- Mar 11, 2024
- 92
- 28
What are you favourite and most disliked cliches/tiny things in porn?
What are your favourite and most hated videos?
I don't know how 80s porns were done since I wasn't born back then, but today's "amateur & professional" videos make me sick like staring at a transgender stuck in traffic. They're neither professional neither amateur and I personally hate amateur, I already have plenty of morons in commercial TV Show Hollywood who can't handle a camera to save their lives, I don't need more of them.
Awful audio, you guys ever had real vocal sex? then why don't you ever point out how dogshit the audio is and how abysmal the moans are? there's no reverberating, no crispness, I can't tell where the noise is coming from. SWALLOW THE GODDAMN MICROPHONE. "But madam/sir
the microphone will move if we attach it to these "actors" who keep moving up and down". THEN USE A CONDENSER BO MIKE ABOVE THEM YOU CHEAPSKATES OR RECORD IT AFTERWARDS AND EDIT IN POST LIKE MOST OF YOU DO. It's not like you even bother recording the faces so lip syncing would matter, most of the reposted videos aren't even synced correctly.
Hire a voice actor already, if we're going to have a giggle then at least hire a professional clown to entertain me. C'mon Bozo the clown, honk honk. This is why only RonaldMCDonald gets hired.
Real moans aren't yells; they're deep gasps, deep sighs, groans, murmurs, yelping. It sounds like a person having a fever and dying while entering a hot bathtub or someone put snow or an icicle on your skin. Alright class what other words can you give me and what are the differences between them? A gasp inhales, correctly. A sigh exhales, good. Sighs are often used in dogshit fanfics to show a bored/lazy/emo character, very good, class.
Small tits in porn.
Seriously? you had one job, just one job and you fucked that up? It's not like she has to act or anything and the small titted one has more talent than the big titted one. Same with horror movies as usual. I laugh my ass whenever they put some skinny ass bitch with no tits & no ass and then pretend she's irresistible, bitch you'd get your head shoved in the toilet. You'd be lucky if you got raped, you're not even good to be a prostitute. For some reason comedy movies always manage to hire good looking tits. I guess comedy simply has a bigger budget ... or comedy attracts better directors & producers & actors than horror, horror is a niche for degenerates and malnourished paranoid kids fed on nothing but sugar such as HP Lovecraft.
At this point you might as well tell her to keep the push-up bra on during filming. EXTRA PADDING. At least we can pretend she has some tits. I'm not gay and neither a pedo, I don't fuck little boys and neither do I fantasize about fucking little boys & girls. I fantasize about grabbing the belt and whipping their ass and them finally listening to good music like celtic and at the very least crappy rock ballads and feelgood 2000s pop. Dubstep should have died back in the 90s or at least sounded exactly like it did in the 90s instead of the warped shit version of the 2010s. Like listening to synthwave and psychedelic , the easiest genres to fuck up. Or listening to techno hardbeat over techno trance.
And what the hell is it with ugly men in straight flicks? only gays are allowed to have beautiful men? PUT THE LOINCLOTH ON AND LET ME HEAR YOUR MOANS YOU MANSLUT. This is why patriarchy is a lie, you we never truly living in a patriarchy. Men would be adulated for their looks, not for their actions. A patriarchy would have women fawning over men and men dragging them around like the beta orbiting virgin simps cuckoos(and other words the 2020s will copy-paste with the wrong meanings) which they are. Waah wahh women won't look at me, SHOW SOME SKIN YOU MALE BITCH. Ooh look suddenly she's looking at you, dumbass. Biology > Laws. But you also refuse to go against your own biology... well today's kids kinda do but in a bad way. Only scientists truly go against biology and they'd much rather go into robotics who actually listen to reason as opposed to teaching a dog to meow and fit through tight spaces.
The problem with male moans is that they don't moan, they groan guttural sounds and yell. They don't sigh, gasp, yelp, etc. same problem with the female moans in porn.
