VN Ren'Py College Stories: My Girlfriend Is Too Naive!!! [v0.21] [LeetW]

[shotzpro]

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I totally get your point of view, but if you can see my, it could honestly be the difference between having 100 patrons and hitting 5,000. You don't even have to cut anything, just save that part for much later down the line. Since you're still at the early stages, it's the perfect time to set things up right. Later, making big changes would be almost impossible, and if you decide to remake things halfway through, you'd risk losing a lot of followers. People might even think you're just milking the project.


Your game has incredible potential it reminds me a lot of My New Girlfriend, Moonripe Lake, and Blurring the Walls. You just need to restructure the intro a bit and leave the rest as it is. If you give more focus to NTS (since it's trending right now) and save the NTR stuff for later, it would flow so much better. Also, the MC’s friend could be way more than just 'the guy who steals the girlfriend', there's a ton of potential to build something deeper there. There's a real lack of NTS stories with a solid school life vibe, and you have the perfect shot to fill that space

 

[shotzpro]

I hope that from the reviews and the feedback on the first few pages, you can see that what's really killing the interest and making people quit before getting to the good parts is the AI video scene. Hold that back and save it for the end of the game. Start with a strong school-themed intro, introduce the characters properly, and you’ll see that your game will naturally grow a lot in view

 

[N3termia]

add NTR then we can talk

 

[Ser Lordypants]

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Those scenes aren't bad, they just throw off the pacing. You went from 10 to 0. They never really fit the title either. More "my girlfriend is an instant whore" than "my girlfriend is too naive."

You sort of fixed it with the ai thing. But real scenes are always better than fake videos or dream sequences. Not going that far of course. Not yet anyway. But a few people seeing her skirt ride up in class? That would've been a simple enough intro.

On another note, this was a 2 month wait for like 8 ai generated images. Rough. Is that the speed we should expect going forward?

 

[NuShadow]

I don't have a problem with the CG, but man the dialogues and plot, it looks like it was written by a 14yo virgin. There is no corruption, from naive to slut in 60 seconds. Maybe if she already had developed a taste for cock from her boyfriend and he couldn't keep up or couldn't satisfy her then that would make more sense .. after forcing to waste the players time with random text and shit if he chooses to not believe this is really a college (guess if plot holes you can always add filler ) . Hope you get better at writing man and clean up those tags cause there's no build up for the corrupting tag to make sense.

 

[Pr0GamerJohnny]

eh I enjoyed it overall, and I generally dont like anime style stuff. I thought the pacing was fine, the fake video plot twist was nice.