Being a Game Developer [Negative Comments/Constructive Criticism]

[Gozer]

Make the game that YOU want to make,Grow a pair and shrug off the negative comments. People will always like or dislike what you're working on,Deal with it.

 

[9thCrux]

And you and me and a guy that delivers my mail. We are all in this together.
Sounds negative to me without proper critique. Think twice before you write anything.
Yes, this is sarcasm.

So the OP is sadly saying "please be kind to me that doesn't help me" and/or "please be kind to them, their feelings are hurt and they lost motivation because of it"... that is not gonna happen, people will say what they feel like saying, or typing in this case, specially if people is mad about some abrupt change in a game, a demented, silly, or childish plot, or any other reason.

Grow a backbone, you feeling upset about comments is not change the way people express themselves.

 

[JustNotFatal]

I am both a "failed" game developer and project manager. My dream was to be a video game producer.I spent around 4 years in college building games and learning the business aspects of things. I've met several professional devs,attended GDC, visited studios, and I even have my name on a AAA game.

The reason why I state this is because over the years I've learned a great deal about being a game dev.

Obviously negativity isn't fun or easy to deal with, since in the back of your head you think, "what if they're right."

However, people criticize (including myself) because something is not meeting their expectations.

I get that a comment like "this is shit" isn't helpful because it doesn't directly identify a grievance.

Sadly though, it isn't the consumers job or obligation to constructively criticize your work, it's yours.

Ultimately, what matters most is your own (and team's) commitment to the project and a willingness to grow,learn,and improve.

Personally I quit due to the fact that I realized I wasn't good at it and saw very little actual improvement.

Just my opinion and perhaps it helps a bit.

 

[CuriousG08]

Extreme negativity in comments can be soul crushing. It would be nice if everyone would be constructive with their criticism, but we all know that it is an unrealistic expectation. I think it is absolutely necessary for developers to harden their hearts somewhat. They need to expect at least some negativity, even if wholly unjust, and develop a thick skin to overcome it or they will be crushed by despair and end up giving up before they have even reached their full potential.

 

[polywog]

20 years of global warming has sure created a lot of snowflakes.

 

[Aeilion]

Translate sentence in your head... If you read "Your game sucks" or something like that just translate it in "I don't like your game" and move on...

At worst ... ask yourself the following question: Do you produce a game for everyone to like or produce a game so that at least one person likes it?

If this is the first answer then yes stop right now because it will never happen. On the other hand if it's the second one, in this case unless you have an explanation from the person, you have no way of being able to change the fact that he/she does not like the game so don't pay attention.

And work for all those who like your game.

 

[polywog]

 

[Yoshiiki]

I'm pretty sure if your parents called you a "little piece of worthless shit" on the daily, that might make you feel kind of bad. Even if they didn't throw rocks at you. If your significant other called you a "waste of human life" daily, it might be upsetting. Even if they didn't throw rocks. If your boss called you a "fucking idiot" in front of everyone, even just once, but they didn't throw sticks or rocks at you, it might still make you feel like shit. Or not, I guess. Because words don't actually hurt at all.

Oh boy, I can already tell I will upset a lot of people, but whatever.
Bad parents, leave or find means to leave, longer it takes for you to realize that, longer you will have to deal with it.
Oh yeah, that sure is a great "significant" other, don't be stupid, this relationship is pointless.
Great boss, call him piece of fucking shit and move on.
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Yeah, even though you were sarcastic there, words don't hurt, I have yet to see a case when after saying something someone got beaten up by an air coming out of mouth.
But you don't understand, those hurt feelings! Oh, for fuck's sake... From what I am seeing, most devs are men, so man the fuck up. I have no idea what's with this feelings that, feelings this while instead of being surrounded by women to say that, all I see are dicks. Life is tough, that sack between your legs isn't to tickle it for fun, it means you have to act like a man. You want to get something in life? Good, successful people are strong mentally. You want to fight back mean comments? Fine. You have enough mental strength to just ignore useless crap? Good. You want to cry? Get the fuck out.
This whole issue is just cringy and stupid.
How could you say that?! Not every guy needs to act like that! Some have feelings and you just hurt them! Good. Not a damn given.