Then there's the porn directors just like dogshit horror directors who have no clue what the hell they're doing. Oh we have a bunch of these expensive props laying around, but no idea how to use it. Oh people want it to be "natural" so let's put Keeanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving to beat the shit out of each other with no body armour beneath their fucking suits(THEY WERE WEARING SUITS, THOSE BROTHERS HAD NO EXCUSE) and to attach them to metal cords to get pulled back like Superman giving them a punch. I'm surprised they didn't make them run through the explosions and jump off tall skyscrapers as well, fucking retards.
Same deal with porn. "Oh there was a method to fake it more convincingly? I'm just a newbie" "Oh let's pretend it's all natural, not because I have 0 experience as a director and know 0 trade secrets". Some directors think they're running a goddamn brothel or they're prostitutes themselves.
I swear if they had 0 engineers then all actors would be dead. Stuntsmen sure as hell are dead.
Did it ever cross your goddamn mind that the penetration doesn't even need to happen because you can just fake it? and that means you can stop fucking filming the genitals like a goddamn poochie trying to get a scent. Yeah good thing that engineer clown came down there to teach you shmucks how to actually use his clown gear like eating a 5 foot long balloon so you retards don't actually shove a giant gummy worm down your throats and choke on it, but it's oookaaay you signed a contract that basically tells you you choked on your own accord and I had nothing to do with it. Maybe you'll learn to fake those tits too.
For some reason horror producers & directors get generic music properly(they never get themes correctly. Aliens still doesn't have its own theme).
Porn directors completely skip on music with meaning for some reason, it's at best jazzy music, calm music, relaxing music, but the most boring generic sounding one. Meanwhile Hollywood movies; DRAMATIC. You'd think porn directors would try to copy Hollywood, but unfortunately if not even TV Show directors bother copying Hollywood then why should a lowly degenerate porn director with barely 3 props and 2 "actors" a year for2 hours of footage ever bother copying & learning Hollywood's tricks? Why would they? Like asking a tax evader to buy quality paintings.
So what can I possibly expect out of these people if they can't even get the basics done correctly? Oh I want multiple camera perspectives/angles and multiple versions of the same thing where they wear clothing? leaving 1 camera on the bed not for the disorienting shake effect, but to represent the thrust's speed and depth? Heavens, how dare I??? Don't I know these people can barely afford 1 hour of filming!!!!! let alone pay for multiple takes? Quality microphones and cameras? out of these poorfags? I must be on crack. I must be insane. I must come from another world. COMMON SENSE PRACTICES? QUALITY? IN PORN? somebody give me my meds. And I'm not even complaining about bad lighting like a shallow wannabe, there's a million things more wrong than bad lighting.
I mean what can I expect when in Hollywood those jews keep pushing for brodude relationships being above straight relationships. That's right kids, go fuck your best bowling buddy in the ass because your relationship is oooh so much more intimate and easy to understand over a straight relationship with a woman which you have no hobbies in common with and you only marry her for life(not in California) cause society told you to and because you have nobody to cook for you(in Californian womens that isn't the case) , why ... sex with a woman almost feels cold, distantful, like a trade, an exchange. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE AN EQUAL INTIMATE QUALITY RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOOOOMAAN?? Don't you know a woman is like a dog or even lesser?
God I fucking hate arabs/jews like it's my destiny. I'd grab all the Californian women and shove them in Arabia and I'd take all the arabs and shove them in California.
Seriously go watch Hannibal the TV Series. I've seen some brodude propaganda in my life, but that shit takes the cake. It made the straight sex feel pathetic and normal(keyword: normal). If jews stopped pussy-footing around you'd also have some goats baaahiing in the background while the 2 main characters get it on. But Americans are all about being teased and lied to just like whores; I dress like a whore, I act like a whore, I fuck like a whore, but dear God don't you dare call me a whore(in a negative connotation) you are allowed to call me a good whore(positive connotation).
