VN Ren'Py A Foreign World [Ep. 5.5] [HighbornTiger]

4.30 star(s) 60 Votes

TiffanyMonroe

Forum Fanatic
May 29, 2018
5,766
13,793
It's even worse than that, yet the MC look like a scared little girl who can't bed a LI because it's "no full consent" even when everyone tell him it's all good & green... either the MC or the Dev get traumatised by older similar events...
imo that just very bad writing & have nothing to do in a Adult game where consent is all but relative (protagonists are here for 1 purpose no matter the plot, have sex with each others)...
If it was a 1 time thing at least, but the MC keep being stuborn about it & it's very boring.
I've seen more and more games where the dev has the retarded mc say "are you sure" when she is naked and saying fuck me. So annoying.
 

Silentdeath8

Member
Nov 3, 2017
159
169
The MC constantly gets his ego stroked by everybody telling him how great and strong and badass he is. We've got super-powered interdimensional women, who shoot lasers from their eyes, but our MC is so cool, because he totally could have dodged that knife, while he kept on monologing like a Detective Conan parody at the same time. I don't know how the power fantasy could get more on-the-nose...
Where have you see me writing about his physicals or mental capacity ? i talk only about his relation with opposed sex, never about his fighting/detective skills...

But, sure, he's a scared little girl, because the story keeps on getting in the way of the fap material. Who cares about consent (yikes), even if it is a major point of the worldbuilding. In fact, who cares about the plot anyway. Should've pegged the big bad sorcerer guy right away like a true dom and anime protagonist using only 10% of his power. Is anything else even worth self-inserting?
You have a Death's valey (if not a milky-way) between going full Rape/"i don't care about consent" & the actual MC who act like a basic japan's virgin girl in a anime...
 

Silentdeath8

Member
Nov 3, 2017
159
169
Who's the virgin character of this game?
Pretty much all of them, except Fiona, Cecilia, and the MC
A bit of blood whould have come in handy for Sue if she was a virgin (& potentially the others too)... after it's a matter of tastes... nothing that a blood option in preferences menu can't deal with...
I'm aware of the multiples excuses/posibility for a girl to lost her hymen without having sex, but still...

on another note: +1 for "normal" cock instead of the "basic Porn-star" cock
 
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punisher2099

Forum Fanatic
Feb 25, 2020
4,019
9,176
Are people not paying attention to the dialogue? He doesn't want to do anything with the girls because he thinks it will be because they think its owed to him. I'm honestly glad its not another drooling pervert mc for once.
LOL I was looking forward to the mc explaining that epiphany he had about the energy and matter conversion of the abilities.
 

OptimusCrime

Member
May 26, 2022
118
274
Yeah there’s a bit more depth of thought that this mc has. He’s definitely an older, experienced and intelligent dude. He has inner turmoil and like others have said he doesn’t want to do it cause they feel like they owe him. Shit it’s literal my explained in game when he talks with one of the girls and explains the situation to him before your first time with Sue. Thank god it isn’t a Cumbrain mc pervert for once those games are a dime a dozen. I genuinely enjoy the story of this aVn. And I mean we are progressing with getting into the other girls so it’s all cool beans. Can’t wait for aurora action
 
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Dripping

Well-Known Member
Feb 16, 2019
1,354
3,347
Agree with the two above me. The whole point of these first three episodes, as well as probably the next two or three episodes, is to make sure the girls understand they have freedoms and options in this world which they didn't have in their own world, while making them aware of dangers as well as things that may be expected from them in this world which they are not used to in their own world (primarily STD's and mortgages, both of which an evil MC could explain as practical safety reasons to stick with him, but obviously, that's not in line with the MC's personality, while some of the girls could perhaps reason themselves to that conclusion)
 

Derpyshanks

Member
Jul 14, 2021
307
516
If I plan on rejecting all the girls from the other earth, am I gonna get some shit ending? :unsure:

Is my MC gonna end up homeless on the streets or something dumb when its all said and done? :ROFLMAO:
 

somewherexxx

Newbie
Jun 15, 2023
46
70
No, they look fairly horrible. I don't like them either, but if I make them less visible, then they no longer serve their purpose.

