Ren'Py - Completed - 13 Games' Project Sampler [v1.0] [_13_]

Will give my thoughts in order:

The Slayer - I wasn't sure about the concept going in but I really like how you've done the human form / daeva form and that sold me on it.

Camp Tomahawk - I don't think I would enjoy a game where all the characters are so unlikable, even if they are getting killed.

Tales of Fairies & Fantasies - "Fairy tales but pornographic" has been done to death.

Bangtown City - I'll agree with the other reviews and say I hate the mockumentary concept.

My Daughter, My Wingman - This is the concept I was most intrigued by and played first but I didn't get a good feel for how it would actually play from the sample. Also, the daughter's constant fourth wall breaking was irritating. I still like the idea of a single dad being set up by his daughter with her classmates, teachers, etc. but not sure I love the idea of it all being from her pov.

Aunt Farm - "Guy with a bunch of really young aunts who all want to bone him for some reason" is probably fine but not very original.

I hope that's helpful.

For starters, The Slayer, Camp Tomahawk and Bangtown City are just NO for me.. The stories seem quite generic and uninteresting. Of the remaining, I'll sort them on the order of Best for last.

3. My Daughter, My wingman seems like the tried and tested formula. You can't go wrong with this one. although there doesn't seem to be a core story embedded, it can be a very fun side projects. Adding the incest element will give it the much needed traction it needs.

2. Aunt farm seems interesting and can be a 3d version of " daily lives of the countyside" . nothing more to add. Aunts, farming and a lot of sex is the way to go.

1. Tales of Fairies and fantasies - The title seems very uninteresting and can be redone, but you have a potential to struck gold here.. If these are short individual stories, then absolutely a NO..
but just imagine on a larger scale.. A countryside village, there's jack and Jill and their mom, Old McDonald's getting too old and worried about his daughter and farm. Mary grazing her little lambs. twin sisters Lil miss Muffet & Tuffet, Lucy locket, Bo peep etc. Throw in Mc's mom & Sisters with some incest and this can be gold... Also, can venture out of Nursery rhymes to add more characters like red riding hood, hansel and gretel etc.

To start off, I rarely do these since I want to see what the developer is thinking and like to be part of the ride that is their imagination, but since this developer is asking for our thoughts, I figured I would take the time to go through the game and take down notes on what I thought. I know normally that you would put your best one first but I am going to do the opposite since the ones I liked, I had a bunch more notes for it then the others.

1) Starting off, Bangtown. For me, this is a very hard NO. The reality type concept of the MC talking to the audience wasn't too bad since you are not "playing" the MC but rather the audience as he boasts about his exploits. His manner of speaking, however, is horribly outdated and the same can be said for his attitude. I physically cringed when he started with the "I fucked her and her mom dawg". Slang can work in the right environment but not here. This to me seems more like short stories of his conquests than a full story. This is one that I wouldn't mind seeing not being developed, sorry dev.

2) Next is the Camp. Having a horror mixed with sex is not a bad idea, even if the concept is the same as a popular movie. The execution, however, could have been done better. The nerdy counselor, he goes against what the beginning was said when the campers were attracted to the counselors. If you changed the opening to "most" of the counselors, it could work or switched it to him still being good looking and doing the same but not participating in the bet, that could also work. Unfortunately, his very existence contradicts your setting of the counselors being murdered because of what they were doing and they all being good looking.
The first counselor you meet, his attitude works with this setting but it just seems kind of far fetched that even the female counselors are so openly involved. Its too risky for the camp director to find out what they are doing. Having them participating more discreetly would make more sense, at least to me. The one telling the story, if I'm not mistaken, said she was the only survivor. If that was true, why are the other campers murdered when they are the victims? Also, if that is true, why is she a counselor at the very same camp that had everyone murdered while she was there? She would be scarred for life. Instead, you could have the setting of her in an appointment with a psychologist or in an interview with a paper recounting her time at the camp years later.
As a final thought, I wasn't sure which direction you were thinking about with the killer. From the sounds of it, it's a Native American. My thought was, while he is witnessing these activities going on, he could have quick flashbacks of his tribe being attacked and his kin being raped, both young and old. That could be the reason why he went on a spree, or, you could not do that and just leave it as a mystery as to why he even did such a thing. Personally, not a fan of horror so I probably wouldn't pick this back up if it gets finished. I do like the concept that you get to take control of the different counselors and the killer, almost having the player make their own story. This could result in no two being alike and each being unique to the player with multiple endings.

