A little question about writing sentences?

[Redhunter357]

Hi guys! I'm having some questions or rather doubts about writing sentences?



Question number 1

* Do I have to split sentences that have more than 20 words in them for easier reading?

Example 1 :-

Player:- "Sonia, did you call me for anything that you need my help with?"
Sonia :- "Sure, darling, I just forgot to bring my sunscreen with me. Will you be a dear and get it for me, please? (22 words.) " (A)
Sonia :- "It's in the laundry room as I recall."

Do I have to split it like this for better understanding:

player:- "Sonia, did you call me for anything that you need my help with?"
Sonia:- "Sure, darling, I just forgot to bring my sunscreen with me." (B)
Sonia:- "Will you be a dear and get it for me, please? "
Sonia :- "It's in the laundry room as I recall."

Here's another example on what I'm talking about.

Example 2 :-

Liara "Now do you want me to give you a hand job? Or a smooth blow job? What's it going to be?(21 words.)" (A)

or this?

Liara "Now do you want me to give you a hand job? Or a smooth blow job?" (B)
Liara "What's it going to be?"

Can anyone launder me some advise regarding this tiny problem that I'm having.

And as for my dialogue writing, I'm well aware that it's not that good, and I'm fine with that, because my upcoming game will be more of a slow burn/corruption game with some real-time interactivity and top-notch renders, so I'm not looking to attract anyone over my barely average writing.

Imagine a game similar to Corruption by Mr.C. but with high-end Daz graphics, decent animations, and way more real-time interactivity.

Any help will be greatly appreciated.

 

[FromOtherSpace]

None of your sentences are 20+ words. A sentence end with a dot.

Liara "Now do you want me to give you a hand job? Or a smooth blow job? What's it going to be?(21 words.)" (A

There is 3 sentences here.

In my opinion, twenty words is not an high count for a sentence, unless the writer doesn't use any punctuation. (20 words)

This will not help but lines lenght, good typo (font, space between lines, contrast between text and its background, etc) and proper punctuation are more important, for understanding as for reading confort, than an arbitrary count per sentence.


As an advice : Focus on the feeling you want to give and try to write as the character would speak. One shy dude may use as few words as possible to say how he feel while an other dude, with same feeling, could speak for minutes. Also their backgrounds/life should "show" when they speak.

 

[BzPz]

This will not help but lines lenght, good typo (font, space between lines, contrast between text and its background, etc) and proper punctuation are more important, for understanding as for reading confort, than an arbitrary count per sentence.

Agreed.
How text is represented influences the readability as much as (if not more than) what the actual words are.

As an advice : Focus on the feeling you want to give and try to write as the character would speak. One shy dude may use as few words as possible to say how he feel while an other dude, with same feeling, could speak for minutes. Also their backgrounds/life should "show" when they speak.

Also agreed.

 

[Redhunter357]

None of your sentences are 20+ words. A sentence end with a dot.

There is 3 sentences here.

In my opinion, twenty words is not an high count for a sentence, unless the writer doesn't use any punctuation. (20 words)

This will not help but lines lenght, good typo (font, space between lines, contrast between text and its background, etc) and proper punctuation are more important, for understanding as for reading confort, than an arbitrary count per sentence.


As an advice : Focus on the feeling you want to give and try to write as the character would speak. One shy dude may use as few words as possible to say how he feel while an other dude, with same feeling, could speak for minutes. Also their backgrounds/life should "show" when they speak.

Thanks for your wonderful tips From other space.

 

[woody554]

if you want the story to flow quickly, use short sentences. if you want it to feel slow, blather on walls of text.

mostly in these games, and everywhere, you'll want things to flow fast.

but, if you wanted to for example show a time freeze or extreme slowdown, cramming walls of text between renders of a punched mc falling down would make it seem to take forever.