VN - Ren'Py - Beneath the Surface [v0.1] [Ava Interactive]

Show, don't tell! Come on, that's the basics.

Seeing narration in every line of dialogue, and often even longer than the dialogue itself, made it impossible to immerse myself in the way I enjoy when I read a good story.

The scene where Maya and the protagonist's little daughter are REPEATEDLY attacked in public and in front of the protagonist, and he does absolutely nothing about it was absurd and unrealistic, anyone in that situation would react to protect those important to him, even if on impulse.

And right after that, the protagonist watches Maya being dragged against her will while she screams for help, and he stands there and lets it happen, and no one showed him any document indicating their rights to do what they did.

I can't, there are so many things wrong with this story, and it's caused by bad writing.

Good renders and....... That's it.

There's barely anything there at the moment and the little that is there is just not good and mostly boring, forgettable characters, mediocre dialogs, etc.

Seeing the plans for the game it seems like it's going to be a mess as well, one of those trying to mix ntr + cuck content like "sharing", perhaps that's why the characters are so bad, because they don't really have real personalities, they would just mold into whatever kink the dev wants to add later on.

So the women can be loyal women that only fuck the MC or they can be sluts collecting STDs by sleeping with random men, same for the MC he is either a chad with a harem or a super cuck that likes other dudes fucking his girls.

Impossible to take seriously so probably a game to just skip all text and jack off if the sex scenes are good and right now there's zero of those, so another negative

I'll be nice and give it a 2 * for the good renders

Great scripts makes you feel every joy and heartbreak as if they were your own. And this certainly does that for me. Maya has captured my heart. I wouldn't be surprised if this was made into a short film or something. The narration is that good. And the twist, well I certainly didn't see that coming.

At the moment of my review (v0.1), this game don't have ANY sex content, and the story isn't captivating, and that's bad because the first impression is important. The renders are nice. This game looks like one of those Super Ultra Mega Slow Burn Games that don't even explore a good variety of kinks and you can play with both hands in front of your parents.

Personally, I think this may be the best written adult VN I have come across. It does give a AI ish feel, because it is that well of a script. Whatever it is, it works for me, but I'm just a old stoner playing the above-mentioned games. Got my support on P.

This is really good. At first i thought the text was too much like AI generated text, but by the time I figured out the twist, it makes perfect sense. Outstanding beginning! I'm looking forward to the next chapter.