- Thread starter Bird492
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DressedToThrill
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- Jun 30, 2024
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Bird492
I just want to draw attention to some honest writing mistakes you've made. It happens towards the end of the previous update, and slightly into this latest one. During the sex scene with Ben, and while MC is walking down the alley, and the wife is asking him to come home.
As far as I can tell, the narrator refers to the player and MC as 'you', and writes in the past tense as most good story telling and narration does. But sometimes the narrator switches between referring to MC as 'you' and 'him'/MC's name.
Also, in the first image in the latest update, when the MC is sitting down on the pavement, we're back to the narrator properly referring to 'you' again, but it's suddenly in present tense. The proper past tense is back after a few clicks.
Take care to unify your style. This is important for the reader's immersion. I got taken out of it, but luckily I hadn't unzipped yet, so I'm glad to take the time to write this.
Either always refer to MC as 'you', or refer to him as 'he' and his name, not both. I recommend always using past tense. Present tense is more difficult to write well, and switching between them demands even more finesse. Not saying it can't be done, but we're making fun smut here, not the next James Joyce-novel.
Oh, and I wanted to add that I've enjoyed your game previously, both the merely ok first release, and the really great previous release, so I'm really looking forward to playing what's new now. I just got distracted, haha! Thank you!
I just want to draw attention to some honest writing mistakes you've made. It happens towards the end of the previous update, and slightly into this latest one. During the sex scene with Ben, and while MC is walking down the alley, and the wife is asking him to come home.
As far as I can tell, the narrator refers to the player and MC as 'you', and writes in the past tense as most good story telling and narration does. But sometimes the narrator switches between referring to MC as 'you' and 'him'/MC's name.
Also, in the first image in the latest update, when the MC is sitting down on the pavement, we're back to the narrator properly referring to 'you' again, but it's suddenly in present tense. The proper past tense is back after a few clicks.
Take care to unify your style. This is important for the reader's immersion. I got taken out of it, but luckily I hadn't unzipped yet, so I'm glad to take the time to write this.
Either always refer to MC as 'you', or refer to him as 'he' and his name, not both. I recommend always using past tense. Present tense is more difficult to write well, and switching between them demands even more finesse. Not saying it can't be done, but we're making fun smut here, not the next James Joyce-novel.Oh, and I wanted to add that I've enjoyed your game previously, both the merely ok first release, and the really great previous release, so I'm really looking forward to playing what's new now. I just got distracted, haha! Thank you!
This update is truly great, the narrative and dialogue are fantastic.
The only downside is the frequent mismatch between the narrative and the visuals. This spoiled the overall experience.
I'll express my opinion as a big fan of this VN.
NTS is good, but if it develops into NTR, it will be even better.
I'm also all for potential drama and relationship breakdown in at least one of the paths.
The only downside is the frequent mismatch between the narrative and the visuals. This spoiled the overall experience.
I'll express my opinion as a big fan of this VN.
NTS is good, but if it develops into NTR, it will be even better.
I'm also all for potential drama and relationship breakdown in at least one of the paths.
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Thanks for the feedback. Its definitely a challenge trying to get the right art for each scene that im trying to build. I struggle with it to find a balance between a good amount of art for the viewer to enjoy, and the amount of time I have to work on this. Honestly, it's ultimately a passion project for me as Im not a big creator that can sustain myself right now.
I humbly thank everyone for their support, and for hanging in there while I figure out how to make the best game that I can. Constantly torn between wanting to fix the game and wanting to add more content... Maybe it's time I work on making the game better.
Honestly you are doing great not stalling the player to milk as much money as you can unlike a lot of other devs is the best thing you do and i love your game it gets better and better with each update and you are also not afraid to take risks something that feels like a breath of fresh air compared to a lot of other newer games that go with nts phone formula make the game light vanilla next to no nts mixing the friends in it to shift the focus to them and make it open relationship simulator fuck everything you love buffe and stalls the player for milking money a simple creampie happening after 20 plus updates!!!!!! It lost its hotness and value and now its a big mess that is there just for the supporters but devs like you and a few others are trying to make a wonderful game that doesn't copy any of them not that cursed phone style that got viral or we all are friends here let us hold hands and every patch reassure the player life is all colors and rainbow you show the darkside of desires as well and the consequences of giving in to them and i can't wait to see what happens next wish you the best of luck
reidanota
Well-Known Member
- Nov 1, 2021
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I'll be waiting a bit longer for the more sutble aspects! Like to experience stories with balanced couple dynamics, no dominance of either the FMC or the MC over the other, MC NOT a cuck watching from the sidelines, not a drop of beta blood in him and the FMC should be doing the seduction of other guys, not being seduced, her goal mainly in teasing and arousing the MC, who satisfies her fully. Hope this isn't too far from your original setup, I know the MC has confessed his fantasy/fetish, but maybe you'll find a different alternative setup for those subtle variations on the NTS genre. Not trying to side-track your main story that seems to be more in line with what those that like cuckold gameplay enjoy. When options come, maybe there'll be something for all tastes? Good luck on your game.
Joshy92
Message Maven
- Mar 25, 2021
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Great update and as long as the NTS doesn't get mixed with NTR I'll be happy. I don't care if NTR is there, it's just I have no desire to see it bleed into the NTS path.
Anyway, good luck dev It's a pretty good game so far.
Anyway, good luck dev It's a pretty good game so far.
