VN Ask for Feedback (kinda "User acceptance test")

[wildcat99sh]

Hi there,

as i had (and still have) to stay in bed due to a broken leg, what could be very boring, i started to think about a story (fantasy due to the pain killers?) and started to create a VN with Ren'Py with some renders made in DAZ.



The story is still development and i have almost every hour new ideas to add....

Right now i have 44 screens with 856 words in 86 dialog boxes, but for now and to keep the file small, i stripped it down for the first 8 scenes. (Yes, some logic is missing though, due to stripping)

You can download the sneak preview

You must be registered to see the links

.

What i would like to ask the community is
- do you think it is worth to go on or is it so bad to better stop and delete al the so far done work? (And yes, the here missing scenes are "little" hotter and i still do not know where the story will go to....)
- are there any obvious things i should change in Ren'Py (still learning, what a weird syntax....)
- I'm also thinking of distributing it "for money" (yes, i know in what kinda forum i am right now....) but where and how?

Any feedback, as long as it is not personal, is highly appreciated.

@Admins
1) My protagonists are 17, which is a legal age for having "physical contact", at least in Germany.
If this is still not appropriate for this forum, delete this post, give me a short message, but don't ban me immediately.
2) If this is not the right area, pls. move it.

Thanks a lot.

 

[Impenitent]

Hey buddy. Since you asked for feedback I'll give it to you honest: at this point in the development process, the game is very low quality.

Graphics look like something that might have been made ten years ago, and even then it doesn't look like you've spent nearly enough time on the characters, sets, or the individual renders. Creating a stylish looking game takes a monumental investment of time.

There's no story at all. Random girl comes into boy's room and immediately gets naked. That's incredibly boring.

At this point, you have not created a product that anyone will pay money for.

My advice: Spend a long time learning Daz before you attempt to create a game with it. Spend a long time creating a full-length story with fleshed out characters and an interesting plot before just throwing some random sex scenes into Ren'py and calling it a game.

And yes, your characters need to be 18.

Good luck!

 

[osanaiko]

I want to encourage you for taking the risk to show this game to us all.

I'm sure you already know that you have a long way to go. I agree with most of what Impenitent said about graphics, script and writing.

BUT: if you consider this as your "first steps" then the effort is not wasted. It is pushing over the first barrier of learning how to make a creative work.

Not every game must be a 10+ chapter epic that has gorgeous graphics and awesome script and takes 3 years to complete (if it is not abandoned). There are some seriously sexy games with relatively poor graphics - the sexiness comes from the writing and the scenarios. There are some beautiful games that are stupid and trivial in their writing - but some people like that anyway.

Good luck and keep working on your skills - the best way to get better is to repeat the action while being self-critical along the way. Volume of output ALWAYS is more important than going for perfect quality while you are learning.

 

[wildcat99sh]

Hey buddy. Since you asked for feedback I'll give it to you honest: at this point in the development process, the game is very low quality.

Graphics look like something that might have been made ten years ago, and even then it doesn't look like you've spent nearly enough time on the characters, sets, or the individual renders. Creating a stylish looking game takes a monumental investment of time.

There's no story at all. Random girl comes into boy's room and immediately gets naked. That's incredibly boring.

At this point, you have not created a product that anyone will pay money for.

My advice: Spend a long time learning Daz before you attempt to create a game with it. Spend a long time creating a full-length story with fleshed out characters and an interesting plot before just throwing some random sex scenes into Ren'py and calling it a game.

And yes, your characters need to be 18.

Good luck!

First of all, your feedback is personal somehow, but i will respond nonetheless, as my education was based among other behaviour on being polite.

1) Well, it might look boring, but the story more or less happeneed to me in my early years. Sorry, my life hasn't beeen boring so far....

2) I never talked about a "Game" but a story or novell. You can call it comic as well, but i decided to put it into RenPy instead of a PDF.

3) As stated in my posting i included only 8 out of 44 (>70 in the meantime) screens to keep the file-size small, therefore the story-idea got lost. Agree.

4) I've seen some comics, stills, pics, which are far from another quality, agree.
But there are many many others where the characters are totally over-designed (e.g. unnatural boobs or penis size) or the more a cartoon.
In my opinion i made the "middle-way" between HQ (almost photography) and LQ (like cartoons in hentai).

5) No, they don't have to be 18. The rules here says, that the persons shown in the pics must be of clear post-pubertal nature.
And regarding this, i'm fine. There might be countries (like the prude US) where this might be different, but here in Germany you are allowed to have sex without permission of the parents with 14 (as long as the partner is not more then 3 years older).
(This is not my personal opnion, but this is the law.)
Therefore i asked the admins (not a specific user) whether its fine or not. As i haven't recieved any feedback from the admins, i assume that my posting is ok.

6) If you don't like my idea...fine for me. It's a matter of "personal taste".
Finally i nevertheless appreciate your feedback, although i must suppose that you haven't my posting text properly (see especially bullet-points 2, 3 and 5).