[Answered] Few questions about backstory.

[M$hot]

Hello person that reads this

I am currently writing out the backstory for my MC, mostly so I know what his story is, so I know what would and what wouldn't be out of character, keep him internally consistent.
My questions are:
1. How long would you suggest an intro to an MC to be? A few lines? A paragraph? 2 pages?
2. Do I tell the full backstory of the character to the player or do I set them up just enough that people get a sense of their person?
3. If the backstory of the character is super dark, does that impact the answer to questions 1&2?
(When I say super dark, it involves domestic violence, a murder suicide, a regular suicide, a violent beating and a few murders.)
4. I know most people play a porn game to have something sexy to spend some time with, if the backstory is that dark, is the idea that at the very least you don't show the violence?
(There's nothing sexy about the violence and there's only non-sexual violence)

If you have an answer to any of these questions (or all, I'm not picky ) or something else to say/suggest, I'd love to hear it.

The context for the dark backstory is that I'm writing what I consider to be a reasonable backstory for how I imagine a minor might end up in the mob. So a backstory that motivates the MC to believe in 'no mercy, instead of eye for an eye, its 'you take my eye, I take your family'' kind of thing. This penchant for revenge will rear it's head later in the game.
I don't want to turn players off with a dark/violent intro but I don't want to turn people off with too little backstory/writing either.

I'm especially interested in people who like playing very narrative driven games and people who write for games, but I welcome any opinion.

 

[mickydoo]

Hello person that reads this

I am currently writing out the backstory for my MC, mostly so I know what his story is, so I know what would and what wouldn't be out of character, keep him internally consistent.
My questions are:
1. How long would you suggest an intro to an MC to be? A few lines? A paragraph? 2 pages?
2. Do I tell the full backstory of the character to the player or do I set them up just enough that people get a sense of their person?
3. If the backstory of the character is super dark, does that impact the answer to questions 1&2?
(When I say super dark, it involves domestic violence, a murder suicide, a regular suicide, a violent beating and a few murders.)
4. I know most people play a porn game to have something sexy to spend some time with, if the backstory is that dark, is the idea that at the very least you don't show the violence?
(There's nothing sexy about the violence and there's only non-sexual violence)

If you have an answer to any of these questions (or all, I'm not picky ) or something else to say/suggest, I'd love to hear it.

The context for the dark backstory is that I'm writing what I consider to be a reasonable backstory for how I imagine a minor might end up in the mob. So a backstory that motivates the MC to believe in 'no mercy, instead of eye for an eye, its 'you take my eye, I take your family'' kind of thing. This penchant for revenge will rear it's head later in the game.
I don't want to turn players off with a dark/violent intro but I don't want to turn people off with too little backstory/writing either.

I'm especially interested in people who like playing very narrative driven games and people who write for games, but I welcome any opinion.

1 and 2 - A few lines to a paragraph, for a few reasons

A lot of people won't read it anyway.
It gives you scope to add back story as you go.
But mainly it allows you to make shit up as you go along.

Think of the MC as someone you are getting to know, sitting down and listening to his life story in one sitting would be annoying. Getting to know the MC as the game progresses is more like getting to know someone in real life.

As you make the game, the most well-written script takes a back seat, you think of things as your story comes to life, if you have a background story set in stone from the onset you have to stick with it. My MC comes out with tidbits of his life either in self-reflection or in conversation.

3 - If it's a dark background, the initial intro should reflect that but not dwell on the detail, the detail should come out as the story progresses. I might think your game is not for me, but I might come back to find out what is behind the MC motives and get to like it.

4 - I can't answer that one, that would be up to you in a lot of sense. All I can say if your story needs violence to get the narrative across then use it.

Remember overall, it's your story, take everything including this all this on board, but don't let it change your direction too much.

 

[anne O'nymous]

1. How long would you suggest an intro to an MC to be? A few lines? A paragraph? 2 pages?

Ideally, 0 word long.
You shouldn't introduce the MC, just let the story tell us whatever we need to know. But I totally understand that it's far to be easy or always possible ; especially when the setting is kind of an universe parallel to ours.

Having a character say something like, "my god, I was so trashed few months ago, at you 21 birthday party", will always be way better than all the, "I'm 21 year old", in the world.

2. Do I tell the full backstory of the character to the player or do I set them up just enough that people get a sense of their person?