Also, yes, they are new. Same as those transitions which tell you the day and the time. The orange border is because people complained that it's not obvious when they can lean back and wait for the game and when they have to to click forward themselves.
Maybe consider just using yellow border and not that big white bottom thingy.It stands out a lot and kinda pokes the eyes.
--Ah i see u say people dont see that? Hm, dunno i played on big tv only it was huge , unmissable

P.S
for my self i used to create character portraits , it was bit confusing when multiple people talk and are not shown on screen or image not pointing at them to figure out who is talking. For the last 3 portraits i figured out that you had made them yourself but for another purpose so i reused them.
Anyway , maybe consider adding them to base game? It gives reader more immersion and easier to familiarize with characters and story.

P.P.S
I do not know how mc's house is designed and for how many people :LOL: but maybe an upgrade to shower boiler is in order , unless mc prefers broken bones due to lack of hot water :rolleyes:
 
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HighbornTiger

Sizable Pianissimo M*C^2
Game Developer
Sep 7, 2018
524
1,731
Maybe consider just using yellow border and not that big white bottom thingy.It stands out a lot and kinda pokes the eyes.
--Ah i see u say people dont see that? Hm, dunno i played on big tv only it was huge , unmissable
I kind of already did that for the next update before reading your comment. Yeah, I fear that people will miss it, but if so, they will surely point that out. I can always reverse it to the white thingy :D

Also, I never thought too much about character portaits, so my textbox design doesn't leave much room for them. Idk. I might try something in the future since I can see the problem.
 
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somewherexxx

Newbie
Jun 15, 2023
46
70
I kind of already did that for the next update before reading your comment. Yeah, I fear that people will miss it, but if so, they will surely point that out. I can always reverse it to the white thingy :D

Also, I never thought too much about character portaits, so my textbox design doesn't leave much room for them. Idk. I might try something in the future since I can see the problem.
I have used Transparent universal mod for your and all other games. It cleans ui and it really fits good to eyes.
Many developers included it in their own games. Penford Mole is solid person i believe two of you can easily make it work out.
Just saying :giggle:

P.S
Here is quick whipup just dirty photoshop made portraits from renders. It's just sample example. You can do much better since u have actual models ;)
(includes script which changes and adds portraits to characters.)
 
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somewherexxx

Newbie
Jun 15, 2023
46
70
Hello , again.
I am bit baffled by one thing. I ran into a point in story where MC tries to copy first ability , Cecilia shows with others, but ..it went bit weird. Shouldnt she be something like "WTF is goin on"?
I mean as i saw so far, she wasnt aware of any magical thingy being available to MC, Nor did she knew anything about 'copy' stuff. Natural reaction would be to at least rise concern and or ask questions?
Ofc, there is a chance that she learned from girls, but still, that is kinda humongous thing, just to learn the existence of magic and she didnt said a word, especially now that it is available to normal human being.
It raises concerns in me , that she was just too silent.
 
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HighbornTiger

Sizable Pianissimo M*C^2
Game Developer
Sep 7, 2018
524
1,731
I have used Transparent universal mod for your and all other games. It cleans ui and it really fits good to eyes.
Many developers included it in their own games. Penford Mole is solid person i believe two of you can easily make it work out.
You can already turn the textbox invisible in my game as it is, and I made it more functional for the upcoming update. You do that by simply pressing the H button/changing a setting under preferences.

I'll probably add a simple portrait option that you can also switch on in your settings tab. I think that would be the best. It might not be in the next update, but it will come eventually. It's something I would like to experiment with.



Also, people being too relaxed when learning about magic is something that was already pointed out for MC himself. I'm not sure but I can't see MC or Cecilia freak out in these instances.
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somewherexxx

Newbie
Jun 15, 2023
46
70
Also, people being too relaxed when learning about magic is something that was already pointed out for MC himself. I'm not sure but I can't see MC or Cecilia freak out in these instances.
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Not freak out literally, but reaction. It's something extraordinary and her not reacting at all and not even discussing it with MC raises questions about her. It's a sign of trust if she would open up and ask questions instead of being silent and behave like nothing happened. There were already questions about her loyalty and this just puts even more questions. That's all i am saying.
 
