- Jul 19, 2017
- 72
- 80
I figured since I have no godly idea whether or not a section exists for potential written works and brain storming potential future projects not game related, I posted this here for the sake of getting feedback on a proposed story idea I've been working on, and maybe some day I might actually have it turned into a VN or later game, possibly if I have the funds and time to make it.
(I used to make concept games on RPGMaker XV years ago, but stopped if anyone's curious, never fully developed as a game developer, but I could have.)
In any case, if there's a problem with this thread can someone tell me?
Now to the story: Adventia Solis
Adventia Solis is revolving around a travelling man named Rayleigh Hawe, though his actual name is Rae Lee Hyun, and yes Korean. Ray was born in Australia though to a Korean family, living his life, he had experienced a wide variety of hardships, his family being torn apart by internal problems, money, gambling and an abusive father.
He abandoned his parents and left home for a while, until an accident claims his parents lives, he spends the rest of his youth living with his older brother and his Japanese wife who takes up being his guardian until he's old enough. Ray lived a troubled life, spending his years as a loner and a delinquent of sorts, getting into fights, smuggling drugs into school, and selling alcohol and whatever else to make money to get out of his crappy life.
Amazingly he was never actually caught red handed for doing anything particularly illegal, and he passes his grades for the most part, though not in any spectacular way. His life is mediocre afterwards, and he lives a life filled with resentment to his father, and dealing with the expectations of a brother who he looks up to, but he's not really able to fulfill.
After spending some time with depression and alcohol abuse, he's finally given an opportunity to move on, and so he does, travelling freelancer as a technical specialist in motor vehicles and machinery, he goes on to living on his own. After a couple of years, and a whole lot of travelling, he's suddenly beset by a strange event near a place at Wagga Wagga (Australia).
Having a prophecy told to him by an old Aboriginal fellow, he's sceptical of such story and travels back on the road to his place of residence in Wollongong. On the way, his motorhome along with him are suddenly displaced from anywhere he's familiar with, and he's dumped into a dense forest in the middle of literally nowhere.
And so he begins to look for a way back. Of course that's easier said than done, and he's quick to realise that he's got no means of going anywhere without petrol, aside from his solar powered tricycle and hydrogen/oxygen bike, but he doesn't wish to abandon his home. Faced with some troubling developments, he determines to find another way out.
He comes across numerous monsters and beasts which live in the forest, and quickly comes to the logical conclusion that he's nowhere in Australia or anywhere on Earth given the things he'd encountered. And being from Australia, that's saying something when you got spiders the size of plates and venonmous animals all over the place.
Figuring that he has no hope of surviving in this world on his own, he decides to go looking for signs of civilisation, and so he comes across some people, people who just got slaughtered and raped to death by other people, dressed in uniforms. Unfamiliar with the language and the fact that they had killed unarmed civilians brutally and had raped the women to death, he figures that they weren't the kind of people he wanted to be acquainted with.
He kills these people with firearms he brought along with him, he goes around discerning the situation on his observation, also tries to determine what sort of people he had encountered. From this point onwards, he figures that killing the people dressed in uniforms was erring on the side of caution, since they seemed utterly indifferent in persecuting and committing such atrocities.
For the next week and a half, he spends his time exploring and killing whatever he comes across as dangerous, after stockpilling food from caravans of uniformed soldiers, he spends his days attempting to learn the language and customs of the people he's encountering. But after gaining access to a map, he begins exploring the region beyond.
Going into some outlying towns and villages, he pushes on towards a few cities, to which he sees how the people live, and he is quick to determine that the uniformed soldiers are foreigners given the difference in language and mannerisms. They are an occupying force from another country.
After returning from his excurison, he spots a large body of horsemen in pursuit of three women, all dressed differently, a woman in uniform, a young girl, and one who sported armour of a knight. After waiting for the group to get cornered, he intervenes, killing most of the enemy troops and saving the trio.
At this point, saving those women opens up a whole lot of options for him, something he wasn't used to in his past, as saving them meant getting involved in a series of events he wasn't sure he wanted to get thrown into. But he makes his choice, and offering to help them out, he wanted something in return.
The female knight named Amelia is untrusting of his intentions and figures he's an opportunistic parasite, since he's a foreginer and there are no people who look remotely Asian in their country, and even the invaders don't resemble anything Asian. So he's faced with a somewhat difficult situation convincing the knight.
The ranger named Aphila, decides to trust him to an extent, wishing to give him the benefit of the doubt, also because she figures he's just as skilled a tracker as she is, since he snuck on her at one point. He proves himself in her eyes as someone who could get them through the difficult trip out of the forest and region to safety.
