VN - Ren'Py - Big Brother Erotic Novel [Pilot - Part 1] [Krugger]

Take a successful premise, remove the main thing that made it successful. Replace the lack of choice with worse writing than the source material... profit?

You can skip this one. This attempt to cash in offers nothing better than the original. So so renders and plenty of mistakes made

So, I watched Part 1. So far so good, the story starts differently and that's a good thing. Lisa now really looks like a younger sister with her braces. Bravo.
(The haircut is still horrible though!)
However, this landlord and roommate stuff really doesn't make sense with a title like "BIG BROTHER"! (Yes, I know the Patreon rules)
And Max and Lisa really do behave like 8-year-olds in the car.
I wish "Krugger" every success in his endeavors and wish us all a great continuation of the story and perseverance to the end.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

If you were working on ur game quietly maybe u wouldn't be going through this. many don't know the work u were developing and unfortunately you exposed many of your ideas and that's why perhaps he felt safe when those others were copying you. many don't actually know that it was you who was there putting ur ideas and that other devs was copying you, many don't know that you were the real one and that those others were usurping ur work. its notable to see that many think that bb but they were actually just using your ideas. people think the ideas are theirs, but i warned you to stop exposing ur work since they had been copying darksilver for years. now get ready that you will suffer a huge amount of hate (as you are already suffering).

You need to improve the game a lot, you need to improve these texts, i followed you for a certain period and i didn't really believe that you would move on but the game is still not solid. as for the renders, i know you had your problems but i believe you can later replace them with better ones and don't care too much about what others say. ican't give you a rating above three stars, but it would also be unfair to give less than two. but i'm happy that little by little people will discover the truth and not lose their calm or despair. there were few people who saw his work in glamour fan art.
my tip is to try to improve your texts better its not so bad but just do a review and take some time to improvise better in renpy, i know you published this game a long time ago and decided to post it here but try to give the interface a better look. its not bad just adjust it.
good luck

With every iteration of the Big Brother remake/remaster/reimagining I sort of hope the dev takes it upon themself to augment the story, improve it or really make it better in any capacity.

Unfortunately like the other tries this remains more of the same sans the original inspiration; this exists for the sake of existing rather than anything else.

No story
Poor grammar
No H content
Boring

This has potential.

The original BB wasn't a story. It was a grindy progression hunter with a creepy protagonist, a temporary predatory step dad figure, a MILFified "land lady", a pseudo playful older "roommate", a younger "doll" roommate. Overall, there might have been good renders and dialogue but this doesn't constitute a story. There were no character motivations, no subtext, and no plot to be told. It was just a progression system for more skin in scenes - good scenes to be fair. But the progression itself was random.

Characters: This author clearly changed the original characters. It feels more like a family now, not like an academy for troubled children.

Dialogues: Some dialogue sections clearly show that the author isn't fluent in English: "Look her, look her". At her? Even then, the dialogue doesn't make sense. I think it's a translation issue from an otherwise acceptably written dialogue. Learn how to use GPT for proof reading and adjusting style of language to character. And learn (or improve) how to write dialogues. Every line has to serve a purpose. Enter the dialogue with motivations, ensure that these motivations shine through as subtext to a certain extent. I can't quite judge the performance of this because it's too early to have a deeper understanding of the characters. Overall, the (internal) dialogues feel authentic. They don't focus on the MC only.

Story and character arcs: This is too early to tell, but let's just say that half of this pilot deals with clothes. Maybe that's compelling for a female audience, but I doubt that this is the targeted readership. A lot of even the better VN creators in this genre don't understand that readers need to care about the characters, and this doesn't work with ten at the same time. They create these harem-style of games where relationships are a function, not the interplay of authentic characters. Because their characters are superficial soulless casts of common stereotypes. This game introduces and interlinks multiple subplots, the issue is just that it lost me with the LOTR theme and these "precious" faux leather shoes about which I couldn't care less. New female characters are introduced, probably meant to become MC's dates. No choices, not even illusionary ones.

Renders: Average render quality, but the author tried to invest into facial expressions, which gives it less of a doll vibe than the original BB.

I've played this pilot issue so you don't have to.

Redners are average, and to me they look worse than those in the original BB sandbox game (which is already saying something, since that game was made so many years ago).

Writing is... appalling. And by far the weakest point in this game imho. Hysteroid kids, weird "landlady", poor grammar, LOTS OF CAPS LOCK.