Do we need to know "this" before the game start ? If no, then wait for the information to be needed or relevant, before you introduce it. And as above, prefer it to be said by the story, not by the narrator.

Here, one possible way to do it, is a flashback scene. You don't tell us the information, you make us witness it. Not only it permit you to give more information, and/or information regarding other characters, but it also add some depth to your story.
Those flashbacks can come for something he hear/see, or be nightmares he have. In the first case, it can start by a really short monologue to put the context ; something like, "it remember me this time, when I was 10 and I was beat to death by those bastard". And in the last case, you can complete it with a monologue a little longer ; it's not unusual to have an introspection time when you wake up after such nightmare coming right from your past, therefore it will not feel odd.

Another possible way is to start the game with a succession of short scenes taking place in MC's past, in chronological order. We see him growing step by step, into the person he now is. But it's more complicated to do this right.

3. If the backstory of the character is super dark, does that impact the answer to questions 1&2?
(When I say super dark, it involves domestic violence, a murder suicide, a regular suicide, a violent beating and a few murders.)

Yes, but just by enforcing it.
Take "The DeLuca Family" infamous "My Name Is Luna" scene. Living it trigger way more feeling from the player than all the possible narration. And the more you'll trigger player's feeling, the more involved he will be to your story.
Obviously, the darker is the scene, the more this apply, because those feelings are at the opposite of the one expected from an adult game, and it's also a good way to trigger sympathy for the MC. This especially if you want to make him borderline ; alright he's not always a gentleman, but we know that it's not totally his fault and why he act like this.
It can even works if he's the one being a dick in the past, if he's not like that anymore. In this case it will let us see how the realization of what he did changed him, which will make him more human.

4. I know most people play a porn game to have something sexy to spend some time with, if the backstory is that dark, is the idea that at the very least you don't show the violence?

Well, you know more than me. I'm still at, "people mostly prefer games with a story".
It didn't mean that there isn't many members who are here for the porn, but if you look at the games that are popular, you've the historical ones (like Summertime Saga, by example), the ones made by a well know creator (like Milfy City, by example), and the ones that have a strong story. Pure porn games are apparently less successful.
This said, some people can still be disturbed by a too dark backstory, which is natural and understandable. So, providing an optional alternate scene, less graphical or with blurred CG, can be a good idea if it's something really dark.

 

[Droid Productions]

I think every writer is a little different here, so this is just personal opinion:

I try to be very careful about exposition. It's good that *you* know these things, and that it helps shape how you write the character, but don't drop all of it on the player. Instead, if you can, dole it out in little nibblets where it feels like it naturally belongs. If you wanted to have a suicide by his best friend, have a person say they're sorry, have him remember something they did together then stop himself halfway, have a number of little story-pellets, ideally woven into existing narrative. When the player finally uncovers this thing that has been alluded to earlier, they'll feel smart and loved. More importantly, it makes the world feel alive and rich.

(YMMW, of course... I'm a programmer, not a writer).

 

[M$hot]

So if I got this right, it seems like all of you are saying 'No, don't tell it all, in fact, at most a TL;DR version' and even then it's better to show than to tell, and you can always let go of a few more details as time goes on.' If I oversimplify your well thought out and much appreciated responses?

1 and 2 - A few lines to a paragraph, for a few reasons

A lot of people won't read it anyway.
It gives you scope to add back story as you go.
But mainly it allows you to make shit up as you go along.

Think of the MC as someone you are getting to know, sitting down and listening to his life story in one sitting would be annoying. Getting to know the MC as the game progresses is more like getting to know someone in real life.

This makes sense to me and I was already leaning towards it a bit, but when I got to writing a backstory I ended up with 4 pages so I thought 'ehm, shoot, what now?'
But you're right, an exposition dump doesn't really help immersion nor does it feel natural. And I suppose implication can do a lot too. 'Orphaned at a young age' can imply a vast variety of different causes.

Ideally, 0 word long.
You shouldn't introduce the MC, just let the story tell us whatever we need to know. But I totally understand that it's far to be easy or always possible ; especially when the setting is kind of an universe parallel to ours.

Having a character say something like, "my god, I was so trashed few months ago, at you 21 birthday party", will always be way better than all the, "I'm 21 year old", in the world.

Do we need to know "this" before the game start ? If no, then wait for the information to be needed or relevant, before you introduce it. And as above, prefer it to be said by the story, not by the narrator.