 

[polywog]

You must be registered to see the links

 

[Yoshiiki]

I'd actually deleted my post before you finished writing your reply, but I guess you both saw it first. I deleted it because I realized it was a waste of time. Also, I'm not a man, so I don't really get the need to "act like one" as you so helpfully point out several times.

I'm sorry but you truly come across as someone who is hurting badly inside. Your words betray you, and I hope you can find peace in your life some day. Until then, take care.

Well, if you think your own opinions are a waste of time, then I am not going to stop you.

Great, online therapy. Thanks but no thanks. Though... it seems there is a group that may need some counseling after some mean words. But apparently it's not some huge issue of mass attacks, but few people being angry and not letting go while it seems that some other people never been criticized in whatever form and can't handle it.

 

[muttdoggy]

I'm a man and I agree with @redcherry's point.
@Yoshiiki - You are fond of saying "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." It is only true in specific circumstances. It cannot be a blanket statement. Case in point- a man is shot with a bullet and he survived. BUT- he now has torn muscles and scar tissue. Of course, that didn't make him physically stronger.
Same thing with words. You can tell yourself that "You're stronger than that" but you're forgetting something. Words have a lasting effect, too. I'm a son, a brother, a father, and a friend to many. I wouldn't be a good father, son, or friend if I didn't notice and try to to understand the words they have to hear. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had to sit and listen to voices processing emotions roiled by words. But by them learning the ability to accept and process their emotions as a result of words or pain, they learn to become stronger. Even after the strength is gained, the words will come back to haunt you again. Physical pain is often temporary, words are not.
You're still in this thread trying to prove a point. This shows that our words, our letters, and our sentences are having an effect on you whereas you feel the need to constantly prove a "manly" point. Sometimes, being a stronger man is to admit your weaknesses, your failures, and open the soul to wounding because you're strong enough to take it. And may I suggest not attacking girls? They have the physical fortitude to go through childbirth, have no issues cleaning up blood, and have the mental toughness to deal with much more backbiting on a daily basis then most men see in their lives. Just a heads up.

 

[polywog]

 

[Yoshiiki]

This is going slightly offtopic.

I'm a man and I agree with @redcherry's point.
@Yoshiiki - You are fond of saying "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." It is only true in specific circumstances. It cannot be a blanket statement. Case in point- a man is shot with a bullet and he survived. BUT- he now has torn muscles and scar tissue. Of course, that didn't make him physically stronger.

Great point, cool story, but we are talking about words (and feelings it seems), I would call it quite specific circumstance. It's quite obvious from context and literally said more than once. Let's get to actual "point" which is after this part.

Same thing with words.

Words aren't projectiles, so no.

You can tell yourself that "You're stronger than that" but you're forgetting something. Words have a lasting effect, too. I'm a son, a brother, a father, and a friend to many. I wouldn't be a good father, son, or friend if I didn't notice and try to to understand the words they have to hear. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had to sit and listen to voices processing emotions roiled by words. But by them learning the ability to accept and process their emotions as a result of words or pain, they learn to become stronger. Even after the strength is gained, the words will come back to haunt you again. Physical pain is often temporary, words are not.

That's a lot of extra for one sentence. Well, since you went with that bullet example, let me do the same. No, words are temporary and language is constantly changing. Some words will become archaic and not used anymore, some will change meaning, some new words will show up. Rapid Internet era already accomplished a lot in this topic.
According to what you say, I should have been hunted for decades. I don't see it.
Words can get to you if you let them, it's all in person's head. If we get overly emotional with everything that everyone says, we end up in paranoid society that lies to themselves to not hurt other people's feelings. I would rather shoot myself in the head than be part of that. Luckily, that won't be the case.

You're still in this thread trying to prove a point.

There was never a point to be proven. Most of this thread is just pure arguing that is not going anywhere. Mostly pointing fingers left and right. Doubt it will achieve anything, but it's fun as heck.

This shows that our words, our letters, and our sentences are having an effect on you whereas you feel the need to constantly prove a "manly" point.

Again, what's with the "feel"? Yeah, generally if it's a banter/discussion/arguing then some response is expected. I THINK it's how it normally goes.