Live Action Japanese porn & Japanese cartoons.
What are you, a pedophille? If I wanted to hear screeching toddler noises I'd go to a kindergartern.
Before I knew who animes were made by ... when we used to have bad English dubbings ... I was wondering why the fuck are these white people acting like savages and why do they talk like antiintellectual artsie poetry students with the mentality of a mental retard pretending he's educated? Like a caveman reciting poetry. Till I saw who they were made by and then I understood perfectly that it's literally made by manchildren. Those awful awful baby-granny faces, that awful pale cheese skin which never saw the light of day. That obvious generational malnourishment over 10000 years because they didn't even have bread & potatoes. No wonder they look like that.
Japanese cartoons.
When I think of a cartoon, I think of Looney Tunes ... I think of Pepe Le Pew ... I think mostly about the chase and the ridiculous scenes and tiny funny skits stitched together and expertedly choreographed and the insane amount of environments/props because backgrounds are free compared to live action props. I think about the charming characters using their body language to ACT ACT GODDAMNIT ACT. The fine nuances of the voice actor expertedly maneuvering her tonality, timbre, accent, etc. the easy to recognize and memorable facial expressions with nuanced meaning behind it. The quick witted banter and 5-7 minute shorts filled with fast-paced imaginative and creative animation.
And then there's Jap cartoons ... seems like they stole UPA's idea a bit too much even though they stylized it to suit their needs. No animation, not even proper lip syncing (not like their awful language needs it), just characters sitting around staring at each other blankly, expressionless and then overemoting .. it's clear Jap cartoons copied too much from spaghetti westerns and soap operas. Spaghetti westerns are so cheap to make, just characters sitting around like mutes with those stern looking faces and then 1 overly "animated" action that lasts 5 seconds at best. There is no action in spaghetti cartoons; no chase sequences, no swordfighting, no brawling, no nothing. Very similar to detective movies where they just sit around and talk all day.
What can I possibly expect?
What are your favourite and most hated videos?
I don't know how 80s porns were done since I wasn't born back then, but today's "amateur & professional" videos make me sick like staring at a transgender stuck in traffic. They're neither professional neither amateur and I personally hate amateur, I already have plenty of morons in commercial TV Show Hollywood who can't handle a camera to save their lives, I don't need more of them.
Awful audio, you guys ever had real vocal sex? then why don't you ever point out how dogshit the audio is and how abysmal the moans are? there's no reverberating, no crispness, I can't tell where the noise is coming from. SWALLOW THE GODDAMN MICROPHONE. "But madam/sir
the microphone will move if we attach it to these "actors" who keep moving up and down". THEN USE A CONDENSER BO MIKE ABOVE THEM YOU CHEAPSKATES OR RECORD IT AFTERWARDS AND EDIT IN POST LIKE MOST OF YOU DO. It's not like you even bother recording the faces so lip syncing would matter, most of the reposted videos aren't even synced correctly.Hire a voice actor already, if we're going to have a giggle then at least hire a professional clown to entertain me. C'mon Bozo the clown, honk honk. This is why only RonaldMCDonald gets hired.
Real moans aren't yells; they're deep gasps, deep sighs, groans, murmurs, yelping. It sounds like a person having a fever and dying while entering a hot bathtub or someone put snow or an icicle on your skin. Alright class what other words can you give me and what are the differences between them? A gasp inhales, correctly. A sigh exhales, good. Sighs are often used in dogshit fanfics to show a bored/lazy/emo character, very good, class.
Small tits in porn.
Seriously? you had one job, just one job and you fucked that up? It's not like she has to act or anything and the small titted one has more talent than the big titted one. Same with horror movies as usual. I laugh my ass whenever they put some skinny ass bitch with no tits & no ass and then pretend she's irresistible, bitch you'd get your head shoved in the toilet. You'd be lucky if you got raped, you're not even good to be a prostitute. For some reason comedy movies always manage to hire good looking tits. I guess comedy simply has a bigger budget ... or comedy attracts better directors & producers & actors than horror, horror is a niche for degenerates and malnourished paranoid kids fed on nothing but sugar such as HP Lovecraft.
