Ren'Py Automaton Story [v0.1.4] [AngryFur]

[Neko_Kun]

This assumption is incorrect. There are two parts of this bug:
First part is within the script itself, where the next chapter for a certain person is pushed. Where exactly does that occur, I don't know, but it really doesn't matter at this point. And yes, I did managed to get that through a normal playthrough (fresh start), unfortunately, I missed the exact point where that happened.

The second part is a little simpler: The method that's rendering hints is missing a safeguard in case if the chapter number had been pushed out of bounds. The hint text doesn't render because Python throws a KeyError exception.

-S

Nice, awesome that you looked further into it.

Uhmm well essentially... let's see here.

View attachment 603050

This isn't that bad and not the best example. I'm going to keep it largely in-tact but change the grammar slightly;



So, the only thing I've really done is changing the tense of "had" to "have" since everything else is in the present test. So for a more natural English reader, it can create a bit of a pause/chop to read the tense change unless it is something like active past tense. But in this case it makes it sound like they no longer have their mother before stating she is still in the picture. Changing "but" to "who" is more just giving her more presence as a person.

Visiting is more me just liking Shakespearian writing and viewing it more as the act of someone who visits. And for the "the two/siblings" thing gives them their agency too and a bit more connection. But it's little things like this which can lead to a person tripping over words as they read it and making it more exhausting to read. You want that flow;

View attachment 603056

An issue this has is it's a little too sticky too, and it has a lot of transitions. It's a bit of a run-on as well... this would be a bit hard to read on the Flesh-Kincaid scale. Let's remove some transitions and at least 2 commas.



View attachment 603494



The person seems like they might speak English as a second language, but they are VERY good at English! Like... very good at English, but they just need a little push to localize and make things feel a bit more natural in terms of dialogue. Some slang, some turns of phrase, in the dialogue he needs to actually be LESS accurate haha. But still, I love this game so far I just hope readability gets a bit improved.

I can definitely see where that criticism comes from. Appreciate the examples!

 

[Valaska]

Nice, awesome that you looked further into it.

I can definitely see where that criticism comes from. Appreciate the examples!

Yeh! But I definitely mean this from a place of love. Even without adjustments, I still want to see this project etc but I feel I'd drop my overall rating for its writing a point or so. I'd still happily pledge to it though, which I am pledging to it now. It seems like the story and characters will be more than enough to make me read on!

But yeah it's just a little sticky as we writers say. Sticky/Glue index is like, variances of tens/consistency or saying "do not like" rather than "don't like" that makes the majority of readers aftually slow down and stick on the world. The Flesch Kindaid
scale have a formula to figure out how long a reader on average would take to read a paragraph. The way I edited them drops it from 8 seconds to aboot 4. It's a small thing you really only learn by actually doing it and hearing feedback

 

[Neko_Kun]

Yeh! But I definitely mean this from a place of love. Even without adjustments, I still want to see this project etc but I feel I'd drop my overall rating for its writing a point or so. I'd still happily pledge to it though, which I am pledging to it now. It seems like the story and characters will be more than enough to make me read on!

But yeah it's just a little sticky as we writers say. Sticky/Glue index is like, variances of tens/consistency or saying "do not like" rather than "don't like" that makes the majority of readers aftually slow down and stick on the world. The Flesch Kindaid
scale have a formula to figure out how long a reader on average would take to read a paragraph. The way I edited them drops it from 8 seconds to aboot 4. It's a small thing you really only learn by actually doing it and hearing feedback

Yeah, it makes good sense. I'm an avid writer as well, mostly for roleplaying forums and creative writing exercises, and getting proper critique in those types of communities are rare and difficult to get, as it's too much blind support.

 

[Valaska]

Yeah, it makes good sense. I'm an avid writer as well, mostly for roleplaying forums and creative writing exercises, and getting proper critique in those types of communities are rare and difficult to get, as it's too much blind support.

Haha yeah, I get quite a bit over on my project. I need to get in and edit out a lot of typos eventually. But the sheer volume of text makes it so I am under crunch a lot ._. but still, it's important to go "Hm mkay yeah this does need to change/getfixed/considered."

Originally I wrote dialogue and narration like I was writing a fuckin... novel haha. A lot of people liked it but it was definitely too long for a game. I've since kept those to a minimum, time to time splurging on narration but I am holding it back more. Makes writing a bit harder for me since that's my natural go-to writing style, but heck, it was a good learning experience. Still learning.

 

[Deleted member 1921707]

This could be a really great game if the developer sticks with it. I've played that last few versions and it's unfortunate that there's still basic sketches for the backgrounds. I'm sure making a game like this isn't easy if only one person is doing it. I was really hoping for more progress in the game with the automaton, but it's still really lacking story wise.

I would love to support the dev, but hesitant because of the lack of or wip areas in the game. Overall the game is great so far because of the uniqueness of the game.

Just played more of the current version and really disappointed that the storyline of the sister or automaton haven't progressed. I'm not sure when the first version came out, but I've been keeping tabs on the game for a few months now. I would give it a 3 star rating just for the concept of the game.

 

[Neko_Kun]

This could be a really great game if the developer sticks with it. I've played that last few versions and it's unfortunate that there's still basic sketches for the backgrounds. I'm sure making a game like this isn't easy if only one person is doing it. I was really hoping for more progress in the game with the automaton, but it's still really lacking story wise.

I would love to support the dev, but hesitant because of the lack of or wip areas in the game. Overall the game is great so far because of the uniqueness of the game.

Just played more of the current version and really disappointed that the storyline of the sister or automaton haven't progressed. I'm not sure when the first version came out, but I've been keeping tabs on the game for a few months now. I would give it a 3 star rating just for the concept of the game.

