VN - Ren'Py - Completed - Alison Fall of the Apple [v1.0] [OneManVN]

Before I start I'll say I only played the harem route so I'm not sure how different the harem and love route are.

This game is amazing. The characters are likable, and there is just enough drama to make it feel like a real story. And enough sex scenes to make it feel like a porn game. (thou I will admit I have a thing for redheads, so Melisa is a big YES from me) I'm super interested to see how the story plays out, and to see my dick in some of the other girls (willow I'm looking at you)

Keep it up, earned yourself a patron

So many stupid VN's get popular that make me sad gems such as this doesn't get the exposure it deserves, I absolutely LOVE the story (played the main love path), one of the best, up there with City of...ehm I mean certain other sci-fi game, really gripping you and making you feel for the characters, no small task for the Developer to accomplish...

If I wanted to give the game some tough love I would point to the a bit too curvy body of Alison, it's not a big deal really... Only a single time out of the whole game was my immersion ever broken when Melissa let the thugs take the girl which felt out of character for her.
But that's nit picking a great game, GO TRY THE GAME RIGHT NOW!!
(if you are looking for something more than just "oh hi daughter, let me massage your tits to help your bloodflow!" .....pointing a finger somewhere I'm sure....)

If you enjoyed the game, consider supporting the guy on Patreon...

Objectively a bad game that I subjectively enjoy.

Visuals are nice enough, and improves as it goes along. The story is, IMO, delightfully wierd, comically over the top and if not for the writing, well paced.

My enjoyment of the game hinges a lot on the use of skip and scrollback, as when the writer starts doing repeated (thought bubble) (thought bubble) ... ad nauseam, I skim untill I see a change in the text blow, scroll back a line or two as needed, and continue. That makes this otherwise delightfully "insane" plot about a manageable to read.

And it's a pity that the author have confused word count with quality. He really should replace:
Her face makes me hot.
Her eyes makes my brain shut down. (*Comment removed due to self-editing)
Her tits make me horny as hell.
Her ass gives me a boner.
etc...

With some variation of: She's a real stunner/lovely/beautiful.
And replace the genders and bodyparts as needed for various characters interactions.
And having an inner monologue (that is somethimes broken) is not wrong, having a teenagers inner monologue is not wrong either. Having a hypercompetent operative with a onetrack teenager mind is not wrong when done for a comic effect, which this game succeeds in, even if I would enjoy it lots more if the author stopped putting detailed thoughts in the head of the MC, and let the reader supply the fine print.

In short, even if my opinion should be humble... In My Not So Fucking Humble Opinion, hats off to OneManVN, but the game would be infinitely better if OneMan would be a team of one creator, and one EDITOR!

There are people with the self-knowledge and discipline enough to be their own editor... (I don't believe myself to be one of them), but OneManVN: Not one of thoose.

Still I enjoy the plot, I enjoy the DEADPOOL inspirations, and had fun playing it. With good writing, this would easily be a weak 5 for me (subjective rating). So I disobey the author who instructed anyone who don't like his writing to FUCK OFF, as his creativity has enough other appealing sides for me to give this a three star, and a three star that I can recommend people to give a try, and see if they too can enjoy.

Update will follow if there ever will be a REMASTER-REMASTER edition with cleaned up and well-paced writing.

great game so far

the characters look for the most part great

music is a nice touch in this game as well

storyline is decent

the option to have a harem makes it a big +

cant wait to see whats coming next keep it up dev

Ok, I have to give this game a review, despite telling myself that I wouldn`t do reviews of games that I dislike!
Warning!
Despite this game having 4 star+ its no where near that good! In fact, game starts with the warning that you should seriously consider!!!
Renders are ok, but not great. Characters are often out of proportion,(by a lot!) Story is super boring(and loooong).
Not many choices. You can find yourself playing 30min without any choice!?!

My advice, stay away!!!
Game deserves 2 stars at most but I didn`t encounter any bugs and renders are solid, thats why 3 star!

Excellent VN. The renders are amazing, the story is great. Such an awesome flow to the whole experience. I've been coming back to this one for a long time. Been through several changes with the flow of the story, and have had several restarts with some of the updates. Saying this, I won't be starting over again. I had six different saves, and none of them work with this update. I hope you will continue with the wonderful VN you've put out so far. Maybe when it's complete I'll circle back to experience it. Keep up the awesome work.

Old review :this is one of the best VN out there it deserve more attention from the dev by making faster updates and more support from patreon.
the renders are amazing the girls are extremely hot and different , the story is good tho it is a little text heavy, what i like so much about this game that it can be very dark sometime and funny in an other, i also love the many paths that you can choose from and the variety of kinks and fetishes that are done.
New:changes to the renders and story destroyed anything good about this game.