Here, one possible way to do it, is a flashback scene. You don't tell us the information, you make us witness it. Not only it permit you to give more information, and/or information regarding other characters, but it also add some depth to your story.
Those flashbacks can come for something he hear/see, or be nightmares he have. In the first case, it can start by a really short monologue to put the context ; something like, "it remember me this time, when I was 10 and I was beat to death by those bastard". And in the last case, you can complete it with a monologue a little longer ; it's not unusual to have an introspection time when you wake up after such nightmare coming right from your past, therefore it will not feel odd.

Another possible way is to start the game with a succession of short scenes taking place in MC's past, in chronological order. We see him growing step by step, into the person he now is. But it's more complicated to do this right.

Am I reading you right if I get 'show, don't tell' vibes from your response? I do want to limit the amount of narration because while it clears things up, it can also harm immersion, as far as anybody is going to get immersed anyway. So I don't really have to tell the player anything, just as long as I know it so I can write a story that's in line with him? And if I do have stuff to tell, it doesn't need to be all at once.

I think every writer is a little different here, so this is just personal opinion:

I try to be very careful about exposition. It's good that *you* know these things, and that it helps shape how you write the character, but don't drop all of it on the player. Instead, if you can, dole it out in little nibblets where it feels like it naturally belongs. If you wanted to have a suicide by his best friend, have a person say they're sorry, have him remember something they did together then stop himself halfway, have a number of little story-pellets, ideally woven into existing narrative. When the player finally uncovers this thing that has been alluded to earlier, they'll feel smart and loved. More importantly, it makes the world feel alive and rich.

(YMMW, of course... I'm a programmer, not a writer).

Programmer or not, you speak wisdom! This is probably the clearest and most concise advice I've received in years! Allusion can also lead people to conclusion, you don't need to just feed them a datasheet. Please forgive me if I'm misunderstanding your message, but that's kind of what I got from it. I need to know his story to keep him consistent, but nobody else is really helped by just getting it up front and some details they may never need.


You all took time out of your day to read my questions and seriously consider and write a detailed and helpful response. Thank you! I'm a retired 3D artist and used to be somewhat of a codemonkey, so I have some questions about writing (which I've rarely ever done) that may seem obvious or basic to others. So you've really helped me here, thank you!

 

[Mimir's Lab]

Everything following this is my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

1. There really isn't a way to quantify how many lines of text should suffice for introducing a main character as the amount varies depending on your method of introduction. The method I prefer, which I will call "show-don't-tell on steroids" might use no lines of dialogue at all to introduce the character.

Example: If I wanted to introduce a character, lower middle class worker who is absolutely tired of his 9-5 life, I might do it this way using almost no dialogue at all.

Show MC strewn across his bed.
Alarm goes off, its 8AM.
His body remains static but his arm reaches out to blindly attempt to hit the snooze button.
Eventually he gets it. Repeat at 8:05 and 8:10, finally he gets up.
We see the MC, he looks halfway dead already. Add absolutely terrible bedhead for comedic effect.
He gets ready, putting on his work attire, and lazily fixing his hair. There's some hair that's sticking up on his head, he doesn't care.
He leaves the house, outside it's a big city and we see he was living in an apartment.
Show montage of him getting coffee, getting on a subway train, then finally to his workplace.
His facial expression hasn't changed at all since the first time we've see him.
He presses up on the elevator. He waits a while for the elevator, the stairs clearly in our sights. A long moment later it opens and he gets in along with 3 others, two who dress like executives and one like management.
There are 40 floors, the executives press floor 38, management guy presses floor 23, our MC presses floor 2.
Floor 2, door opens. Massive amount of cubicles are shown.
MC almost doesn't want to leave the elevator, door begins to close before he finally steps out, narrowly missing the elevator doors.
MC gets to his cubicle, gets settled in, hands placed and on the keyboard and become a blur. We are fast forwarding through his day.
We can see an analog clock behind him that shows this.
Through the fast forwarding, his environment is constantly abuzz with activity and his hands constantly typing on the keyboard and answering the phone. One thing stays the same though, the blank dead expression on his face.
It's 5PM, he leaves work.
Show reverse montage of him getting back home.
Instead of going home straight from the subway, he takes a detour to the liquor store.
He gets in, gets a 6 pack of beer and goes to the counter. His face still expressionless.
In walks a beautiful girl who the cashier greets.
Finally MC breaks his expressionless state and tries, unsuccessfully, to stay calm and blank. He looks at her from the corner of his eye and subconsciously goes to scratch at his hair (that was sticking up) in a vain attempt to fix it.
She lines up behind him and he dares not look at her. He pays for his alcohol and leaves, trying to hide it from her sight.
He walks back home but every couple of steps he turns back to look at the store.
He returns home and drinks his night away.
Bam, its morning, repeat the events of yesterday but in fast forward.
Finally we're back in the liquor store, but this time the girl has arrived ahead of him.
When she goes to pay for her stuff, she realizes she left her wallet at home.
The cashier, noticing how the MC always looks at her, gives him a look implying "you gonna do anything?".
MC, in a combination of fear, shock, and excitement, offers to pay for her stuff.
This is the inciting incident that begins their romantic journey.

