Ren'Py - Abandoned - Banshee Town - Inception [v0.3] [MackBook]

v0.3

The animations are decent.

I didnt recognize any of the backgrounds. So not many are recycled if any.

Most of the models are recycled. Good mix of body types.

The music was "off" for whatever reason, several times I noticed it and almost cringed.

The story is actually decent, but it is written in the worst possible way, or at least, that is how it was translated into the game. The "criminal mastermind" (I am fucking good at it) is an idiot on so many levels it breaks immersion. If this was a parody of mafia games, I would give it 3 stars with very few tweaks needed. Or maybe this is bad for a different reason... maybe the choices you give mean nothing, and you just drive on with the story. If that is the case, you need to hide it better. You dont tell your bitch of a sister to get out of your life for helping to ruin yours, and then in the next scene act like you are so so happy to see her.. Then you inner monologue how beautiful she is, when she is a big mac and a small fry away from being a fat cow...

Sorry... that is uncalled for. I dont know why, but this game really rubbed me wrong. Wasted potential?

Fix your story and or logic. Your criminal mastermind should make smarter business decisions. Start over from scratch reusing alot of your previous work, and it will be a ton better.

You are on the track next to the right track. You have a good eye for the visual stuff, just fix the novel side of it.

Thanks for sharing your hard work. I hope to see something better from you in the future, you can do it.

I really enjoyed the plot so far. It really drew me in and made me feel empathic for the MC. The characters all seem to have their own personalities, wants, and desires.

I like the renders even though I believe a couple of the girls look a little street rough. Ashley is a supposedly high end stripper who has a huge clientele. She does have a decent looking body but her face looks like she spent one to many nights at an all you can smoke meth buffet. Along with the MC's older sister who is also a little rough looking.

The overall story does seem promising and I will definitely continue to follow future updates in bated anticipation.

*Sigh*

Firstly, this game needs a proofreader. Let's get that out the way at the beginning. It's not the worst I've ever seen but it's not good.

Okay so hopefully this can be mostly taken as constructive criticism. The reason why I review this one is because it happened to catch my eye and it's supposedly in a field of storytelling that I really love though at the moment it doesn't really belong there. This review does have SPOILERS in it but not all the way through as I was unable to finish this game.

So those who want their games with realistic stories, might not love this one. Quickly the game is about a man who was kicked out of his family and families' home by his father for dating one of the father's enemy's daughter..... Okay, let's press on. The MC decides he wants to take revenge on his father by making him pay so he'll (I assume) become a bigger mobster than his father. Ohh yeah his father is in the "mafia". So the MC wants to make a "mafia" of his own as well to get back at his father.

He starts off with one guy loyal to him. In the beginning your in the middle of a pretty lucrative deal to make something happen and you get to decide if you want to be upfront and honest with you business partner on this deal or not. Playing the mobster I decided not to, don't know the consequences as I wasn't able to push myself through the finish of this game. After the deal is done one night your sister wanders into your club to see you. She finds you after all this time.

You get the choice to try and be mature about things and hear her out and forgive her, or hold a grudge against her because she never was able to reach out to you since you got kicked out. I forgive her because I wanted to know where this was going. You find out that your sister did try to reach out to you but your father blocked it. He also forced her into a marriage with another mobsters son who abuses her and treats her poorly. So the MC's father is racking up villain and worse father points and the MC and his sister reconcile. Another night she comes to your place after getting beat by her husband. You arrange for him to be taken and held at your club where you give him a beating. You can then kill him or let him go. It was at this time I began to check out.

Okay so this game features the "mafia", but the person writing this I don't think knows more than basic knowledge about the mafia. Stuff that you can pull from movies and TV shows and not the in depth ones either. In the mafia, you don't directly interfere in marriages. You don't kidnap mobsters sons and kill them at your own discretion. The MC wants to start a "mafia family" of his own. That just doesn't happen. Also the word mafia and "mafia leaders" get thrown around here in this game like crazy. That also doesn't happen. So my immersion was broken pretty early on.

That's my fault. I probably expect too much from games here that make mention of the mob/mafia or underworld. So that one may be on me. But a little bit of research and effort make and okay game a good game, and a good game a great game. The closes representation to the real mafia in games on this site would have to be the Deluca Family. It doesn't get everything right, but it tries and it does get some things right, dare I say a lot of things right.

The game had me completely check out one it became sandbox and also once the MC's other sister stabs some guy in the bathroom trying to assault her and kills him. How or why? Idk I couldn't take it serious anymore. I mention the scene before that the MC just straight up kung fu'd some dude in the bar who was harrassing his sister's friend. All the women in this game the MC comes across automatically want to fuck him and think he's a 10 out of 10. It's just all over the place.

The game takes itself serious, if it was a parody I might have found it humorous and laughed but trying to take it serious doesn't work, not for me at least. The graphics are okay. Borderline bad but okay. The girls have extremely shapely bodies. Few are slim but those ones usually have a body full of huge tattoos or wild hair or something else. The writing needs work. There's names of people being called "money bitch" and "death expert" which sounds like something a teenager would come up with.

It needs work. At least if it was clean and edited properly it'd have that going for it, but again this is all just mu opinion. I don't think this game is in a good spot right now. The concept is alright but it needs work all around to make it decent or average. Honestly people can get a better "mafia" story from other games on this site, which sucks because there's so few of quality and I'd like it if there were more being I love the genre. As far as revenge plots go? Eh, it's okay I guess I mean I haven't really seen him see it through so I guess it could wok but I mean if in the end he's just gonna kill his father it's gonna be pretty anticlimactic honestly. Idk. I wish the dev best of luck though. There's a lot of people here that will slap 5 stars on anything that has fucking in it and the animations in this game (The two that I saw) weren't bad at all so it has that going for it. But for those looking for a story or a good game, I don't think this is it.

The story and graphics look very promising. Although the quality of the sex scenes are not that good, I hope that you will be able to improve with updates goes on. Overall a good start. The character development is pretty good too

I won't even consider the grammar problems, because Dev. has already warned that he is not a native and is already seeking help for this which is already a solution given by him (some ignore and don't even answer when we argue about grammar).
A lot of potential that can yield several updates and even so would not lack what to explore, because Mafia is something that opens much what to explore in relation to content. The same way it allows a lot of content to explore is extremely dangerous because it can lose focus easily and not be able to realize, which can destroy the whole project.
What we can do is bet on the success of the game which is something that pleases people (I don't remember seeing someone commenting that doesn't like the Mafia theme)

Good luck and plan well what you're going to explore and don't try to approach everything at once or you'll get too superficial (we've seen a lot of good games ruined by this) or even add a lot of models, sometimes it's better few models with a good content than many with little content.

good start. there is some engrish but it isnt too bad. and some spelling mistakes again its not that bad. the models are good. they did a pretty good job of setting the tone and keeping me interested in the story. looking forward to seeing where this one goes.

Okay, I can't say much because is just a prologue and unless there is a bug that throws you to the main menu, the game ends abruptly after a few scenes. Not quite enough to see all the potential but here is what I can say for now.

The plot seems like it will be interesting and we can always use more Mafia games.
The renders and the girls looks good, the animation is good enough though the pov could have been more close rather than a 3rd view.
Certainly, something that can be improved in the future.
The only thing this game need is a grammar editor.
will update this in the future since there is no much content to go on for now.