Game version: [v0.4.5]

Jesus Christ, the writing in this game. You get warned in the beginning that it is text-heavy, and oh boy, is it ever. Sometimes it feels like you can skip dialogue for a minute straight while stuck on the same render.

Lots of dialogue in itself isn't a problem, the problem is that it's all so tedious, repetitive and stilted. Interactions between characters come off as if the dev was an alien that has never seen real humans interact before.

The MC is supposed to be a "highly trained X military veteran" and he has random Mary Sue moments when the plot demands it, but most of the time he is written more like a horny and insecure schoolboy that could be straight out of any incest game.

The renders and the ambitious nature of the multiple paths make me want to like this game but playing it is like pulling teeth.

OneManVN does a straight up fucking amazing job!
5/5 For Top quality renders
5/5 For all of the Beautiful women with all of their own backstories, wonderful personalities.
5/5 for Story, Can get a little dark at times but it just makes you want to take care of the characters in the story even more.
So if you have some time play this story or The Shrink, Its another one of His works. Both are amazing. And if you like the stories as much as i do... Try recommending them to your friends or even better Stop by OneManVN's Patron and support him to help him further develop these wonderful stories.

Man, I really don't know what to say. This game starts off extremely serious, and continues with this serious tone throughout the duration of the game. At times, it gets very clowny and kind of crazy, which for me, detracted from the enjoyment.

The game is very dialogue heavy, which isn't a bad thing, but the game reaches a pace where so many things are happening at once and then suddenly stops to teach a robot what life is for a long time. The pacing just feels off. Like, the game is pretty insane, the cops are crooked, there's a crooked mayor, pretty much everyone in the government is awful - then the game drops a bomb by making one of the main characters part android and making the game even more wild.

I think the game is just almost too crazy for me to realistically follow. And I'm kind of just trying to digest it all and having a ton of trouble doing so. I wish I could have explained it better but I have trouble trying to understand this game. It is so very ambitious and I am not sure the risk paid off in my eyes.

I personally found this game extremely frustrating just because of how peculiar it gets. It seems to be in a constant battle of trying to mind-screw the reader more and more and it's so hard for me to get through. The game feels so unnatural at times. Like the girls get saved, there are dead bodies and knocked out people everywhere and the main characters have deep conversations right outside of the building. How am I ever going to accept that this decision makes sense? If more enemies came they would risk getting captured again!

It feels like some random MC is a superhero just saving girls left and right with no real assistance besides his random hitman chick and the hacker. It is just too much for me to suspend my belief. Maybe if it was further explained why MC and even Melissa were able to easily outmatch all opponents, then I would have no problem seeing them style on enemies.

One thing I really appreciated about this game, was the fact that there are 3 drastically different routes. I find it extremely impressive that the game can literally play out entirely differently based on one choice in particular. The amount of effort that went into that specifically is amazing.

I'm rating 3 stars because of the massive effort the dev/devs put into this and I really wish I could adore this game. I feel this game falls flat in most regards but I would be lying if there weren't extremely promising moments throughout the game.

This is one of the best game out their this guy has some of the best renders I've seen and story lines are awesome and waiting for quality is great even though some people think he takes too long screw them this game is fucking amazing and u can tell this dev puts his life into his work and what can I say shadow or Aiko what ever u want to call her shes is by far the best model out their this guy is a god!!!!

I took some time to play this game. I've been meaning to for a while actually. And...I like it. I don't love it but I do like it.

The game presents to you 3 routes that all genuinely feel very different from one another so it leaves room for some pretty diverse "gameplay". Gameplay referring to your choices and how they are made. I also kinda like some of these characters, particularly Alison.

The renders get better with time. It looks like the dev switched to Octane partway through, which gives the renders a different, more alluring look.

Where the game loses me though is the writing. Before you get to play, the game warns you that it has a lot of text so it wouldn't be wise to skip through and still have an idea of what's going on in the story. "That ain't no problem", I thought. I love story-oriented games. Come to find out that this game is extremely bloated in text. A previous review said it was extremely verbose...boy is it ever.

This would not be an issue whatsoever if what was being said half the time carried the story forward, and don't get me wrong, the story does move, but when you have characters constantly, constantly repeating themselves in different ways, the story will tend to feel stagnant. Characters continuously monologue, saying the same sentence in about 5 different ways before we get to move on. For example, how many different ways can Alison say that the MC is good to her? How many different ways can your enemies say that they'll rape/kill/make slaves out of the female cast in a single scene? The point is, we get it. It's time to move on.

