You are not alone. I ended up dropping some otherwise pretty great NTS games because the excessive, repeated reassurances started to grate on my nerves. It just felt a tad patronizing. Like, if I were in the husband's shoes, I'd certainly like some reassurance that my wife isn't abandoning me, but I'd get pissed off after a while if she thought I needed her to do it constantly. I mean, just how fragile do you think I am, wife? That said, I can't put the blame on the developers on that matter; the threshold of how much reassurance is enough, too much or too little vary wildly between people, and even between different points of a person's life (I know at least one ex of mine who needed constant reassurance back when she was coping with severe social anxiety, but would get annoyed pretty rapidly if she got the same now.), so I don't think there's really a right answer to how much they should include. They'd alienate one group or another no matter what they did.
And the lack of female agency is something I agree with you on as well. It's hard to enjoy a female lead who acts entirely like a vessel for her partner's will. Even if the entire point of the story was her becoming a sex slave for her partner, the tension between her needs/wants and her submission to her partner would have been half the fun; and in stories where this is not the case, it makes for an even worse end result where my preferences are concerned.
How far has Moonripple Lake gotten by the way? I've been meaning to try it, but I've been putting it off until it has a decent bit of content.
To me it strikes a nice balance between the loving yet wild girlfriend. Vi in MNGF is like Suzie with the vulgarity dial turned up, but she also feels 'safer'.