Sometimes, being a stronger man is to admit your weaknesses, your failures, and open the soul to wounding because you're strong enough to take it.

My soul said it's not masochistic enough to get wounded without a fight, so it seems I am screwed.

And may I suggest not attacking girls?

And may I suggest not lying? And to be honest, I was waiting for someone to come up with it. But please, show me that "attack" without forcing things. I bet this will be good.

They have the physical fortitude to go through childbirth, have no issues cleaning up blood, and have the mental toughness to deal with much more backbiting on a daily basis then most men see in their lives. Just a heads up.

Oh, wow, thanks for the advice! I never knew! But I think I will manage, maybe let some of that wounding of my soul to ease things up.

Some angry mod will ban me over this. You are preaching a lot but not making much of an argument. It's not that hard to do, trust me, it also is generally pointless. I think it has to do something with replying to a girl and having a moral high ground.
Where is that constructive criticism?
If you want some offtopic and have philosophical talk, you can send me a PM. I swear, polywog posting just images brings more to the table than whatever this was.

 

[Studio Errilhl]

Trolling is not an art. It's shitty people doing shitty things for... lols. Or just because they're sad human beings. While this is not really any better or more progressive, and probably is also seen as "pointing fingers" - there is something to the remarks about constructive critisism, though. Blasting out "your game sucks" is... of no use for anybody. Yes, the game might suck, but a blanket statement like that doesn't help the developer to better it.

Nor does it help the person uttering it - unless that person is in some need of asserting himself on the behest of others.

Constructive critisism, however, can help - and if you cannot provide it, why not just shut up about it?

Especially on a forum like this, where "noone" pays anything for anything. Getting stuff for free, and then shooting it down because you, for some reason, feels you have wasted your time, or whatever else, is stupid and unproductive.

If you have paid for a product, you might have a small reason to complain - the price of most games / support pledges, however, means you're paying less money for a game than what most Steam-games cost, or the same as a cheap McD-burger. It's not the end of the world to lose a few dollars, seriously.

While it's fine to wanna lash out when you feel wronged, feeling wronged because you played something that didn't live up to your expectations is... well, this is where the real snowflakes comes into play. Just delete the game from the harddrive, and forget about it.

 

[Yoshiiki]

Trolling is not an art. It's shitty people doing shitty things for... lols. Or just because they're sad human beings. While this is not really any better or more progressive, and probably is also seen as "pointing fingers" - there is something to the remarks about constructive critisism, though. Blasting out "your game sucks" is... of no use for anybody. Yes, the game might suck, but a blanket statement like that doesn't help the developer to better it.

Stop being salty and mixing angry people with trolls. One of those don't enjoy fucking with people for fun. Also, trolls usually don't bother with level headed people, because lack of autistic reaction is boring.

Nor does it help the person uttering it - unless that person is in some need of asserting himself on the behest of others.

So... What you and me are doing here right now?

Constructive critisism, however, can help - and if you cannot provide it, why not just shut up about it?

Why not just shut up about whining? Really not that hard.
You can ask people to leave only constructive comments (and positive ones, because come on, don't bullshit me on that) . What about those that don't give a fuck? Enforcing them? Good luck, it won't backfire at all.

Especially on a forum like this, where "noone" pays anything for anything. Getting stuff for free, and then shooting it down because you, for some reason, feels you have wasted your time, or whatever else, is stupid and unproductive.

Aww, this is where it hurts. People shaming bad games and not paying for it. Don't say bad things and gib monies. Also, not pointed at you, because no idea about your game. You can however take it personally if you want

If you have paid for a product, you might have a small reason to complain - the price of most games / support pledges, however, means you're paying less money for a game than what most Steam-games cost, or the same as a cheap McD-burger. It's not the end of the world to lose a few dollars, seriously.

Bullshit. It's most of the time: pay $5-$10 to get access to latest version, then development goes for years and apparently, you are paying $60 after one year. Sounds like AAA game price to me. Or teasing supporters to give bigger pledge so they don't have to wait month or a week or whatever. And a lot of time content is scarce only to post something once a month so cows don't go away. No wonder people prefer to pirate when devs use obvious methods to milk as much as possible, like a fucking scammers. So yeah, fuck off with that.

