My problem is that the more I think about it, the more it hurts my brain and my soul as an amateur writer. Look, I'm never gonna win any awards, and I'm a dude that faps to some of the stuff here just like any of you all here.
But this story is already FUBAR and it's only just beginning.
The "parallel universe" just screams lazy to me. You basically use the same resources that you've made to express them in a new way. How many universes are you going to be plowing your mom while running from this thingamabob that wants you dead for getting there accidentally? Pay some money next month to find out!
It's a dead end story wise IMO. Reason being is that with a mirror world or dream world, I can start thinking that it's your psyche or a reflection of your desires which affects the real world. But with a parallel universe with multiple options, the amount of BS you need to justify this goes up exponentially. Why the hell is that at the bottom of a lake? What the hell is guarding it? How did it get there? What happens to escapees on any side? Why can it happen? Some sort of Jungian response could be plausible with the first two. But with the third, it just gets worse.
The sinister aspect gives way to cynicism about the product and that makes me less invested because my suspension of disbelief is just gone. I don't know the consequences for all this but as agreed, there's just not enough story to really make this something I want to invest in. At least right now.
Seriously, I could just go through the story and pick it apart in a very, very, VERY, detailed fashion and how rushed it is, but I'd rather people enjoy what's there. As it stands, it's just way too much, way too soon, and makes me sigh three times, throw back a cold one, and move to the next game because I have few doubts it can really be fixed and will only get worse from here.