In spite of the game's warning, this repetitive practice in the dialogue almost pressures you to skip through the scenes as a result, which is clearly what the dev wants to avoid, but it wouldn't surprise me if some players, who genuinely wanted to play through the story began skimming the dialogue after a while, like I found myself doing at some point.

My word of advice to the dev is to try and say more with less. A lot of writers in these games tend to fall into the trap of thinking they need to spell out everything for the player. Every inner thought, every inner desire, and so on, but this is one of the worst instances I've seen in an adult game, because not only is a lot of it unnecessary, but you seem to take one thought or one feeling and stretch it into 3 or 4 sentences, miraculously, sometimes, even more, when you only needed 1 to get the message across, and all this for one scene. It gets worse when you take into account the fact that that same point might be revisited in a later scene, only for it to be stretched out once again in another 2 or 3 sentences when it was already established. The game is well received, but you can't expect the player to still be interested after they've been beaten over the head by that single point of interest.

So yeah. It's a cool game and I'm interested in the story, but it's bogged down mightily by continuously circling around one point for far too long, so much so that it even becomes hard to get passed the prologue. We're in too deep for a possible rewrite I think, but going forward I think this is definitely something that can be fixed.

3/5 seems appropriate here. Renders get better over time , the story is interesting and diverse, though conflicts can be grossly over the top, sometimes even idiotic, and character interactions, while endearing and cute are very repetitive. Still, I look forward to seeing how this improves.

I meant to write this preview few weeks/months ago, but decided to give this game another try.

Don't let the 4,5 stars deceive you - While this game has a really nice renders and most of the models looks alright(besides the little readhead that looks like 14 yo)
Dialogue in this game and overall the chemistry and relationships feel like they were written on a knee while sitting on a toilet.
When you read the text while going through the game you wish that you could just knock on your nuckle and change the writer of this game like right now to make the game at least a little better.

Also it's not like me not enjoying the good, longer focused on a more text based novels, but this one is just simply not interesting.

Characters throw me off completely, over the top shenanigans that make more annoyed than excited.

All over the top characters and the story that tries to be serious on top of that makes the whole game look like a caricature with a good looking candies.

Someone in the review bring up the word ''cringe-worthy'' i think this famous internet 2019 word says it all about this game.

PROS:
- Renders
- Grammar
- Game already have some content and won't end after 10 mins

CONS:
- Writing of the story is really bad, it's going back and forth all the time and i feel like the Dev doesn't know what he/she wrote the other day.
- Characters(especially the little ginger girl) feel like caricatures and their conversations doesn't feel like humans talking with each other most of the time.
- Too much reading that is not that interesting, in my opinion if you like to put so many thoughts and text in the game at least make it fit better and enjoyable.

I would recommend this game only to people that are bored and have nothing else to check or play but if you don't like the writing at the beginning, a will tell you a spoiler - It won't get better and characters will still feel all over the top and simply unrealistic while trying to be like one of these realistic games.

Frankly, I do not quite get why so many people rave about this game.

It's not bad, Alison is sweet and the story is halfway original.
The sex scenes and the renders are alright, but nothing special tbh.
Nothing you don't see in dozens of other games.

A major plus point for the game are the three very distinct paths, it's practically 3 VN's in one, I mean, the chars even look different.

Now to the reasons this can only get three stars from me.

It's verbose.... it's sooooo verbose. Everybody is constantly talking or thinking (often out loud) and they all love to hear themselves talk (or think).
The MC constantly, constantly acts like a horny schoolkid, whenever he sees a butt or tits.
I mean, I love to see TnA, you probably love to see TnA, but every time you see them do you go "Damn, she's killing me!" Or "my boner is killing me."
This is not verbatim, but it's the type of comment the MC constantly spouts out.
It's all very cringe-worthy, more often than not.

The MC is a complete MarySue. He can do everything, he can shoot, fight, fuck and kill like there's no tomorrow, kind of like Jensen, but without any real explanation as to why, he is practically superhuman.

Also, many clichés like a corrupt mayor and chief of police, all cops but two either crooked or incompetent... etc..


Both the MC and Melissa talk like really bad 80s action heroes.

And what others mentioned, this is practically a kinetic novel, not a game.
You have very little decisions to make to really influence the story, apart from the branching early on.

All of this can be overlooked, but not all in one game.
Despite the positive aspects, I just can't get past the not so great stuff and tbh, considering the quality of some of the games here, anything more than 3 stars would do a great disservice to those better games.

Edited to add at version 0.5.5:
I've decided to change my review score from 3 to 2 stars, here's why

1. The overenthusiastic reviews by many here, completely disregarding the many weaknesses the game has, in favour of it's few strengths, bend the review score so unrealistically that you have to do something to change that.
In all honesty, I feel bad for people coming here expecting a game worthy of so many 5 star ratings.