While it's fine to wanna lash out when you feel wronged, feeling wronged because you played something that didn't live up to your expectations is... well, this is where the real snowflakes comes into play. Just delete the game from the harddrive, and forget about it.

Fuck that advice, go and complain.

 

[Studio Errilhl]

Stop being salty and mixing angry people with trolls. One of those don't enjoy fucking with people for fun. Also, trolls usually don't bother with level headed people, because lack of autistic reaction is boring.

You're not an angry person (or, well, you might be that as well), you're at least very close to a troll. You're arguing just for the sake of argument, and (further down) you're also being rude and crass just for the sake of being rude or crass.

So... What you and me are doing here right now?

To some extent, yes.

Why not just shut up about whining? Really not that hard.
You can ask people to leave only constructive comments (and positive ones, because come on, don't bullshit me on that) . What about those that don't give a fuck? Enforcing them? Good luck, it won't backfire at all.

Those who don't give a fuck is sort of exactly what we're discussing. They're also known as trolls. Not giving a fuck is fine - but the point is, if you really don't give a fuck, you wouldn't bother commenting at all.

Aww, this is where it hurts. People shaming bad games and not paying for it. Don't say bad things and gib monies. Also, not pointed at you, because no idea about your game. You can however take it personally if you want

I'm not taking it personally. There are truly horrific games out there. Mine might be one of them - I don't think so, but others might. And I'm again not against saying bad things. There are, however, ways to say bad things that can help better the product you're bashing, and ways to say bad things that doesn't help at all.

Bullshit. It's most of the time: pay $5-$10 to get access to latest version, then development goes for years and apparently, you are paying $60 after one year. Sounds like AAA game price to me. Or teasing supporters to give bigger pledge so they don't have to wait month or a week or whatever. And a lot of time content is scarce only to post something once a month so cows don't go away. No wonder people prefer to pirate when devs use obvious methods to milk as much as possible, like a fucking scammers. So yeah, fuck off with that.

You chose to support an artist. Yes, some does of course "scam" money... the most popular games, however, have constant updates, and decent ones at that. It's not that hard finding good games if you want to. And no, the monthly payments aren't really "paying for the game" - you're supporting the artist. You pay them to create, not that particular game, necessarily. Looking at Patreon-games the same way you do micropayments in mobile games, for instance, is unfair to the Patreon way of doing it.

Fuck that advice, go and complain.

I'm actually trying to get people to complain less.

 

[Yoshiiki]

You're not an angry person (or, well, you might be that as well), you're at least very close to a troll. You're arguing just for the sake of argument, and (further down) you're also being rude and crass just for the sake of being rude or crass.

Cry me a salty river.

Those who don't give a fuck is sort of exactly what we're discussing. They're also known as trolls. Not giving a fuck is fine - but the point is, if you really don't give a fuck, you wouldn't bother commenting at all.

Ohohoho, so now we will slander them with troll argument, that's good. Every negative comment is a troll now. That's a nice spin! Because it doesn't make sense why anyone would leave a bad comment. Bigger and better tried what you are doing, didn't work for them, won't work for you, people aren't as dumb as you think they are
Yes, unlike you, those people don't give a fuck about your feelings or what you think about them. You could learn a thing or two.

I'm not taking it personally. There are truly horrific games out there. Mine might be one of them - I don't think so, but others might. And I'm again not against saying bad things. There are, however, ways to say bad things that can help better the product you're bashing, and ways to say bad things that doesn't help at all.

Here is some reality: Dev is responsible for making the game, not his clients. Just like bug hunting, people do it for free while paying with pledge, which most devs expect like a damn vultures. It's not a player's job to make the game better and while they may leave a comment explaining issues, it's their whim to do so and no one should expect that as a natural thing. Stop asking supporting people to do your job.

You chose to support an artist. Yes, some does of course "scam" money... the most popular games, however, have constant updates, and decent ones at that. It's not that hard finding good games if you want to. And no, the monthly payments aren't really "paying for the game" - you're supporting the artist. You pay them to create, not that particular game, necessarily. Looking at Patreon-games the same way you do micropayments in mobile games, for instance, is unfair to the Patreon way of doing it.