Probably two lines of dialogue at most here but all the personality of the MC is hidden behind his actions, his environment, and the things you'd expect him to do, but he doesn't. You could go with the standard but imo significantly weaker introduction by saying "Hi, I'm a 24 year old office worker who's tired of his 9-5 life. There's this girl that I see at the liquor store that I have a crush on." It still gets the point across but it's so much more boring to read that than to experience a slice of the MC's life. The only issue is, that's a ton of work, especially when you compare that to it's weaker alternative.

2. When it comes to this point, I like to give the audience something in the MC's personality that they can relate to, to latch onto. The nuance in the MC's personality due to his backstory that might deviate from norm, I give the bare minimum explanation to but sometimes not until much later in the story. I do this because we like mystery. If we know everything there is to know about a person, scenes with that character would be worse because its lacking intrigue, we'd lose the curiosity to learn more about them.

3. If the backstory is super dark, I'd start off with some slightly less dark stuff to get the audience settled in. If you go in too heavy with a focus on a character the audience has not attached themselves to, you lose all the emotional weight in those scenes. The audience doesn't yet have a reason to care for them. You want to reveal all the heavy stuff at the right moments in your story, after your audience has had a chance to attach themselves to your MC, for the maximum impact. Also, just because it's part of your MC's backstory doesn't mean you should reveal it. Somethings are better left never said. You as the writer know the entire truth behind the MC's story, but your audience may never know all the details. This builds the ultimate intrigue, especially when you hide clues in your visuals and dialogue as to the truth of what happened. Basically, all good stories should have a mystery subgenre.

4. I'm a little unsure of this as well. The game that I'm making has a bit of a depressing tone and I'm unsure how it'll be received. I think you may still be able to include the violent bits, but you have to build up sexual tension before getting into the steamy stuff. Don't do the crap that Hollywood likes to do with the "save the damsel in distress from rape, then proceed to fuck her right after, next to the corpses of her attempted rapists". You can have your heavy intense action moments then calm the pacing down with some slower scenes, then gradually build up the sexy scenes with some teasing, then get into the fucking. After the fucking, you can slowly build back up to the violent bits. Then the cycle repeats.

 

[M$hot]

Everything following this is my opinion so take it with a grain of salt.

1. There really isn't a way to quantify how many lines of text should suffice for introducing a main character as the amount varies depending on your method of introduction. The method I prefer, which I will call "show-don't-tell on steroids" might use no lines of dialogue at all to introduce the character.

Example: If I wanted to introduce a character, lower middle class worker who is absolutely tired of his 9-5 life, I might do it this way using almost no dialogue at all.

