- Oct 13, 2016
- 24
- 33
The Good
Pretty good overall. I like all of the new scenes -- they feel more confident and showy in the writing. They're fun! The new transition 'stages' with Kiara are absolutely fantastic and really convey a sense of scale and time in overcoming major issues. Good stuff all the way in that case, too. The Blaire ones are pretty kawaii -- strong yandere vibes in a cute and humorous manner. I really liked the movie-watching with Kiara too. Good characterization of Blaire, but it does set up something of a problem that I'll comment on later.
I like the Sam dialogue. He does most of the heavy lifting for the backstory of the game and setting, so having him available for questions seems like a decent narrative device. Still waiting for him to be more funny on the index page, but I guess that would undercut the usefulness of it as well as presenting your own mind as sacrosanct. Although, honestly, that doesn't seem like much of an issue given Kiara's arc. I'm also not sure if there was intended to be a scene where you tell Kiara not to do that for Sam's sake and I missed it? The only time I saw it be relevant was in testing Kiara's hypnogear and MC just offhandedly mentions it can't be tested on him. Kiara seems like she understands why, but I don't recall telling her why at any point in the narrative.
Setting up for all the new systems is obvious, even if they don't do much. The Phone UI is good, and the presentation of it as a mission control device is quick and easy to understand. I take issue with he actual balancing of the numbers, but that will be next session. The shops are pretty easy to get to, look at, and understand.
I really, really liked the interactivity created from the messages where one girl notices you doing something and comments. In a game that mostly consists of the player planning out what they're going to do on a schedule, getting a message is always a nice break and adds a lot to the characterization. It's a breath of fresh air from the grindy aspects. I don't know how cumbersome those are to add, but I think you should shove 'em in where ya can.
The Bad
Overall there's not much in this section per se, but I feel like I need to speak up before things get to far. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to split the girls down two paths. I'm not sure how long the plot of the game is intended to go (or if that is, explicitly, 'until I get bored of making it') -- but doubling up the writing work necessary for scenes may be an annoying hurdle later on as the game gets more developed. Having to write two scenes for every post-split activity, and account for those variable reactions in any scene that the character is involved in, seems like it could be an exponential problem unless you're just willing to bite a narrative bullet and have these pretty distinct personality changes not matter very much.
The Dedicated Blair sunbathing w/ Kiara, event, for example, simply doesn't make much sense given your own set-up. It's clear that she doesn't like you being with other women from the very outset of the route. That's fine. That's the choice that was made and it's clear when it's being made. Dedicated Blaire might also know that you're sleeping with Kiara given the text she sends you after jogging. Unless the intent of the scene was to show Blaire 'taking back control' or otherwise displaying an ulterior motive in line with her 'dedicated' nature, having her suggest Kiara come over to sunbathe is just a bizarre break in character that seems to be generated out of a sense of 'fairness' to having two routes.
I mean, I'm all for having a Dedicated route where you continue to fuzz her brain and get her to accept and enjoy being one of your harem members. That's hot and stuff, but it gets more into a 'having your cake and eating it too' that undercuts the entire point of the choice presented to us. It's also something that FWB Blaire cannot have scenes with, because she's already down with it. So now we'd have to have this whole rabbit hole to make sense of Dedic!Blaire to have any scene with any other female character when the issue is generated by FWB!Blaire presumably having these scenes in galore.
So, I hope this is illustrating why I think having two routes for characters is kind of a dangerous thing to start in on. Lots of variables, lots of oddities being generated, etc.
I also get that this is pretty much a direct result of Blaire being a 'test' character as well -- she's going to be done and finished very early on with few gating-mechanics from other characters. This is going to leave her somewhat unmoored from the game-state of other characters as a result of there being no reasonable way to design 'when' she should be at each stage in other character's stories. Maybe this is a uniquely Blaire issue... but given the potential length of the game, I don't think it will be. Just food for thought -- I don't think this has risen to the level of an actual problem in the game. Just thought I'd express it now and put it out there to chew on.
Another aspect of 'having & eating the cake' is also the start of your super-career with Kiara while also having Sam in your head. It seems hard to justify the whole 'learning the ropes' narrative when the MC has an experienced and knowledgeable supervillian in his head that he can freely question. Hell, the first part of the game is MC getting lessons -- even if Sam can't do his whole dog and pony show b/c of his limited energy, advising the duo seems like it would be pretty within reach. But that undercuts the entire New Supers plotline that you seem to be setting up. I dunno, it just seems like it would be odd not to involve Sam in the process, especially given that it risks his life, but that risks tampering with the intimacy and development of the Kiara plotline. I really don't care for Sam to show up too much, particularly as the MC finds his footing, because it might undercut the dynamic between the female lead and MC. It's worked out well so far, but eventually Sam is going to have to stop being a tutorial and then it will just be odd to have his presence in the scene.