I love how tone of whole post changed into this bad damage control with avoiding main issue of actual costs of patreon supported games and methods used to milk as much as possible. I fucking wonder why?
Anyway, you are supporting a product, if it's going to be free, then technically it's a payment for a creator. If it's a product that's going to be sold, whole money should be used only for development. Fucking twats abuse this left and right and while using that money to pay for creator's living expenses is ok, main expected income should be from sales. End of fucking story. Stop abusing people's money, they work hard for it and so should you.

I'm actually trying to get people to complain less.

I can fucking tell. I wonder why? Oh, because if people complain then it's bad for getting more monetary support? Maybe there is a good damn reason. But no, everyone is a troll and just want to make some random dev's life miserable. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. People don't complain without reason. But something tells me you are fully aware of that and just afraid to accept that reality isn't how you hope it is.

 

[Studio Errilhl]

Ohohoho, so now we will slander them with troll argument, that's good. Every negative comment is a troll now. That's a nice spin! Because it doesn't make sense why anyone would leave a bad comment. Bigger and better tried what you are doing, didn't work for them, won't work for you, people aren't as dumb as you think they are
Yes, unlike you, those people don't give a fuck about your feelings or what you think about them. You could learn a thing or two.

First off, I never said anything about everybody leaving a negative comment being a troll. I would suggest reading-comprehension lessons. Second, I fail to see why being polite is seen as a weekness these days? It's not really helping civilised discourse.

Here is some reality: Dev is responsible for making the game, not his clients. Just like bug hunting, people do it for free while paying with pledge, which most devs expect like a damn vultures. It's not a player's job to make the game better and while they may leave a comment explaining issues, it's their whim to do so and no one should expect that as a natural thing. Stop asking supporting people to do your job.

It's completely fair to say that the dev is responsible for creating a game. However, creating games is a lot of work, and expecting to get it for free, without contributing, is pretty arrogant. Note that games that are in alpha/beta stages, and are posted here, is _FREE_. Maybe not the very last version, but usually the version before the current Patreon one (or, if one have several Patreon levels, at least the latest free version is just that - freely available. My point here is (as I've tried to convey before) is that people who get something for free, shouldn't feel they're entitled to anything but ... well, nothing. They've already gotten the game for free. If the game sucks... then just go on to the next one. Also, bug-testing is sort of a big field. There are plenty of things a small or one-man dev-team can't even begin to test for - for instance a lot of different PC-systems, which may or may not contribute to errors. Asking for bug-reports is a farily common thing, even for big firms, which often also demands payment (pre-registering, for instance) to participate in the beta-testing. Some give the betas out for free, some don't. This is fairly common practice

I love how tone of whole post changed into this bad damage control with avoiding main issue of actual costs of patreon supported games and methods used to milk as much as possible. I fucking wonder why?
Anyway, you are supporting a product, if it's going to be free, then technically it's a payment for a creator. If it's a product that's going to be sold, whole money should be used only for development. Fucking twats abuse this left and right and while using that money to pay for creator's living expenses is ok, main expected income should be from sales. End of fucking story. Stop abusing people's money, they work hard for it and so should you.

So... you're not a fan of crowd-founding? You would like for porn-games to charge a set amount for the finished product? Given that plenty of actual, big titles (or names) have gone the crowdfunding route, it sounds like a sort of silly argument. Most creators of the games on F95 do not make a lot of money. There are a few exceptions, of course, but most? Nope. For most, it's not even enough to cover basic costs of creating a game. Given the cost of GFX today, running a decent render-box costs a couple thousand bucks, at least. That's not even close to what people make.

And... "they work hard for it and so should you"? So... game-making isn't work? Seriously? That is one of the stupidest arguments I've ever heard. Game-making is probably one of the worst-paying jobs out there. Until you're lucky and make it "big" (none of the lewd-games have "made it big"). You can, if you're lucky, make a decent living out of it. But it takes a LOT of work to get there.