3) Slayer is next. This one surprised me. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did. There have been multiple modern day fantasy concepts but I think this one works the best. Having the Daevas coexist with humans like this is wonderful. The idea of only seeing their true form in 1st person blew my mind a little bit. In short, a fan of the general idea.
However, the MC seems to suppose to be mysterious but he is more talkative than I would imagine. Other than that, I really can't think of anything else that I would criticize.
I would like to spitball some ideas though. Deavas having a secret organization to try to be in control of the humans seems like a direction you could go. Having other slayers with different personalities, having other mythological creatures in play, such as centaurs and harpies or even some kind of dragonkin. Maybe even having some Deavas being a part of resistance to go against the ones trying to take control but does not want to any help from the slayers. I do like that he actually helped the caitsith, I first thought that she could somehow become his companion and help the slayer for one reason or another. This story could have multiple possibilities.

4) Coming up next is the Fantasies and Fairies. Having different short stories of nursery rhumes, fables, fairy tales, and the like with the sexual twist attracts me. I don't want to comment too much on this because I would like to see where the developer goes with each story. I also like how the movement was with Jack and Jill. A lot of animated VN's isn't smooth but more like 2-3 frames on repeat. It just looks like they are going at 10 FPS instead of smooth motion. Kudos to that, though, I am also a fan of sound, it doesn't have to have any voice actors but I enjoy at least hearing moaning. It makes the story a little more alive but that is my own personal opinion. The only other thing I would say is you could take a poll of what story to do next, such as Little Red Riding Hood, Hanzel and Gretel, Little Bo Peep, Etc.

5) Now, the last 2, I have quite a few notes that I am going to try to convey as best as I could. Coming up next is Aunt's Farm. I don't think you need to change anything on him. Aunt Anna as well, though, personally, with his height, I wouldn't mind seeing her being a bit taller. Keep her figure, she has a beautiful and sexy figure but I personally would enjoy seeing her with a little bit more hieght. Also, I don't mind her having an attraction to the MC but I feel it is out of place with her being so straight forward with it. I feel like it would work better if she was still flirty but in a joking way to see how he will take it and be more reserved about wanting to be intimate as she is trying to control her impulses and trying not to go out of control on him. Ex: Her shirt being see through, you could have it so that she wore it on purpose to see how he would react before and after their chores are done. Also, her taking her shirt off, she could have done that out of habit while working on the farm since it was just the grandfather before, realizing she did in front of him and try to act coy to see the flustered face of the MC.
I do like the way Lilyanne's model was made. I would personally like to see no changes to her what so ever, instead, have her be the one that is more outgoing. The setting could even be that both Aunt's have a bet going on to see who can swoon the MC over the other.
You did mention that there could be other characters so I came up with some suggestions: (>=Start of one bullet, ~=Under the topic with >, +=Under the topic with ~)
Having another Aunt:
~2nd oldest
~Business Women
~Only comes to visit after the loss of the grandfather
~Decides to take a postition with the same company she works for but in a town closest to the farm.
~Gets pulled in the bet with the other Aunts
~Single mother
~Daughter didn't want to move and is curt towards the family members. Warms up to the idea after hanging out with MC.
>Grandmother
~Still attractive
~Wants to have a little fun since she doesn't know how much longer she will have.
>General Store
~Family owned
~Good friends with with MC's family
~Son at school in city
~Daughter helps around the store
>Local police force (for some added drama)
~Depending on who you meet, could be a jerk or nice
~Have the Chief be part of the nice category
~Possibly have female officer
These are different ideas I came up with as I was reviewing this particular demo. As you can see, this story could open up a whole new world since we are in the setting of a farming community. I would like to see this one get worked on and would like to look forward to what the developer has in story for us.