Honestly, just having Sam outright refuse to advise you in most cases (Gotta take the bruises to learn the lessons, kid!) would largely solve this problem, but given his own tenuous state of existence that really doesn't seem like something he'd do. Fucking up as a newbie supervillain -- particularly as a Mind Controller -- and getting caught by the Society would probably get Sam killed outright. Even if it would be an unintentional side effect. Cool as a cucumber he may be, risking death for no tangible benefit other than schadenfreude doesn't exactly seem like the M.O. of a successful 97 y/o supervillain.
Lastly, balancing the numbers re:Supervilliany is going to be kind of a bitch. Right now, working at a library for 4-6 hours makes better returns with no risk versus hacking a business or mind controlling someone to send you money. That seems... odd. Granted, this is a fresh mechanic and it's likely that you're going to be fiddling with the actual design of the game going forward. I assume we'll eventually be pitching money hand over fist into new tech, hideouts, etc. Right now, though, it just seems comical that you're getting very little ROI for risking jail and getting Sam killed. I get that you may not want to trivialize early purchases, but the $$$ needs to go up to be sensible. Possibly something you've already planned, and the UI is already perfect, so it's just numbers tweaking.
The Ugly
Didn't really notice much in the way of bugs outside of possibly fucking up the Liana access. I'm not sure if I just blitz'd through K's 2nd stage and didn't hang out with them enough on weekends, but I can't get anything regarding Liana to trigger. I've attached the save. (EDIT: Just realized this save is actually kind of far back, before I even 5'd blaire -- I think it still has the Liana issue for you to look at, though.)
Noticed a few typos, but none of them were memorable enough to make me stop playing and keep a log. The only one I remember was, I believe, in Kiara's mind-scape. It refers to her as Klara I think? I couldn't find it again after looking, so take it as you will. I assume it just auto-corrected a mistyped Kiara or something.
These are just some of the thoughts I had. Cheers, and best of luck with the continued development.
Pretty good overall. I like all of the new scenes -- they feel more confident and showy in the writing. They're fun! The new transition 'stages' with Kiara are absolutely fantastic and really convey a sense of scale and time in overcoming major issues. Good stuff all the way in that case, too. The Blaire ones are pretty kawaii -- strong yandere vibes in a cute and humorous manner. I really liked the movie-watching with Kiara too. Good characterization of Blaire, but it does set up something of a problem that I'll comment on later.
I like the Sam dialogue. He does most of the heavy lifting for the backstory of the game and setting, so having him available for questions seems like a decent narrative device. Still waiting for him to be more funny on the index page, but I guess that would undercut the usefulness of it as well as presenting your own mind as sacrosanct. Although, honestly, that doesn't seem like much of an issue given Kiara's arc. I'm also not sure if there was intended to be a scene where you tell Kiara not to do that for Sam's sake and I missed it? The only time I saw it be relevant was in testing Kiara's hypnogear and MC just offhandedly mentions it can't be tested on him. Kiara seems like she understands why, but I don't recall telling her why at any point in the narrative.
Setting up for all the new systems is obvious, even if they don't do much. The Phone UI is good, and the presentation of it as a mission control device is quick and easy to understand. I take issue with he actual balancing of the numbers, but that will be next session. The shops are pretty easy to get to, look at, and understand.
I really, really liked the interactivity created from the messages where one girl notices you doing something and comments. In a game that mostly consists of the player planning out what they're going to do on a schedule, getting a message is always a nice break and adds a lot to the characterization. It's a breath of fresh air from the grindy aspects. I don't know how cumbersome those are to add, but I think you should shove 'em in where ya can.
The Bad
Overall there's not much in this section per se, but I feel like I need to speak up before things get to far. I don't think it's necessarily a good idea to split the girls down two paths. I'm not sure how long the plot of the game is intended to go (or if that is, explicitly, 'until I get bored of making it') -- but doubling up the writing work necessary for scenes may be an annoying hurdle later on as the game gets more developed. Having to write two scenes for every post-split activity, and account for those variable reactions in any scene that the character is involved in, seems like it could be an exponential problem unless you're just willing to bite a narrative bullet and have these pretty distinct personality changes not matter very much.