2. The wasted potential.
This game needs an editor, who is willing to actually reign in the writing and make the necessary cuts, as long as that doesn't happen the situation won't change.
Chapter after chapter hits and the weaknesses seem to become worse, it reaches a point were you become so frustrated over the teenage mentality of the MC, the repetitiveness of dialogue and inner monologue, the awkwardness in the dialogue, the incredible MarySue of an MC we have etc..) that you don't want to play anymore.
I couldn't come back to the game after update 0.5.5, since it became a chore to play through, not fun.

Version 0.4.3

Love this game and would definitely recommend it.

I would go deep into the reasons I like it so much but it's all been said before so just check out the other 5star reviews as those are the ones that are correct.

When you do play this (and you definitely should) remember to save at the point it splits into 3 completely separate games- Love/Harem/Dom and try every route despite any misconceptions other games may have left you with regarding what a sub/dom relationship actually is.

Pros- The girls, the writing, the girls, the renders and also the girls.

Cons- The lack of a functioning time machine to get me to the next update.

I'll start off with the admission that I avoided this for a long time due to my own stupidity.

I saw the corruption tag and passed by. I have a hate/hate thing with corruption games in that I doubly hate them because they are full of idiots.

Rob convinced me to play it and i've loved it ever since.

There are 3 routes to take each with their own self contained story within the same setting.

The game starts off with the main character rescuing Alison and taking her in. From there you are introduced to some of the main cast including the MC's police partner (and my mistress ... context later) Melissa, his best friend and former army team member Ricky and his wife Michelle and their other army team member the adorable (but very deadly) Shadow.

There are a few emotional turns along the way and the build up to the story including what is going on and how Alison ties into it then you get 3 choices to follow the story route your prefer.

Love is the main story where you will start a relationship with 1 (or more if you get really really lucky and I do mean that it's near impossible) which is either Alison, Alice or Mel.

Harem is a more lighthearted (but not without drama) route where you don't need to choose and can have all the women folk but there is still a story going on.

Last is Domination route but unlike corruption games you aren't torturing or raping the girl into submission. You can dominate her through love if the need takes you.

Mel is also in the dom route but she has a girlfriend who is her sub that she spanks and puts in her place. That would be me made into a character (and why I call Mel, mistress). It was a recent addition and the dev did a great job in boosting my ego and made me slightly taller cos i'm really small irl.

As of writing this love has the longest route and is started hitting end game status with the big bad guys stepping up their game.

Harem comes close behind that and dom is trailing those but still has enough content to be worth a look down that route.

It does have a lot of text, this is a story based VN but does also have sex.

All in all i'd say it's worth a read.

Version: 0.4.3

This VN comes with a great and dark storyline which will suck you into a lot of emotions and will never get boring. You have 3 different routes (love, harem and dom) with different stories and extra branches. Which caters torwards many different tastes.

The ladies are awesome and every single one is unique.

There is not much to say torwards the renders because they are simply great.

So if you are interested in all the above mentioned and if you are not afraid to read a lot, then this is a VN you have to try. Solid 5*

Excellent, Just Excellent...

The best parts of this Vn is the storyline, how well written it is and the people in it...

Alison - The Kind hearted girl thats been to hell and back and yet still manages to stay positive and not lose faith

Alice - The girl who dont mind collecting her scalps and dont care how many she takes down... Too Sexy for her shirt.

The MC who happens to be a cop/ Ranger, the not so silent type that is portrayed as intelligent, And has a sense of humor.

I absolutely Love this VN for number of reasons :
* Its a cut above the rest

* The Writing is structured, with a Solid and meaning full storyline.

* It dares to encompas the one thing that alot of vns dont: Nanites

* Most of the girls are Gorgeous.

This comes as a PRIORITY Download Recommendation...
Give this a shot I guarantee, you wont be disappointed.

Pros

- The game is basically 3 games in one, as each route (Love, Harem, Dom) is entirely different.
- Story is dark, but very good.
- The girls are fantastic, and each is unique. (Melissa <3)
- Renders are good early, great later, likely fantastic in the future.

Cons

- Some people may not like the amount of reading. Even for a VN, there is a lot of text, and the sexual content for the most part is a very slow burn early. Not an issue to me at all personally, but it may be to some.

Final Rating 5*. Honestly all around it's just one of the best games out there. Would recommend to anyone.

version 0.4.2
good story (but for my personal taste too much text), good pics. in these version not to much choices, so game looks almost "kinetic novel" (hope in future game ll have more nonlinear gameplay). story language is not too difficult to understanding, so nonnative english speakers can enjoy game w/o using dictionary each minute.