Show MC strewn across his bed.
Alarm goes off, its 8AM.
His body remains static but his arm reaches out to blindly attempt to hit the snooze button.
Eventually he gets it. Repeat at 8:05 and 8:10, finally he gets up.
We see the MC, he looks halfway dead already. Add absolutely terrible bedhead for comedic effect.
He gets ready, putting on his work attire, and lazily fixing his hair. There's some hair that's sticking up on his head, he doesn't care.
He leaves the house, outside it's a big city and we see he was living in an apartment.
Show montage of him getting coffee, getting on a subway train, then finally to his workplace.
His facial expression hasn't changed at all since the first time we've see him.
He presses up on the elevator. He waits a while for the elevator, the stairs clearly in our sights. A long moment later it opens and he gets in along with 3 others, two who dress like executives and one like management.
There are 40 floors, the executives press floor 38, management guy presses floor 23, our MC presses floor 2.
Floor 2, door opens. Massive amount of cubicles are shown.
MC almost doesn't want to leave the elevator, door begins to close before he finally steps out, narrowly missing the elevator doors.
MC gets to his cubicle, gets settled in, hands placed and on the keyboard and become a blur. We are fast forwarding through his day.
We can see an analog clock behind him that shows this.
Through the fast forwarding, his environment is constantly abuzz with activity and his hands constantly typing on the keyboard and answering the phone. One thing stays the same though, the blank dead expression on his face.
It's 5PM, he leaves work.
Show reverse montage of him getting back home.
Instead of going home straight from the subway, he takes a detour to the liquor store.
He gets in, gets a 6 pack of beer and goes to the counter. His face still expressionless.
In walks a beautiful girl who the cashier greets.
Finally MC breaks his expressionless state and tries, unsuccessfully, to stay calm and blank. He looks at her from the corner of his eye and subconsciously goes to scratch at his hair (that was sticking up) in a vain attempt to fix it.
She lines up behind him and he dares not look at her. He pays for his alcohol and leaves, trying to hide it from her sight.
He walks back home but every couple of steps he turns back to look at the store.
He returns home and drinks his night away.
Bam, its morning, repeat the events of yesterday but in fast forward.
Finally we're back in the liquor store, but this time the girl has arrived ahead of him.
When she goes to pay for her stuff, she realizes she left her wallet at home.
The cashier, noticing how the MC always looks at her, gives him a look implying "you gonna do anything?".
MC, in a combination of fear, shock, and excitement, offers to pay for her stuff.
This is the inciting incident that begins their romantic journey.

Probably two lines of dialogue at most here but all the personality of the MC is hidden behind his actions, his environment, and the things you'd expect him to do, but he doesn't. You could go with the standard but imo significantly weaker introduction by saying "Hi, I'm a 24 year old office worker who's tired of his 9-5 life. There's this girl that I see at the liquor store that I have a crush on." It still gets the point across but it's so much more boring to read that than to experience a slice of the MC's life. The only issue is, that's a ton of work, especially when you compare that to it's weaker alternative.

2. When it comes to this point, I like to give the audience something in the MC's personality that they can relate to, to latch onto. The nuance in the MC's personality due to his backstory that might deviate from norm, I give the bare minimum explanation to but sometimes not until much later in the story. I do this because we like mystery. If we know everything there is to know about a person, scenes with that character would be worse because its lacking intrigue, we'd lose the curiosity to learn more about them.

3. If the backstory is super dark, I'd start off with some slightly less dark stuff to get the audience settled in. If you go in too heavy with a focus on a character the audience has not attached themselves to, you lose all the emotional weight in those scenes. The audience doesn't yet have a reason to care for them. You want to reveal all the heavy stuff at the right moments in your story, after your audience has had a chance to attach themselves to your MC, for the maximum impact. Also, just because it's part of your MC's backstory doesn't mean you should reveal it. Somethings are better left never said. You as the writer know the entire truth behind the MC's story, but your audience may never know all the details. This builds the ultimate intrigue, especially when you hide clues in your visuals and dialogue as to the truth of what happened. Basically, all good stories should have a mystery subgenre.

4. I'm a little unsure of this as well. The game that I'm making has a bit of a depressing tone and I'm unsure how it'll be received. I think you may still be able to include the violent bits, but you have to build up sexual tension before getting into the steamy stuff. Don't do the crap that Hollywood likes to do with the "save the damsel in distress from rape, then proceed to fuck her right after, next to the corpses of her attempted rapists". You can have your heavy intense action moments then calm the pacing down with some slower scenes, then gradually build up the sexy scenes with some teasing, then get into the fucking. After the fucking, you can slowly build back up to the violent bits. Then the cycle repeats.

Fuck! I want to play the intro you described or watch that movie, I love that concept. I have read all you had to say and I am taking it on board, trust me on that! It's just a lot to respond to. And in my story, eventually you do rescue someone, but not because she's a woman but because it's a lesson your uncle taught you (protect the weak) and all it does is get you in good with her dad. I don't really find 'I saved you from a guy putting his dick in you, so now let me put my dick in you' to be believable, even for a porn game.

Thank you ever so much, this, along with the other replies really have given me a great amount of insight!
I feel my questions have now all truly been fully answered.

 

[Deleted member 1866322]

The context for the dark backstory is that I'm writing what I consider to be a reasonable backstory for how I imagine a minor might end up in the mob.