6) Last but not least, My Daughter, My Wingman. I am a fan of this kind of kink. I know I am going to hell. This setting is my favorite by far compared to the others. So far, I don't see anything that would need changing. Just like Aunt's Farm, I do have some ideas I would like to express.
>Daughter
~Possibly able to edit her name
~Has a "secret" club involving other characters
>Club
~Daughter
~Best Friend
+A little more out going
~Bookworm
+Stickler to rules (pressured by parents)
+Secretly has naughty side
~Athlete/Gymnist
+Because of character, doesn't really fit in to others other than the members of the club
~Rocker
+Friends with the other club members to escape home drama
+Discover later on both the MC and her have same taste in music
+Rocker hair style and dyed
~Cousin (to daughter, Niece to MC)
+Shy
+Introverted
+Tries to be respectable and proper
+Very curious in sexual relations
>Sister (to MC)
~A little bit of a drinker
~Extraverted
~Somewhat of a daredevil
~Some tattoos
~Kind of opposite of daughter with some characteristics that are the same
>Brother
~Single
~Trying to get MC to go out and move on
~Speedbump to daughters plans unknowingly
>Coffee Shop
~Barista
+Likes older men
+Upon finding out where MC works, trying to get hired with same company
>Teacher
~Neighbor from down the street
~Has attraction to MC
~Uses excuse to be a tutor to the daughter to come to the house
>Boss's Wife
~Finds out Boss cheated on her
~Has no evidence so trying to get revenge by sleeping with MC
As you can see, this story has much more potential to create many different scenerios. It doesn't have to take place in a city per say but could be in a large town. With the MC no knowing what is going on around him, many situations could arise that would be very favorable in having him getting lucky. I would definately like to see better motion in this story tied along with some moans during the intimate scenes.

This is the end of my reviews/ideas/suggestions. I don't mind if none of my ideas get used, like I said before, I like to just experience the game the developer has conceived through their creativity and imagination.

First I'll give general points of view of each demo and then I'll talk about their merits by themselves and their future as a full game. Finally, I'll talk about my favorites, and the ones that SHOULD be made.

To start, the order I picked was based on what I thought I would like least to best. It surprised me how wrong I was.

1. The Slayer

The Slayer story was fairly interesting. It had an MC who was the antihero type, but he seemed a good guy in general and protected people. That was a nice touch. The renders were good. The bad part was the confusing moments where the characters are suddenly animal like and then they are full humans. I was confused the entire time until 13’s analog said it was because of the perspective. If I had known ahead of time, I might have liked it, but as it stands, it was very distracting.
4/5


2. Fairy Tale

The Fairy Tale one had good renders. But man do I hate rape stories. This one was all about it. However, I’ll say that when Jack does it, at least there is a feeling that Jill also liked it. If you choose to just get a kiss, it’s pretty wholesome. HOWEVER, if you choose NOT to help her, she gets raped by the town rapist (Think Borat) and it ends in tragedy for Jill with her having to have his baby and is depressed her whole life… if this doesn’t’ give an NTR vibe, I don’t’ know what will.

I'd give it 4/5 but if you consider the “bad end” maybe a 3 or 2 out of 5.
So I'll go with 3/5

3. Bangcity Bang Bang

The Bangcity Club or whatever is called is MEGA CRINGE with MC’s narration. Sounds like a dude bro with maximum gag in his voice. “Yo BRO! I just fucked that young teen. It was fucking sick duhhhdd!”

The exposition told in dude bro made me tired of it in less than 2 lines.

Also “I own this bitch!”

I’d pay for 13 NOT to make this a game… Jesus…

0/5


4. Camp Tomahawk

Yeah, so Camp Tomahawk is just a Friday the 13th ripoff. I’m sorry if I sound harsh, but 13 even admits it in the game. The biggest thing is that it’s about rape and punishment I suppose. The point is that you have a bunch of unlikeable character abusing/lying to a young woman (more than one?) and the killer will end up killing a bunch of them? I don’t know. Either way, that wasn’t a pleasant experience for me.