The Dedicated Blair sunbathing w/ Kiara, event, for example, simply doesn't make much sense given your own set-up. It's clear that she doesn't like you being with other women from the very outset of the route. That's fine. That's the choice that was made and it's clear when it's being made. Dedicated Blaire might also know that you're sleeping with Kiara given the text she sends you after jogging. Unless the intent of the scene was to show Blaire 'taking back control' or otherwise displaying an ulterior motive in line with her 'dedicated' nature, having her suggest Kiara come over to sunbathe is just a bizarre break in character that seems to be generated out of a sense of 'fairness' to having two routes.
I mean, I'm all for having a Dedicated route where you continue to fuzz her brain and get her to accept and enjoy being one of your harem members. That's hot and stuff, but it gets more into a 'having your cake and eating it too' that undercuts the entire point of the choice presented to us. It's also something that FWB Blaire cannot have scenes with, because she's already down with it. So now we'd have to have this whole rabbit hole to make sense of Dedic!Blaire to have any scene with any other female character when the issue is generated by FWB!Blaire presumably having these scenes in galore.
So, I hope this is illustrating why I think having two routes for characters is kind of a dangerous thing to start in on. Lots of variables, lots of oddities being generated, etc.
I also get that this is pretty much a direct result of Blaire being a 'test' character as well -- she's going to be done and finished very early on with few gating-mechanics from other characters. This is going to leave her somewhat unmoored from the game-state of other characters as a result of there being no reasonable way to design 'when' she should be at each stage in other character's stories. Maybe this is a uniquely Blaire issue... but given the potential length of the game, I don't think it will be. Just food for thought -- I don't think this has risen to the level of an actual problem in the game. Just thought I'd express it now and put it out there to chew on.
Another aspect of 'having & eating the cake' is also the start of your super-career with Kiara while also having Sam in your head. It seems hard to justify the whole 'learning the ropes' narrative when the MC has an experienced and knowledgeable supervillian in his head that he can freely question. Hell, the first part of the game is MC getting lessons -- even if Sam can't do his whole dog and pony show b/c of his limited energy, advising the duo seems like it would be pretty within reach. But that undercuts the entire New Supers plotline that you seem to be setting up. I dunno, it just seems like it would be odd not to involve Sam in the process, especially given that it risks his life, but that risks tampering with the intimacy and development of the Kiara plotline. I really don't care for Sam to show up too much, particularly as the MC finds his footing, because it might undercut the dynamic between the female lead and MC. It's worked out well so far, but eventually Sam is going to have to stop being a tutorial and then it will just be odd to have his presence in the scene.
Honestly, just having Sam outright refuse to advise you in most cases (Gotta take the bruises to learn the lessons, kid!) would largely solve this problem, but given his own tenuous state of existence that really doesn't seem like something he'd do. Fucking up as a newbie supervillain -- particularly as a Mind Controller -- and getting caught by the Society would probably get Sam killed outright. Even if it would be an unintentional side effect. Cool as a cucumber he may be, risking death for no tangible benefit other than schadenfreude doesn't exactly seem like the M.O. of a successful 97 y/o supervillain.
Lastly, balancing the numbers re:Supervilliany is going to be kind of a bitch. Right now, working at a library for 4-6 hours makes better returns with no risk versus hacking a business or mind controlling someone to send you money. That seems... odd. Granted, this is a fresh mechanic and it's likely that you're going to be fiddling with the actual design of the game going forward. I assume we'll eventually be pitching money hand over fist into new tech, hideouts, etc. Right now, though, it just seems comical that you're getting very little ROI for risking jail and getting Sam killed. I get that you may not want to trivialize early purchases, but the $$$ needs to go up to be sensible. Possibly something you've already planned, and the UI is already perfect, so it's just numbers tweaking.
The Ugly
Didn't really notice much in the way of bugs outside of possibly fucking up the Liana access. I'm not sure if I just blitz'd through K's 2nd stage and didn't hang out with them enough on weekends, but I can't get anything regarding Liana to trigger. I've attached the save. (EDIT: Just realized this save is actually kind of far back, before I even 5'd blaire -- I think it still has the Liana issue for you to look at, though.)
Noticed a few typos, but none of them were memorable enough to make me stop playing and keep a log. The only one I remember was, I believe, in Kiara's mind-scape. It refers to her as Klara I think? I couldn't find it again after looking, so take it as you will. I assume it just auto-corrected a mistyped Kiara or something.
These are just some of the thoughts I had. Cheers, and best of luck with the continued development.
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Just blasted through most of the content and really liked it. One small suggestion would be a way to see how many points you need with a girl without also seeing the solution to the puzzle. Overall a great game you've made here. Looking forward to seeing where it goes.