At this point you might as well tell her to keep the push-up bra on during filming. EXTRA PADDING. At least we can pretend she has some tits. I'm not gay and neither a pedo, I don't fuck little boys and neither do I fantasize about fucking little boys & girls. I fantasize about grabbing the belt and whipping their ass and them finally listening to good music like celtic and at the very least crappy rock ballads and feelgood 2000s pop. Dubstep should have died back in the 90s or at least sounded exactly like it did in the 90s instead of the warped shit version of the 2010s. Like listening to synthwave and psychedelic , the easiest genres to fuck up. Or listening to techno hardbeat over techno trance.
And what the hell is it with ugly men in straight flicks? only gays are allowed to have beautiful men? PUT THE LOINCLOTH ON AND LET ME HEAR YOUR MOANS YOU MANSLUT. This is why patriarchy is a lie, you we never truly living in a patriarchy. Men would be adulated for their looks, not for their actions. A patriarchy would have women fawning over men and men dragging them around like the beta orbiting virgin simps cuckoos(and other words the 2020s will copy-paste with the wrong meanings) which they are. Waah wahh women won't look at me, SHOW SOME SKIN YOU MALE BITCH. Ooh look suddenly she's looking at you, dumbass. Biology > Laws. But you also refuse to go against your own biology... well today's kids kinda do but in a bad way. Only scientists truly go against biology and they'd much rather go into robotics who actually listen to reason as opposed to teaching a dog to meow and fit through tight spaces.
The problem with male moans is that they don't moan, they groan guttural sounds and yell. They don't sigh, gasp, yelp, etc. same problem with the female moans in porn.
Then there's the porn directors just like dogshit horror directors who have no clue what the hell they're doing. Oh we have a bunch of these expensive props laying around, but no idea how to use it. Oh people want it to be "natural" so let's put Keeanu Reeves and Hugo Weaving to beat the shit out of each other with no body armour beneath their fucking suits(THEY WERE WEARING SUITS, THOSE BROTHERS HAD NO EXCUSE) and to attach them to metal cords to get pulled back like Superman giving them a punch. I'm surprised they didn't make them run through the explosions and jump off tall skyscrapers as well, fucking retards.
Same deal with porn. "Oh there was a method to fake it more convincingly? I'm just a newbie" "Oh let's pretend it's all natural, not because I have 0 experience as a director and know 0 trade secrets". Some directors think they're running a goddamn brothel or they're prostitutes themselves.
I swear if they had 0 engineers then all actors would be dead. Stuntsmen sure as hell are dead.
Did it ever cross your goddamn mind that the penetration doesn't even need to happen because you can just fake it? and that means you can stop fucking filming the genitals like a goddamn poochie trying to get a scent. Yeah good thing that engineer clown came down there to teach you shmucks how to actually use his clown gear like eating a 5 foot long balloon so you retards don't actually shove a giant gummy worm down your throats and choke on it, but it's oookaaay you signed a contract that basically tells you you choked on your own accord and I had nothing to do with it. Maybe you'll learn to fake those tits too.
For some reason horror producers & directors get generic music properly(they never get themes correctly. Aliens still doesn't have its own theme).
Porn directors completely skip on music with meaning for some reason, it's at best jazzy music, calm music, relaxing music, but the most boring generic sounding one. Meanwhile Hollywood movies; DRAMATIC. You'd think porn directors would try to copy Hollywood, but unfortunately if not even TV Show directors bother copying Hollywood then why should a lowly degenerate porn director with barely 3 props and 2 "actors" a year for2 hours of footage ever bother copying & learning Hollywood's tricks? Why would they? Like asking a tax evader to buy quality paintings.