I can fucking tell. I wonder why? Oh, because if people complain then it's bad for getting more monetary support? Maybe there is a good damn reason. But no, everyone is a troll and just want to make some random dev's life miserable. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. People don't complain without reason. But something tells me you are fully aware of that and just afraid to accept that reality isn't how you hope it is.

Oh, people complain without reason all the time. They also complain just to make others feel miserable, or without any valid reason (although those who complain might feel that they have a valid reason, of course). That does not mean that all complaints are without reason. Of course not. It just means that people should try to keep it at least somewhat civil, and even try to maybe not let their feelings get the best of them. Feelings are crappy guides for coherent output.

 

[Yoshiiki]

First off, I never said anything about everybody leaving a negative comment being a troll. I would suggest reading-comprehension lessons. Second, I fail to see why being polite is seen as a weekness these days? It's not really helping civilised discourse.

Constructive critisism, however, can help - and if you cannot provide it, why not just shut up about it?

Those who don't give a fuck is sort of exactly what we're discussing. They're also known as trolls. Not giving a fuck is fine - but the point is, if you really don't give a fuck, you wouldn't bother commenting at all.

Of course not, if it's not constructive criticism, it's a troll. Same thing, you just don't want negative comments on your game.
Because not everyone is you and not everyone will act like you. For someone who talks about being polite I would start with trying to understand other people. But I guess they are just trolls, so let's ignore them, right?

It's completely fair to say that the dev is responsible for creating a game. However, creating games is a lot of work, and expecting to get it for free, without contributing, is pretty arrogant. Note that games that are in alpha/beta stages, and are posted here, is _FREE_. Maybe not the very last version, but usually the version before the current Patreon one (or, if one have several Patreon levels, at least the latest free version is just that - freely available. My point here is (as I've tried to convey before) is that people who get something for free, shouldn't feel they're entitled to anything but ... well, nothing. They've already gotten the game for free. If the game sucks... then just go on to the next one. Also, bug-testing is sort of a big field. There are plenty of things a small or one-man dev-team can't even begin to test for - for instance a lot of different PC-systems, which may or may not contribute to errors. Asking for bug-reports is a farily common thing, even for big firms, which often also demands payment (pre-registering, for instance) to participate in the beta-testing. Some give the betas out for free, some don't. This is fairly common practice

Stop with defending shit games. People look at whole page of negative comments and they know it's not worth checking because other did it for them or dev is a scam/lazy/whatever. You are trying so fucking hard doing this whole "just move on, don't leave bad comment or possible patrons may not pledge" it couldn't be more obvious if you screamed it.
If your game is shit and people are shitting on it, well, bad for you, seems like shekels won't flow.

So... you're not a fan of crowd-founding? You would like for porn-games to charge a set amount for the finished product? Given that plenty of actual, big titles (or names) have gone the crowdfunding route, it sounds like a sort of silly argument. Most creators of the games on F95 do not make a lot of money. There are a few exceptions, of course, but most? Nope. For most, it's not even enough to cover basic costs of creating a game. Given the cost of GFX today, running a decent render-box costs a couple thousand bucks, at least. That's not even close to what people make.

Yes, I am not a fan of crowd-founding. Irony is fucking strong in this one.
Well, maybe they don't make much because they suck at promotion, their game is shit or maybe people had enough of being fucked by milking devs. Oh no, so much money is needed - fuck off - people invest their own saving in projects and business, but it's so easy to talk about expenses when you expect money and no risk included.
But again, you are avoiding a fucking point. And I know why, let's see and I quote:
$1 pledge "You will get access to new releases 1 week before they become public (1 week after the other Patreon categories)"
That's from your own patreon. Do you know what it is? That's you saying: Hey, poorfag, you are worth less than other pledgers so you will wait or gib more shekels to play earlier. Fuck off with that, you are exactly what I am talking about. That's you being polite and treating people differently depending on their financial status, good fucking job, you can pat yourself on the back. If you want to run things like that, fine, but don't get shocked when someone calls you out on this. And let's not sugarcoat it, everyone knows moves like this are to get people that want to fap and can't wait. Dick move, that's what it is.