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Griffihn

Newbie
Aug 20, 2022
83
95
Not freak out literally, but reaction. It's something extraordinary and her not reacting at all and not even discussing it with MC raises questions about her. It's a sign of trust if she would open up and ask questions instead of being silent and behave like nothing happened. There were already questions about her loyalty and this just puts even more questions. That's all i am saying.
i don't know for how much realism HighbornTiger is going for but as far as special operators go, he's pretty spot on.
Considering all the shit i've been through in a decade on the field and about 8 years behind a desk, if you were to put aliens, demons, archwizards and God in front of me, right now, i wouldn't bat an eye. i'd simply ask "can i kill them?" and "how?". i'm not insane, i don't have PTSD (not from my engagements, at least) and i'm far from being the bravest soul out there. it's just that the stuff you go through in the field, in real life, would give batman PTSD. and no, i'm not joking. when you're stuck in the middle of nowhere with winter gear and it's 30C+ and you stick out from your surroundings like a flashlight in the dark with nothing but a single knife and 5 enemy combatants, and you manage to survive, trust me, a girl that can do magic is pretty much "just tuesday". so, considering that Cecillia is a special operator, who by definition (and a lot of training) show no emotion near either assets or targets so as to always be in a position of power and trust, her reaction, or lackthereof, is actually pretty normal. add to that the fact that the MC is somewhat friendly towards them and is by no means scared or even phased by any of it and she "knows" some of his past, she will act the same, mainly to not undermine him. not sure if this is what the dev went for but this is how i see it based on actual experience. i'm by no means an expert, just someone that knows what that life is like.
hope this helps.
 

trauts

Active Member
Aug 12, 2018
734
545
You can already turn the textbox invisible in my game as it is, and I made it more functional for the upcoming update. You do that by simply pressing the H button/changing a setting under preferences.
H usually hides the text as well, but not in this case (Ep 3).
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in 2.5:
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Sep 6, 2021
58
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I can't decide whether to give this 4 or 5 stars, so I won't, at least until future updates. There is a lot to like about it - most of the girls, most of the story -, but I'm a negative asshole and am going to talk about the things I don't like. That's my MO at the best of times, so don't interpret this as a negative view of the game; if you don't want constructive criticism, stop reading...
First, there are several random typos and grammatical errors. Do they ruin the game? No, but they do make it look like an unfinished product. Which I guess it is, but I still think it's important for someone to review the script and clean it up. Then there are a bunch of single frame flashbacks, and lacking context they are really confusing.
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Most importantly, I think, is the beginning. The narrator gives way too much description about things like group dynamics and individual powers, and that just isn't quality writing. Not only is it awkward and borderline condescending, it adds seperation between the player's perspective and that of the MC, which I think is undesirable in this sort of game. It gets better quickly, but it was almost enough for me to stop playing at the start. I'm glad I didn't, as the game is very good.
 
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HighbornTiger

Sizable Pianissimo M*C^2
Game Developer
Sep 7, 2018
524
1,731
H usually hides the text as well, but not in this case (Ep 3).
Fixed in Episode 3.1
It's still not back to the usual renpy dynamic, but you can now switch between three states (fully visible, only text visible, and nothing visible)


amandressedlikeabat
I rely on others to check my work for me since English is only my second language. I don't pay these people, so I don't expect them to do their part 100% perfectly. The thing about the narrator has been mentioned before. I might rewrite those in the future. Are you referring to the very beginning, when the nine girls talk among themselves, or does it reach further into the game (There are some lines in your conversation with Tracy before you meet Nathaniel that you could be referring to)
Also, thanks for 4/5. I'm sure this rating will go up with future updates.
 
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Sep 6, 2021
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Are you referring to the very beginning, when the nine girls talk among themselves, or does it reach further into the game
It's the beginning mostly, although there are a few later lines of narration that I think should be changed as well.

I figured English probably wasn't your first language, given that the overall quality of the writing is quite good. But it would've been awkward if I assumed it was the case, but you're actually just from [insert US state to make fun of here].
I decided to do a full writeup of the writing on the first 3 episodes. I'm not going to assume you want it, but I think it could be helpful. At the very least, you'd definitely benefit from the grammar notes. It's longer than I think is appropriate for one of these comments. If you'd like, I can message it to you (although I'm not actually sure how to do that), or upload it as an attachment so it doesn't dominate the page for everyone else.

Also, I decided on 5 stars.
 

HighbornTiger

Sizable Pianissimo M*C^2
Game Developer
Sep 7, 2018
524
1,731
I'm not going to assume you want it
I always want feedback.

There are a couple of ways to give it to me. Either you can start a conversation on f95, which would be like private messaging, and add it as an attachment there. I sometimes use Discord to keep in contact with a couple of people that read through my work, so that would be an option. Or you can just post it here in public. There are no conversations going on that would be ripped apart by a long post.
 
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4.30 star(s) 60 Votes