- Mar 2, 2019
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Confessions in the Dark [v0.11] [Maple Bird] - Compressed
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I hope you get what you want and the good news is there are some choices i believe i will head for the riskier ntr Cuckolding route if it gets available boring vanilla stuff like vulgar Reverie never was for me Cuckolding is and it should hit hard
Zobra
Member
- Dec 31, 2019
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The writing is really good 5/5 !!
tho , ngl .. i have a mixed feelings about this game ... it looks like NTS (both on the same boat) but at same time MC gives me the vibe that he can be easily get cucked and cheat on (He doesn't mind if she get fucked but at same time afraid to lose her , she can use that against him which can lead to NTR).
also i got bored with only 2 characters , what is the purpose of the Girlfriend anyway ? she supposed to push them not get shy
Just Unpopular Opinion : Let MC have a bigger Penis and strong mentality on NTS path by controlling the situation (Male-dom | Swinging | loyalty | FFM with Sally or others) , Ruin his life on NTR path (cheating | Femdom | sph).
You can't satisfy everyone , but this 2 Paths it very important to separate them , and stay true to their meaning.
tho , ngl .. i have a mixed feelings about this game ... it looks like NTS (both on the same boat) but at same time MC gives me the vibe that he can be easily get cucked and cheat on (He doesn't mind if she get fucked but at same time afraid to lose her , she can use that against him which can lead to NTR).
also i got bored with only 2 characters , what is the purpose of the Girlfriend anyway ? she supposed to push them not get shy
Just Unpopular Opinion : Let MC have a bigger Penis and strong mentality on NTS path by controlling the situation (Male-dom | Swinging | loyalty | FFM with Sally or others) , Ruin his life on NTR path (cheating | Femdom | sph).
You can't satisfy everyone , but this 2 Paths it very important to separate them , and stay true to their meaning.
Good move , nothing wrong with a small delay between the Patreon and Public release , but pay to see this content is f*cking annoying
reidanota
Well-Known Member
- Nov 1, 2021
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I'd risk that a majority of those who would want to follow an NTS path and not an NTR path, would also agree. While not advocating for checklists on either path, I'd argue that it's important to establish, on the NTS path, if the MC is a wimp who's going to be cucked borderline against his will (because of fear of losing his LI) or very naive and manipulated by the more savvy LI or others; or if he's going to be a stalwart stag who can appreciate his LI having other guys wrapped around her little finger, doing what she wants with them, not the other way around.
The "classic" hentai cuckold NTS is simply a variant of NTR, where the same emotions of angst, helplessness, humiliation and injustice are sought, without the ultimate loss of the LI. Personally I find it moot to have two paths if NTS will be framed along these lines; my own "unpopular" opinion is that it's more effective (will reach more players who don't enjoy NTR) to have the NTS path play out with a dominant/confident MC, but that's also my preference and stated bias, ultimately the better story will be the one that the author wants to tell.
packard1928
Forum Fanatic
- Nov 16, 2018
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I really liked it. Love the NTS path. Can't wait to see how it progresses. I hope they get into some group sessions... maybe some anal in the future ? I just don't want to see them slip into a state where they grow apart as a couple. I love to see games where they can experience adventure but not grow apart.
turbokinetics
Member
- Apr 30, 2025
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really hope the dev doesn't slip it down the full ntr path. market needs more fully focused NTS games. too many either go full tilt cause of patreon and thats sad. patreon polls are why not enough of these style games end up like carbon copies or just lose the originality. hope sally enters the fray soon, fan of everyone getting a piece of the pie. my own two cents is if they do a full ntr path its very obvious how to avoid it and that its maybe done at a later time after a lot more content is out. unless he starts acting like a dick to her i dont even see a route that would cause her to wanna do revenge, not one that makes sense after her 2nd ben scene. way too out of character after all she's already done and would lead to sloppy writing to make it happen. but who knows
And i for once hope it doesn't end up like netorase phone oh we all are friends hahaha lets fuck and have fun that is some high quality bullshit
Zobra
Member
- Dec 31, 2019
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Wonder why almost every vote From patreon (Different Devs) NTR wins for more Updates
Others can call it insecure & shit , Tho MC is 100% okay with sharing her (Means cheating=ntr is not needed Unless FMC decided to go wild on her own which leads to NTR) i personally hate when MC is small on NTS , that what confused me little (Exception if everyone else look same or just slightly bigger , not the horse interracial which is better for NTR).
I know the Unpopular is the most debatable topic , but i didn't want to force my opinion on Dev if you know what i mean
turbokinetics
Member
- Apr 30, 2025
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nothing you said was wrong. unfortunately ntr consumers swarm all these patreons with votes. and there are some top tier nts ai art games that equip the mc properly sized even if some of the others are bigger or smaller. personally cant the humiliation aspect of that (might as well just go full tilt cuck game) and i dont mean slight playful teasing to get a rise out of the mc during reclaim scenes. just never makes enough sense for consensual sharing given the mutual trust and love thats supposed to be there.Wonder why almost every vote From patreon (Different Devs) NTR wins for more Updates
Others can call it insecure & shit , Tho MC is 100% okay with sharing her (Means cheating=ntr is not needed Unless FMC decided to go wild on her own which leads to NTR) i personally hate when MC is small on NTS , that what confused me little (Exception if everyone else look same or just slightly bigger , not the horse interracial which is better for NTR).
I know the Unpopular is the most debatable topic , but i didn't want to force my opinion on Dev if you know what i mean
JoeHiggins1949
Well-Known Member
- Dec 14, 2017
- 1,053
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In the first conversation between Ashley and Sally you keep switching which end of the sofa Sally is sitting on. Either that or some of the images are reversed. You do it with Ashley too.
I believe it's an older version of "JANKU v5 Trained + NoobAI + RouWei Illustrious XL". Data for images of this game come up as v4, but the newest model is already on v5.
What IA can I use to create images like the one from this game? I see similar art o a lot of games