2/5, I want to give it less than that, but i don't want my bias to the unpleasantness to overwhelm the rest of it. so 2/5 stands

5. Aunt Farm

The Aunt Farm game was a LOT better than the rest I’ve played, maybe spare the Slayer one. That one was closer. This one had better characterization, the little that can be put into a demo/prologue. I’m not a fan of how fast Anna turned to MC. I’m sure in the full game there would be a better balance. At least I hope so. Also, I’m a big fan of Anna’s model. Not a huge fan of the other aunt, she’s okay I guess passing as the smol of the group I guess.

4.5/5

6. My Daughter My Wingman

I’m saving the best for last, I hope this one is good.

My daughter my Wingman… let’s hope this one is good.

Okay right off the bat, I like the DAUGHTER model. I thought it was the girl on the couch at first, but the actual daughter is MUCH better and more unique. The pacing in particular felt the most natural even in a demo. There is a lot of exposition and I hope that is just for the demo's sake cause I think it can be done well in the narrative portion.
5.5/5


Part 2 analyze their merits as a whole.

I'm gonna be honest, I think some of these are completely half baked. And some have more thought put into them than others. Bangcity is literally almost the exact same as another game.

Let's start with

The Slayer:

This one has one of the most potential of all the rest of them, but I hope that 13 can do a better job of explaining concepts to the readers. I was so confused by the initial perspective shots and it took me out of the game. Twists of perspects I'm a HUGE fan of. NOT if they actively confuse the audience though. Not a bad way forward, but I think there others on this list that can be bumped up in priority.

The Fairy Tales:
This one is probably the one I'd least want to get made. It's really just a catch all game that will just have a bunch of fantasy stuff and bestiality. It seems the most that doesn't fit my taste. Don't get me wrong, if not for the bestiality angle, I'd be more on board, but yeah, it was heavily referenced in the demo so it's a no go for me. Also, it seems that it also dips into Raep stuff and though some people like that, literally all of these stories seem they are gonna be non-con, it's at least implied by 13 in the demo at the end.

Bangcity Whatever the next word is:

This game is the one with the least effort placed in it. It's also the worst execution. It's just the douche MC talking to the audience about "Yo dawg, I fucked this btich and I'm gonna fuck her daughter brawwwwwww" No one deserves this game and 13 should be ashamed of it (JOKE) If this game won over everyone I'd give up on humanity.

Camp Tomahawk is just a rapey counselors abusing YOUTHS. It was really gross to see honestly. There wasn't any kind of trigger warning saying "This game might contain coercion, manipulation, raep. You've been warned." Add that next time 13 please

What I'll say about the potential is that it'll be multiprotagonist and most of them will be rapey and then there will be karmic retribution in the shape of an "Indian" man as it's used in the opening. "Native American" I mean... Weird lines.

Aunt Farm

This one is one that COULD work, but I think I'd rather 13 take the model of Anna and move her into the last game I'll mention cause this one feels a bit farfetched. I don't even see what the appeal would be. If in the first scene MC is already basically flirting openly with both family members "aunts" about being naked together and kissing one of them topless, there isn't much to build up to. That's just my opinion anyway.

Lastly, let's talk about My daughter my wingman or whatever its' called. It's good. I love the daughter model and it seems to be a slower corruption building game..The pacing of the demo gives me good feelings for what's to come in the future. So yeah., soooooooo

Alright so, this is clearly 13’s next game. It's also on brand for 13. We all know that he does great with wholesome games. The Fosters was a cool attempt, but I think the darkness killed the plotting of the game, so I hope this game takes more of an island level of wholesome. That's what 13 shines in i believe.

Either way, I'm glad I played this, but I really think it's clear that My Daughter My Wingman fits the best. Some of the others feel too edgy. The former just feels right.