The princess known as Diana decides to trust her knight in her intuition, since it hasn't led her astray before, and also being the few people closest to her, she opts to go with Amelia's decision.
Dumping Ray at the first oppotunity they got and heading out on their own, the trio, make a beeline for the border through a town where they figured help would be. Instead they run headlong into a waiting trap set by an enemy force intended to wipe out resistance fighters.
Instead they capture the princess, and knight, while the ranger manages a getaway before getting shot by an arrow and falling into a nearby river. Bad times ahead as the knight is dragged away from her princess and brutally raped and tortured, the princess is stripped and humiliated before being taken away as a slave.
Meanwhile, Ray comes looking for the trio, he's able to find the ranger alive but wounded, he later finds out what happens as he hears about the princess being taken away by carriage. Meanwhile Amelia is set for a public spectacle before being executed the following day. Ray is faced with a dilemma, saving the princess first, or saving the knight.
He's no hero, and for the most part, he only plays his hands when possible, but faced with a world of strangeness and having no idea where to go, he must make a decision, getting further involved or not. All of his actions have consequences and effects, short and long term.
(Anyway this ends a summary of how much I've written up, if you got any critiques, please be prompt about it!)
And yeah I actually had a few pieces of artwork done for this series, you might see them in a concept piece later, I won't spoil anything yet though.
In any case I'll clarify some stuff about the world:
Yes Magic exists, and it's in the story, I can't be arsed going through all the details, but magic is a prominent thing which some people wield, and there's a strict regulation on such things. Amelia being the princess of a prominent family is able to use magic effectively.
Ray can't be affected by magic and his existence seems to repulse magic, either dispelling it or dispersing it's effectiveness.
Ray makes up for his lack of magic with technology and guns, and when I mean guns, he carries different firearms. And he can make rockets, and bombs, not to mention poison gas weapons, like chlorine gas.
The continent he's on is called Athella, and the people who invaded are Murran.
Athella is based more along the lines of Medieval Europe and Murran are actually closer to Spain, just they're more theocratic, and have a rigid system of society which is sexist towards women, unless they're noble or higher ranking.
The Muran also hate magic and are extremely racist pricks who hate other races, and there are different races and species in this fantasy world, just not included yet. They've been known to enslave elves and dwarves, and commit mass attrocities against both vieiwing them as subhuman.
(I used to make concept games on RPGMaker XV years ago, but stopped if anyone's curious, never fully developed as a game developer, but I could have.)
In any case, if there's a problem with this thread can someone tell me?
Now to the story: Adventia Solis
Adventia Solis is revolving around a travelling man named Rayleigh Hawe, though his actual name is Rae Lee Hyun, and yes Korean. Ray was born in Australia though to a Korean family, living his life, he had experienced a wide variety of hardships, his family being torn apart by internal problems, money, gambling and an abusive father.
He abandoned his parents and left home for a while, until an accident claims his parents lives, he spends the rest of his youth living with his older brother and his Japanese wife who takes up being his guardian until he's old enough. Ray lived a troubled life, spending his years as a loner and a delinquent of sorts, getting into fights, smuggling drugs into school, and selling alcohol and whatever else to make money to get out of his crappy life.
Amazingly he was never actually caught red handed for doing anything particularly illegal, and he passes his grades for the most part, though not in any spectacular way. His life is mediocre afterwards, and he lives a life filled with resentment to his father, and dealing with the expectations of a brother who he looks up to, but he's not really able to fulfill.
After spending some time with depression and alcohol abuse, he's finally given an opportunity to move on, and so he does, travelling freelancer as a technical specialist in motor vehicles and machinery, he goes on to living on his own. After a couple of years, and a whole lot of travelling, he's suddenly beset by a strange event near a place at Wagga Wagga (Australia).
Having a prophecy told to him by an old Aboriginal fellow, he's sceptical of such story and travels back on the road to his place of residence in Wollongong. On the way, his motorhome along with him are suddenly displaced from anywhere he's familiar with, and he's dumped into a dense forest in the middle of literally nowhere.
And so he begins to look for a way back. Of course that's easier said than done, and he's quick to realise that he's got no means of going anywhere without petrol, aside from his solar powered tricycle and hydrogen/oxygen bike, but he doesn't wish to abandon his home. Faced with some troubling developments, he determines to find another way out.