And... "they work hard for it and so should you"? So... game-making isn't work? Seriously? That is one of the stupidest arguments I've ever heard. Game-making is probably one of the worst-paying jobs out there. Until you're lucky and make it "big" (none of the lewd-games have "made it big"). You can, if you're lucky, make a decent living out of it. But it takes a LOT of work to get there.

Apparently, a lot of crowd-funded adult game making is just sitting on their asses and sucking on that patreon or other crowd-funding tit, rarely releasing anything and prolonging as long as possible. Sounds fucking hard.
Until you are lucky? You really think it's all luck? You don't know shit if you think that. And none made it big, I wonder why? There are more than few project that could easily make it big if they didn't do some shady shit behind as soon as 5 digit money started flowing. They are still projects that make a lot and I hope they won't turn into fucktards because of all that green coming in.

Oh, people complain without reason all the time. They also complain just to make others feel miserable, or without any valid reason (although those who complain might feel that they have a valid reason, of course). That does not mean that all complaints are without reason. Of course not. It just means that people should try to keep it at least somewhat civil, and even try to maybe not let their feelings get the best of them. Feelings are crappy guides for coherent output.

And what if they don't want to keep it civil? Is mr. I-judge-you-based-on-your-financial-status going to slap some sense into them? I don't think so. Your constant trying to tone down people complaining about bad games is laughable, because you don't understand you won't stop it. You talked something about snowflakes earlier, you know what's funny? Snowflakes don't fucking understand this term and use it unironically, try not fucking melting.

 

[MikeMasters]

HI everybody. I'd like to share my opinion here. I'll try to be as polite as possible, but at the same time I want to say how I see it.

First I want to say that being polite is virtue. If everyone would be polite we wouldn't have this discussion, would we? Being polite doesn't mean saying only nice things, it means saying things in a way that doesn't offend anyone.

Lately, it seems to me that the line between being polite and being rude is sometimes blurred. For some people saying something might be within the realm of politeness and for someone it might be offensive. For example saying to woman that she's beautiful might be compliment to her and to another woman it might be objectifying.

Only the speaker knows the real intent behind their words, but we always interpret them in multiple ways. We're sad so we see a comment as aggression towards us, we're happy and open minded and we see constructive criticism. Not to mention the emotions of the writter of the comment. They may be even in worse state of mind and they say or write something they wouldn't otherwise. Or they were happy and meant it as a innocent tease.

So what should we do about comments that make us sad or offended? Well, that depends on circumstances I guess. Most of the times we'll get verbally attacked by random people on the street or internet, pub, wherever. To this I say ignore it. That person doesn't matter to you, so don't give him the pleasure to be sad or offended because of them. IF you get sad or offended, that means you have low self-respect and you should work on that.

But there is other group of people who can say something bad to you. And that are people you know, family, friends or for example patrons. If they attack you for the first time, don't attack back right away, don't get sad or offended right away. Instead ask them why they say what they say. It might have been just a short frustration, anger, or something else entirely. They might apologize right away, or phrase their comment better, so you can understand where they're coming from and then you can respond properly. If you get upset by their initial comment, don't respond right away (if that's possible), because in the heat of the moment you might say something you might regret latter.

IF your friends or relatives etc. attack you periodically you have to stand up for yourself. First try to find, if there's a bit of truth in the message they're telling you over and over. For example if they're yelling at you "Your fat shit, your fat shit" and you actually weight a lot, maybe you should start seriously thinking about it and not get offended or get sad. Think about it and if you find out your happy as it is, then fight back, tell them that you're happy and you won't change. If they won't stop yelling at you, then you should sever the ties. Such a relationship doesn't lead nowhere, and even if you care about them, they don't care about you enough to let you make your own deccisions.

So what is the point of all this stuff? Be respectful, not just to others but to yourself as well. When somebody attacks you for no good reason, try to find out why if you care about that person, or ignore them if you don't. Respect yourself and know yourself enough and you will know that what ever some random person says isn't true.

These days so many people feel that they have the right to get offended. That freedom of speech is attacking their existence. NO, it doesn't. Their state of mind is attacking their existence. They doubt about themselves and they need justification for outside world to make themselves feel better, but they don't get any. All they really need is to believe in themselves a little bit more.