VN Ren'Py Beneath The Celestial Banner [Ch. 1] [CasiO2]

CasiO2

CasiO2

Formerly 'Casio1'
Aug 2, 2023
31
20
backroundsintro.png

Overview:
300 years ago, the Li dynasty collapsed. The territorial states began to rebel and demand autonomy, leading to civil wars breaking out everywhere. Until now, only seven states still exist and compete with each other. The four strongest states include Wu, Jin, Chu, and Li (central government states).
The remaining three states are Karma, Dorje, and Chen. Realizing that the Wu state was gradually becoming stronger and more aggressive, the tenth prince, Chen Yin, returned to his homeland after seeking knowledge in Karma. He aimed to assist King Chen in managing the state and making it capable of withstanding the growing pressure from Wu.​

Thread Updated: 2024-07-18
Release Date: 2024-07-17
Developer: CasiO2
Censored: No
Version: Chapter 1
OS: Windows, Linux, Android
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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Amedeux

Newbie
Apr 6, 2020
73
178
No, it doesn't look good! A 5 minutes of badly translated philosophical dialog followed by a bad sex scene with an ugly dick, another 2 minutes of poorly translated dialog and the chapter ends abruptly when a fight starts.
That's all.
I understand that many devs don't have the material resources to create something to the high visual standards that have already been set in AVNs, but after seeing so many failed attempts by others and if you still think you have a story worth telling, at least respect your work and narrate it in an interesting and engaging way.
And make sure it's understandable.

It's your first release, people don't know what you can and what to expect from you and whether you can deliver something of quality, and a start like this won't make them come back for the next updates.
 
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CasiO2

CasiO2

Formerly 'Casio1'
Aug 2, 2023
31
20
Amedeux said:
No, it doesn't look good! A 5 minutes of badly translated philosophical dialog followed by a bad sex scene with an ugly dick, another 2 minutes of poorly translated dialog and the chapter ends abruptly when a fight starts.
That's all.
I understand that many devs don't have the material resources to create something to the high visual standards that have already been set in AVNs, but after seeing so many failed attempts by others and if you still think you have a story worth telling, at least respect your work and narrate it in an interesting and engaging way.
And make sure it's understandable.

It's your first release, people don't know what you can and what to expect from you and whether you can deliver something of quality, and a start like this won't make them come back for the next updates.
Click to expand...
Thank you for review, I will take note and improve in the next updates
 
Wicks99

Wicks99

Newbie
Apr 21, 2024
71
82
CasiO2 said:
Thanks you!
Click to expand...
A bit of hard truth here, not trying to be mean so if there's anything that sounds offensive I apologize in advance.

From your replies here it is obvious you are not a native English speaker. Just 5 minutes into the game and it's patently clear that you are using machine translation from Chinese to English. Though there are cases of developers doing that with some order of success, your story and material is ill-suited for that.

This sort of ancient historical story involves a lot of cultural nuances which most of your international audience will not be able to understand unless you yourself are very proficient in writing the dialogue and narrative first hand in English. I honestly couldn't make head or tail what the heck was going on and gave up after 5 minutes.

It's like I am reading English and yet have no idea what the sentences mean. The dialogue translation is also downright weird... it's so cringey like two non-English speakers being forced by their tutor to practice greetings in front of the class.

You will also need to invest significant time to customize costumes for you characters as I don't think there are many available HS assets now that can fit into your story world. The current character renders are downright strange... like some sort of bad Chinese traditional cosplay done with basement bargains purchased from Shein or Temu.

I would humbly suggest you either get a strong English speaker as your writer or change the story into something modern and relatable where machine translation is still possible.

Just my 2 cents.
 
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CasiO2

CasiO2

Formerly 'Casio1'
Aug 2, 2023
31
20
Wicks99 said:
A bit of hard truth here, not trying to be mean so if there's anything that sounds offensive I apologize in advance.

From your replies here it is obvious you are not a native English speaker. Just 5 minutes into the game and it's patently clear that you are using machine translation from Chinese to English. Though there are cases of developers doing that with some order of success, you story and material is ill-suited for that.

This sort of ancient historical story involves a lot of cultural nuances which most of your international audience will not be able to understand unless you yourself are very proficient in writing the dialogue and narrative first hand in English. I honestly couldn't make head or tail what the heck was going on and gave up after 5 minutes.

It's like I am reading English and yet have no idea what the sentences mean. The dialogue translation is also downright weird... it's so cringey like two non-English speakers being forced by their tutor to practice greetings in front of the class.

I would humbly suggest you either get a strong English speaker as your writer or change the story into something modern and generic where machine translation is still possible.

Just my 2 cents.
Click to expand...
No its fine, thank you for the review, I will try to improve in the next update
 
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