The renders are really good, but I honestly find the story kind of boring.
There's an attempt at intrigue, but it just doesn't hit for me. I can't explain why, I just don't care about Lilith or the mystery stuff pumped into the MC because, as of yet, it has only resulted in blackouts - nothing really meaty.
A clearer weakness is the girls. They look lovely, but none of them seem to be anything other than a collection of personality traits. Their wants are nebulous, and they have nothing they are pursuing that the MC might later come to help them with (except Lucy who seems to desire... The MC. Which is kind of an easy solve).
So my feedback to improve the game would be:
1: Absolutely start building out subplots for the girls. That's how you make people love them - right now, they are boring. They need to have goals of their own within the story.
2: Get to the "hook" point of the story asap. At the moment we just don't have enough to get invested - there have been no real consequences to fear or anticipate, and without this, you kinda think "whatever" when you ask yourself if you want to click to the next image and text.
Fixing these things could give another heavyweight AVN, IMO, but it's not there yet when it comes to the writing. The HS2 artwork is perfect though.
There's an attempt at intrigue, but it just doesn't hit for me. I can't explain why, I just don't care about Lilith or the mystery stuff pumped into the MC because, as of yet, it has only resulted in blackouts - nothing really meaty.
A clearer weakness is the girls. They look lovely, but none of them seem to be anything other than a collection of personality traits. Their wants are nebulous, and they have nothing they are pursuing that the MC might later come to help them with (except Lucy who seems to desire... The MC. Which is kind of an easy solve).
So my feedback to improve the game would be:
1: Absolutely start building out subplots for the girls. That's how you make people love them - right now, they are boring. They need to have goals of their own within the story.
2: Get to the "hook" point of the story asap. At the moment we just don't have enough to get invested - there have been no real consequences to fear or anticipate, and without this, you kinda think "whatever" when you ask yourself if you want to click to the next image and text.
Fixing these things could give another heavyweight AVN, IMO, but it's not there yet when it comes to the writing. The HS2 artwork is perfect though.