He comes across numerous monsters and beasts which live in the forest, and quickly comes to the logical conclusion that he's nowhere in Australia or anywhere on Earth given the things he'd encountered. And being from Australia, that's saying something when you got spiders the size of plates and venonmous animals all over the place.
Figuring that he has no hope of surviving in this world on his own, he decides to go looking for signs of civilisation, and so he comes across some people, people who just got slaughtered and raped to death by other people, dressed in uniforms. Unfamiliar with the language and the fact that they had killed unarmed civilians brutally and had raped the women to death, he figures that they weren't the kind of people he wanted to be acquainted with.
He kills these people with firearms he brought along with him, he goes around discerning the situation on his observation, also tries to determine what sort of people he had encountered. From this point onwards, he figures that killing the people dressed in uniforms was erring on the side of caution, since they seemed utterly indifferent in persecuting and committing such atrocities.
For the next week and a half, he spends his time exploring and killing whatever he comes across as dangerous, after stockpilling food from caravans of uniformed soldiers, he spends his days attempting to learn the language and customs of the people he's encountering. But after gaining access to a map, he begins exploring the region beyond.
Going into some outlying towns and villages, he pushes on towards a few cities, to which he sees how the people live, and he is quick to determine that the uniformed soldiers are foreigners given the difference in language and mannerisms. They are an occupying force from another country.
After returning from his excurison, he spots a large body of horsemen in pursuit of three women, all dressed differently, a woman in uniform, a young girl, and one who sported armour of a knight. After waiting for the group to get cornered, he intervenes, killing most of the enemy troops and saving the trio.
At this point, saving those women opens up a whole lot of options for him, something he wasn't used to in his past, as saving them meant getting involved in a series of events he wasn't sure he wanted to get thrown into. But he makes his choice, and offering to help them out, he wanted something in return.
The female knight named Amelia is untrusting of his intentions and figures he's an opportunistic parasite, since he's a foreginer and there are no people who look remotely Asian in their country, and even the invaders don't resemble anything Asian. So he's faced with a somewhat difficult situation convincing the knight.
The ranger named Aphila, decides to trust him to an extent, wishing to give him the benefit of the doubt, also because she figures he's just as skilled a tracker as she is, since he snuck on her at one point. He proves himself in her eyes as someone who could get them through the difficult trip out of the forest and region to safety.
The princess known as Diana decides to trust her knight in her intuition, since it hasn't led her astray before, and also being the few people closest to her, she opts to go with Amelia's decision.
Dumping Ray at the first oppotunity they got and heading out on their own, the trio, make a beeline for the border through a town where they figured help would be. Instead they run headlong into a waiting trap set by an enemy force intended to wipe out resistance fighters.
Instead they capture the princess, and knight, while the ranger manages a getaway before getting shot by an arrow and falling into a nearby river. Bad times ahead as the knight is dragged away from her princess and brutally raped and tortured, the princess is stripped and humiliated before being taken away as a slave.
Meanwhile, Ray comes looking for the trio, he's able to find the ranger alive but wounded, he later finds out what happens as he hears about the princess being taken away by carriage. Meanwhile Amelia is set for a public spectacle before being executed the following day. Ray is faced with a dilemma, saving the princess first, or saving the knight.
He's no hero, and for the most part, he only plays his hands when possible, but faced with a world of strangeness and having no idea where to go, he must make a decision, getting further involved or not. All of his actions have consequences and effects, short and long term.
(Anyway this ends a summary of how much I've written up, if you got any critiques, please be prompt about it!)
And yeah I actually had a few pieces of artwork done for this series, you might see them in a concept piece later, I won't spoil anything yet though.
In any case I'll clarify some stuff about the world:
Yes Magic exists, and it's in the story, I can't be arsed going through all the details, but magic is a prominent thing which some people wield, and there's a strict regulation on such things. Amelia being the princess of a prominent family is able to use magic effectively.
Ray can't be affected by magic and his existence seems to repulse magic, either dispelling it or dispersing it's effectiveness.
Ray makes up for his lack of magic with technology and guns, and when I mean guns, he carries different firearms. And he can make rockets, and bombs, not to mention poison gas weapons, like chlorine gas.
The continent he's on is called Athella, and the people who invaded are Murran.
Athella is based more along the lines of Medieval Europe and Murran are actually closer to Spain, just they're more theocratic, and have a rigid system of society which is sexist towards women, unless they're noble or higher ranking.
The Muran also hate magic and are extremely racist pricks who hate other races, and there are different races and species in this fantasy world, just not included yet. They've been known to enslave elves and dwarves, and commit mass attrocities against both vieiwing them as subhuman.
