for free on Patreon
That was not what I was asking I wanted to know if you can already say something about the tags(kinks) that will be added to the game in future updates because if there will be certain tags in the future I and others don't even want to start playing the game now.
 
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XephonDev

Member
Game Developer
Dec 1, 2020
167
182
That was not what I was asking I wanted to know if you can already say something about the tags(kinks) that will be added to the game in future updates because if there will be certain tags in the future I and others don't even want to start playing the game now.
So ye, I'll probably add some
 
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e-disfunction

Active Member
Jun 1, 2019
731
724
From the original post:
"Developer Notes:
The prologue is not one of the longest. I made it just to see if the game idea itself makes sense. If the reception will be positive Chapter 1 will be 45 minutes of game time. If not I will finish the game in a reduced version or even in full."


How will you --the creator--judge whether or not you get a posiitve reception? :unsure:
If you can't tell if your idea makes sense, how can you judge the differences between: mistakes that need correction, constructive criticism, and poor reception? :oops:

e-d (y)
 

XephonDev

Member
Game Developer
Dec 1, 2020
167
182
From the original post:
"Developer Notes:
The prologue is not one of the longest. I made it just to see if the game idea itself makes sense. If the reception will be positive Chapter 1 will be 45 minutes of game time. If not I will finish the game in a reduced version or even in full."


How will you --the creator--judge whether or not you get a posiitve reception? :unsure:
If you can't tell if your idea makes sense, how can you judge the differences between: mistakes that need correction, constructive criticism, and poor reception? :oops:

e-d (y)
I was thinking for if the game makes sense to other people, this is my first game. As I wrote I will finish it, regardless of the reception. If there will be some feedback, and I see that there is already, I will simply devote more time to it.
 

Faptime

Well-Known Member
Mar 25, 2018
1,744
3,963
The bare bones are there, but the prologue needs to be fleshed out.

Who is Kevin? He's a college dropout living with his cousin who he has a sexual relationship with. His cousin doesn't know he's a dropout, and doesn't want him mixed up in unlawful shit because of reasons (expand). He has just been offered a job by his girlfriend to do questionable shit.

All of this should be clear to the player before we are asked if we want to lie to our cousin or not.

How did MC and his cousin get into a relationship? Why are they living together?

And then he goes for the job and the mob boss asks a complete stranger to find a mole in his organization.

And the girl who can't stand him just lays back to get fingerbanged by him.

There's a lot of questions that need to be answered and if the MC knows something, the players should know it.

I like the premise, but this prologue needs to be at least three times as long to get all the info that we need in order to set up the story properly.

All the best going forward.
 
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XephonDev

Member
Game Developer
Dec 1, 2020
167
182
The bare bones are there, but the prologue needs to be fleshed out.

Who is Kevin? He's a college dropout living with his cousin who he has a sexual relationship with. His cousin doesn't know he's a dropout, and doesn't want him mixed up in unlawful shit because of reasons (expand). He has just been offered a job by his girlfriend to do questionable shit.

All of this should be clear to the player before we are asked if we want to lie to our cousin or not.

How did MC and his cousin get into a relationship? Why are they living together?

And then he goes for the job and the mob boss asks a complete stranger to find a mole in his organization.

And the girl who can't stand him just lays back to get fingerbanged by him.

There's a lot of questions that need to be answered and if the MC knows something, the players should know it.

I like the premise, but this prologue needs to be at least three times as long to get all the info that we need in order to set up the story properly.

All the best going forward.
Pure truth, I will try to explain everything in Chapter 1
 
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