- Jul 14, 2017
- 191
- 395
Lots of interesting points so I will take them paragraph at a time (for the bad and ugly section)
- My original plan was to have her split into two routes and then split again for 4 total end states but I agree that it got far too cumbersome. There will be a second split but it will be much more superficial (her codename, eventual costume, small bonus, etc.). The two split is not that much of an issue writing wise but I can see where it can get complicated in the long run. I think Blaire and Kaira will be my book ends for complexity.
- The way I have looked at it (and I may have to add some stuff to make it come across better) is that Dedicated Blaire is unhappy with your philandering but puts up with it because she thinks it makes you happy. So she bites the bullet and lets it slide. Also, the sunbathing comes in after the three of you are hanging out so she is also friends with Kiara so its more of just having a friend over then a rival.
- The Sam thing is a very good point and honestly is more narrative convenience on my end. I'll have to think on this. Kindof reminds me of tv shows and movies where theres the wise old mentor character and its like "why doesn't the just save the day?"
- You hit the nail on the head with the money. There will be much larger investments down the line that require much more money and trying to keep things balanced until then is annoying. I plan on going through and rebalancing things once there is more to buy. I have a spreadsheet with the ROI and I tweak it a bit for the next run through.
- I cut out some of the Liane stuff until I can flesh it out so that may be where things got weird if you have an old save.
Thanks! I may just add a counter to the next level (like 14/20) for the stats, just to make it easier.
I'm losing my fuckin mind looking for this damn squid room lol. I got the Gold door unlocked and burned through the platinum door, but I can't find the squid. I'm probably overlooking it like a moron but I'm going crazy. Pls help lol
Didn't notice your reply since you put it within the quote. Sorry it took so long.
The real porn of them and images isn't the point, but things like Become Alpha, Lust for Life, Become someone, College Daze, Dryad Quest, Incubus City.
A lot of it is about good UI or at least easier to parse UI and text. Second is about player control.
moving the mouse to click in and out of rooms can for a player who doesn't know much be strenuous on the wrist. So I good addition is to make choices also be doable with number keys/number pad.
I do like how in yours there is the name and it tells you what they look like. I also like your story line so far.
- Jan 7, 2018
- 20
- 13
So I can't get Blaire from Level 3 to 4.
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- Jul 14, 2017
- 191
- 395
The closest there is to a walkthrough currently are the hints given in the lounge during naps and sleeping. No full thing yet.
I have a few ideas that I'm implementing for the UI, nothing major really yet (don't have the time for a major overhaul) but hopefully something that is a bit more polished. I'll look into the keyboard stuff, hopefully its not to difficult to implement.
That's in the next update
any hint how to start dating liane ? i got kiara to lvl 3 and did more than 4 sesions with booth of them and watching tv...and still nothing.
- Jan 14, 2017
- 80
- 101
Speaking of what is planned for the next update? Just the higher levels for Kiara or more Liane etc?
- Jul 14, 2017
- 191
- 395
Liane was never fully implemented so most of what was in the game has been cut out until more can be done.
As of right now I am redoing some of the UI / proofreading. I plan on doing Kiara's next level, some random encounters, a bit more with the Blaire/Kiara hang outs, and maybe a few other things. A lot of what I'm doing for next update is heavy behind the scenes so it may slightly less content wise.
Once Kiara is done, I will start building Prism and Liane at the same time.
I honestly have no idea why that is happening. Can you access the settings button? Maybe something is screwed up with the colors?
- May 26, 2017
- 759
- 1,015
- Oct 6, 2017
- 739
- 1,734
I am stuck at Blaire second dream. I have raised both stats to 30. I have learned woodworking once from the former soldier neighbour (I learned it while he did craddle, I think). But when I visit dream I cant progress and make the ladder from wood in Store room.
Also hints in dream mention something about finding out Blaire's motivation in library, but I have no clue what I am supposed to do. There is nothing in College Library except doing menial job for money.
Also hints in dream mention something about finding out Blaire's motivation in library, but I have no clue what I am supposed to do. There is nothing in College Library except doing menial job for money.
- Nov 15, 2017
- 565
- 449
The library it's mentioning is hiding in Blaire's dreamscape. To rebuild the ladder you need to have completely learned woodworking, it takes a few sessions. If you end up needing more precise help myself or somebody else can probably help you out.
- Oct 6, 2017
- 739
- 1,734
Thanks. Do you remember how do I trigger those sessions? I leave house very often, but I have encountered button "visit Mr.Neighbour" only once.