1.) An intro to the MC (really anyone or anything) should be memorable. It could be a few lines, a quote (maybe two quotes to show contradictions with mindsets), or an action. Mobsters tend to follow a religion (Catholicism mainly), so maybe a bible verse could be used?
Throw in images suggesting flashbacks/PTSD/memories for you to also give a small backstory. We know he is or will be fully initiated into the mob, but how did he get there or how did he meet them? (Rhetorical, don't answer or spoil).

Spoiler: Example 1

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2.) Full backstories tend to be information dumps that aren't memorable. Thought out conversations, self-reflection, actions, or flashbacks over the course of your game can hit sweet and dark spots for players.

Spoiler: Example 2

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Spoiler: Example 3

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3.) Your character has a backstory, make use of it! Again, try to avoid information dumps, it'll keeps things interesting. Let his true self seep out through actions, emotions, and dialogue throughout the game. Basically in episodic events.

4.) A skip button could potentially harm your narrative because it'll be a random popup option that looms around every violent scene. (The button would spoils when a violent scene is coming up.) Food for thought.

Don't take any of our answers or opinions to heart or as rules. You're the creative mastermind for your own project!
I'm honestly excited to hear a narrative with dark themes and violence is in the works!
And sorry for the ~ sucky ~ examples. It was just a quick write-up and I got too invested in trying to envision how I would portray a Mafia VN using some of the material you provided.
Sorry for all my examples using flashbacks; its how I'm writing portions for my VN.
Absolute, best of luck with your project! ( ＾－＾)!

 

[M$hot]

1.) An intro to the MC (really anyone or anything) should be memorable. It could be a few lines, a quote (maybe two quotes to show contradictions with mindsets), or an action. Mobsters tend to follow a religion (Catholicism mainly), so maybe a bible verse could be used?
Throw in images suggesting flashbacks/PTSD/memories for you to also give a small backstory. We know he is or will be fully initiated into the mob, but how did he get there or how did he meet them? (Rhetorical, don't answer or spoil).

Spoiler: Example 1

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2.) Full backstories tend to be information dumps that aren't memorable. Thought out conversations, self-reflection, actions, or flashbacks over the course of your game can hit sweet and dark spots for players.

Spoiler: Example 2

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Spoiler: Example 3

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3.) Your character has a backstory, make use of it! Again, try to avoid information dumps, it'll keeps things interesting. Let his true self seep out through actions, emotions, and dialogue throughout the game. Basically in episodic events.

4.) A skip button could potentially harm your narrative because it'll be a random popup option that looms around every violent scene. (The button would spoils when a violent scene is coming up.) Food for thought.

Don't take any of our answers or opinions to heart or as rules. You're the creative mastermind for your own project!
I'm honestly excited to hear a narrative with dark themes and violence is in the works!
And sorry for the ~ sucky ~ examples. It was just a quick write-up and I got too invested in trying to envision how I would portray a Mafia VN using some of the material you provided.
Sorry for all my examples using flashbacks; its how I'm writing portions for my VN.
Absolute, best of luck with your project! ( ＾－＾)!

Man, I love all of this and with this and all the other comments I've got enough food for thought to last me through quarantine! No but in all seriousness, I appreciate you taking the time to write out a well considered and super thought provoking comment!

I am looking to use real video/real porn because it will be a QSP game very very very loosely based on the concept of SoaB (mainly the engine, the sandbox aspect and the fact it will use no 2d/3dcg).
Was kind of thinking of not spending too much time actually with the mob. (for a reason I won't tell you) he has to flee them and go undercover in a small town, but he still carries his mobster past and general violent past with him. But man, I love your comment, it's going to have me thinking some more. I might not do anything with it as I do want to follow my own vision, but it might influence me to make my vision come to life in a better way. I had already realized I should avoid an exposition dump.

Regarding point 4, I was not really sure on using a skipping button as it would handicap the narrative, but you can put a Superman 'Wham' 'Pow' text on screen instead of the actual violent scene. I don't know if that would handicap it too much though.

 

[anne O'nymous]

Am I reading you right if I get 'show, don't tell' vibes from your response? [...]

You get it right. It's a visual novel (potentially extended by its game play), therefore you should be at least as visual than you are verbose. Sometimes it's not possible, but avoiding it every time it is should be your main goal as writer.