So what can I possibly expect out of these people if they can't even get the basics done correctly? Oh I want multiple camera perspectives/angles and multiple versions of the same thing where they wear clothing? leaving 1 camera on the bed not for the disorienting shake effect, but to represent the thrust's speed and depth? Heavens, how dare I??? Don't I know these people can barely afford 1 hour of filming!!!!! let alone pay for multiple takes? Quality microphones and cameras? out of these poorfags? I must be on crack. I must be insane. I must come from another world. COMMON SENSE PRACTICES? QUALITY? IN PORN? somebody give me my meds. And I'm not even complaining about bad lighting like a shallow wannabe, there's a million things more wrong than bad lighting.
I mean what can I expect when in Hollywood those jews keep pushing for brodude relationships being above straight relationships. That's right kids, go fuck your best bowling buddy in the ass because your relationship is oooh so much more intimate and easy to understand over a straight relationship with a woman which you have no hobbies in common with and you only marry her for life(not in California) cause society told you to and because you have nobody to cook for you(in Californian womens that isn't the case) , why ... sex with a woman almost feels cold, distantful, like a trade, an exchange. HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU CAN HAVE AN EQUAL INTIMATE QUALITY RELATIONSHIP WITH A WOOOOMAAN?? Don't you know a woman is like a dog or even lesser?
God I fucking hate arabs/jews like it's my destiny. I'd grab all the Californian women and shove them in Arabia and I'd take all the arabs and shove them in California.
Seriously go watch Hannibal the TV Series. I've seen some brodude propaganda in my life, but that shit takes the cake. It made the straight sex feel pathetic and normal(keyword: normal). If jews stopped pussy-footing around you'd also have some goats baaahiing in the background while the 2 main characters get it on. But Americans are all about being teased and lied to just like whores; I dress like a whore, I act like a whore, I fuck like a whore, but dear God don't you dare call me a whore(in a negative connotation) you are allowed to call me a good whore(positive connotation).
Live Action Japanese porn & Japanese cartoons.
What are you, a pedophille? If I wanted to hear screeching toddler noises I'd go to a kindergartern.
Before I knew who animes were made by ... when we used to have bad English dubbings ... I was wondering why the fuck are these white people acting like savages and why do they talk like antiintellectual artsie poetry students with the mentality of a mental retard pretending he's educated? Like a caveman reciting poetry. Till I saw who they were made by and then I understood perfectly that it's literally made by manchildren. Those awful awful baby-granny faces, that awful pale cheese skin which never saw the light of day. That obvious generational malnourishment over 10000 years because they didn't even have bread & potatoes. No wonder they look like that.
Japanese cartoons.
When I think of a cartoon, I think of Looney Tunes ... I think of Pepe Le Pew ... I think mostly about the chase and the ridiculous scenes and tiny funny skits stitched together and expertedly choreographed and the insane amount of environments/props because backgrounds are free compared to live action props. I think about the charming characters using their body language to ACT ACT GODDAMNIT ACT. The fine nuances of the voice actor expertedly maneuvering her tonality, timbre, accent, etc. the easy to recognize and memorable facial expressions with nuanced meaning behind it. The quick witted banter and 5-7 minute shorts filled with fast-paced imaginative and creative animation.
And then there's Jap cartoons ... seems like they stole UPA's idea a bit too much even though they stylized it to suit their needs. No animation, not even proper lip syncing (not like their awful language needs it), just characters sitting around staring at each other blankly, expressionless and then overemoting .. it's clear Jap cartoons copied too much from spaghetti westerns and soap operas. Spaghetti westerns are so cheap to make, just characters sitting around like mutes with those stern looking faces and then 1 overly "animated" action that lasts 5 seconds at best. There is no action in spaghetti cartoons; no chase sequences, no swordfighting, no brawling, no nothing. Very similar to detective movies where they just sit around and talk all day.
What can I possibly expect?
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