I can definitely see your point and I agree with your concerns.
I would note though that it primarily is just 1 person doing 99% of the work and with minor assists on texts and bugtesting from community members around AngryFur. The funds on Patreon helps enabling them to further dedicate their time to work on the game.

 

[Valaska]

Yeah, there's really no problem with the pace things have been developing yet. This project looks pretty young in its development cycle and they're putting out a pretty impressive bit of content for the timeframe they've been working. These sketches are great imo because it allows them to really show where they want to eventually be going.

It's... pretty damn early to throw down 3 stars "just because of the art" haha, the project has a ton of potential and really any hugely negative downvotes should probably be held off until the 8 month situation.

 

[solid_snake]

It's... pretty damn early to throw down 3 stars "just because of the art" haha, the project has a ton of potential and really any hugely negative downvotes should probably be held off until the 8 month situation.

From what I saw those 3 stars were just a mental notice, not an actual review. Sure, concerns are justified, just like with every project on here that's listed on these pages. There are only a handful of... games? Interactive visual novels? that are handled by larger teams. The only "novels" that I know of is Daughter for Desert and all of Mr. Dots games (Melody, DMD,...) and even those can disband. Just look at the team behind High Life -- Impressively made, but there was only a single release before the team fell apart, and the project became abandoned.

So, as said, concern is certainly justified. The project is certainly quite big already, and it's continuing to grow.

And yet, given the care for both; code as well as art (the little tidbits on his Patreon are soo cool), I'm happy to throw some money and some brainpower to help the project out.

And while we're on the topic of bad reviews -- One of the first reviews here was "The art is nice, and the premise seems decent, but... your name is AngryFur? Seriously! Worst name ever! One star!"

... I really really wish I was joking...
-S

 

[Valaska]

From what I saw those 3 stars were just a mental notice, not an actual review. Sure, concerns are justified, just like with every project on here that's listed on these pages. There are only a handful of... games? Interactive visual novels? that are handled by larger teams. The only "novels" that I know of is Daughter for Desert and all of Mr. Dots games (Melody, DMD,...) and even those can disband. Just look at the team behind High Life -- Impressively made, but there was only a single release before the team fell apart, and the project is abandoned.

So, as said, concern is certainly justified. The project is certainly quite big already, and it's continuing to grow.

And yet, given the care for both; code as well as art (the little tidbits on his Patreon are soo cool), I'm happy to throw some money and some brainpower to help the project out.

And while we're on the topic of bad reviews -- One of the first reviews here was "The art is nice, and the premise seems decent, but... your name is AngryFur? Seriously! Worst name ever! One star!"

... I really really wish I was joking...
-S

That review actually is why I wrote up a review. I am thinking of doing a few... as a fellow dev it's kind of awkward reviewing other peoples stuff though so I tend to only do it on things that I really like which might make it seem like I am being too nice? lol

 

[BuPa]

I'm looking to give this game a go, but I'm having issues with the patch – namely, it doesn't do anything. I've placed it into the autorun/game folder just as I have a hundred times with a hundred games, but I still have a roommate instead of a sister, and the title screen doesn't have anything special under the game's version number.

Should my patch.rpy file contain anything other than the 'default SISrel = "sister"' that it does? Could this be a Mac issue somehow, even though I've never had a problem with any other patches in this vein?

I'd really appreciate the help, thanks. The scene where you take your panda friend home to look at the automaton and he says "roommate" like two times a sentence has really pounded it into my head that I'd rather be playing the patched version, haha.

 

[solid_snake]

namely, it doesn't do anything. I've placed it into the autorun/game folder just as I have a hundred times with a hundred games, but I still have a roommate instead of a sister, and the title screen doesn't have anything special under the game's version number.

Hm.

Try this one instead? The instructions are the same...

-S

 

[BuPa]

Try this one instead?

Success! Much appreciated, snake. Did you have to compile that from the original Lewdpatcher patch yourself, somehow?

 

[solid_snake]

Success! Much appreciated, snake. Did you have to compile that from the original Lewdpatcher patch yourself, somehow?

Ren'Py is supposed to do that on its own... I don't know why this doesn't happen on a mac, sorry, but it's more than enough to drop an empty file (patch.rpy) into the game folder on a pc.

I think that the author needs to update that lewdpatcher site.

Thanks for reporting the issue ^^

-S

 

[Laehl]

I am actually having a similar issue, but on PC. Putting it in the game folder but when I open the game and start a new game, it doesn't work, it starts as if it didn't have the patch there.I tried both ways OP says to do it, the patch zip that was given, and everything to no avail. It even says patched on the main menu.

 

[solid_snake]

I am actually having a similar issue, but on PC. Putting it in the game folder but when I open the game and start a new game, it doesn't work, it starts as if it didn't have the patch there.I tried both ways OP says to do it, the patch zip that was given, and everything to no avail. It even says patched on the main menu.

It's a bug, unfortunately. It seems that the game needs both files; patch.rpy AND patch.rpyc. I believe this is fixed in the next version, but for the time being, just throw both files in the game/ folder.

Edit: Just checked, and it seems that the only check that fails (for patch.rpyc) is in the intro scene. Rest is fine. It's fixed in the upcoming version, though.

-S

 

[cahyo095]

please help me

 

[Valaska]

please help me

P.sure that's it, you're done for now if you can get automaton to spread her legs.

 

[fulcrum]

as far as i have seen, rpyC are compiled rpy files and that happens automaticaly when you start the game exe.

 

[Deleted member 89670]

So, I assume there's going to be some more story between the "roommates", before he decides to just put his hands between her legs during the night?

 

[oblivion9900]

it downloaded as a gamespy arcade file, is that intentional?