- Aug 20, 2022
- 93
- 105
take what i say with however much skepticism as you want: the whole brooding special operator background you are trying to build for your character is good, but you may want to put in a sort of dream/nightmare to show flashes of what he went through, preferably at the beginning of the story. having a know-it-all for mc looses its charm very fast without a proper explanation. also, do another round of spellchecking, especially after the villain shows up. i've found 3 mistakes. don't take that as bad but as very good. no clue who checks your text but they're doing a great job! other than this, great job! you've managed to pique an interest in a genre that's rarely done well. please, don't mess it up!