VN - Ren'Py - Abandoned - Connected [v0.2.5] [ChainZero]

I admire the Dev's creativity and ambition, and the first-class quality of some renders. The ladies are lovely.

The dialogue, characterization and writing are problematic.

The dialogue is almost too realistic, in the sense that it often involves the sort of dull, stilted, self-conscious prattle that actually goes on between people in the real world. This is true to life, but not _interesting_ in a work of fiction.

The characters are unsympathetic to the point where I'm in danger of actively disliking them. Most of them are shallow, self-absorbed, and immature in a way that, again, rings true... but doesn't make them appealing. The protagonist has a nice dog and treats her well, but does not have any other appealing qualities. His relationship with Ayana is emotionally immature to the point where it inspires more active dislike.

As others have said, the writing is filled with excess verbiage that adds nothing to the experience.

Perhaps the situations that the Dev is setting up will pay off in a way that creates erotic tension. But given my dislike for the introverted, apathetic MC, I'm not sure that I'll be able to stick around that long.

As some other reviewers have said, I _want_ to like this game... and I do appreciate the Dev's efforts to be different. But... it is not a good game.

I'm trying. I really am.
On paper, this is exactly what I want.
A slow-burn, well thought out, character driven story that seems like the focus will be on romance.

Execution?
I like the renders.
The writing is.... way too much. I know how verbose I can be, so I use that as a yard stick.... and I'd honestly like more and deeper writing in many games, so when I saw people bring it up, I figured that it actually wouldn't be a problem for me...
But I find myself just clicking through scenes because there is so much text (much of it isn't needed, or is formatted weirdly), that I'm just ready for that scene to be done, and to either have a choice to make or something more interesting to do.

I think a big part of my problem with the writing is, if I wrote a story, I imagine it would be just as obnoxiously verbose, and focus too much on the minor details, as well. So while playing this, I'm just seeing a shitload of thge things that frustrate me about my own creative efforts.

There are a few other aspects of the story and characters that don't jive well with me, but that's personal taste issues, not quality issues, so I won't fault the game for that.

Look, 2 stars is harsh, and even feels uncalled for, considering what is planned and the obvious thought put into it, but the writing desperately needs to be reigned in, made more concise, and be copy edited (don't use "&" in the middle of character dialog. If you're going to be so verbose, type the two extra characters it takes to write "and").

Some editing, to make sure everything needed to be communicated still is, but extraneous fat has been cut... some copy editing for polish, and maybe some choices that feel more consequential and not just leading to some slightly varied dialog before rejoining the intended script, would help a lot too, so we feel more like it's a story we're part of, and not just a ride-along.

I look forward to having a reason to edit this up to 4 or 5 stars, in the future.

Despite my recent complaint, this thing is straight up a AAA game.

Spoilerfree

Models:

Superb, not overused, bit uberhuman let's do it with umlaut. Übermensch.
Craftsmanship at it's finest.

Locations are already well known, seen in 500 other games.

Story:

Alrighty... There is a actual story in here. Starts a bit weird and ends weird as well but believable, kinda. No fuckfest or orgies right now and it's absolutely ok.

Gameplay:

Currently it if "just" a VN. At specific points, or point right now, you can trigger different scenes. No sandbox, no earn money, no grind inside the salt mine. Simple and effective.

Localization:

Proper english with minor typos. Writing style isn't boring and it's fun to read.

It would be a shame if this game gets dropped at any stage.
And some wording change would be appreciated.

Keep up the good work.

I like the care for details in the character build-up. Renders are excellent, the dialogues well written. It's a bit slow paced, but who cares if the story's right. My only fear is that there's just too many lovable characters and no real challenges ahead, but prove me wrong!

This is a great game all around. Renders are beautiful, good story and pacing. The animations are one of the best out there. There's nothing more to say, I'll let my rating speak for itself. Just give this game a try and you'll love it.

Phew, rating this game isn't easy. Like the average score suggests, this game has a lot going for it. Beautiful renders, believable characters, attractive girls and a likeable main character.
However, the game has one huge flaw. While the quality of the writing is definitely above average (natural, believable), the quantity is not. The game is full of useless drivel that adds nothing to the story other than dragging it out. The dev uses three sentences when he could be using just one. Another reviewer already mentioned this, but I'll repeat it because it would help the game immensely: "Show, don't tell".
So while there is much to be said for the game, playing it actually has been exhausting for me. Not because I didn't care about the characters or didn't want to know how the story continued but because of the sheer amount of unnecessary text.

Simply one of the best on this site. You can feel the effort of the developer in every word and render.

every character and scene is thought-out and fits sensible in the story progression. I tend to glance through most dialogues in games, this one had me thinking about every sentence.

Somehow for me this one checks all the boxes. Characters, graphics and story are just really well made. Only remark is, the version number indicates pretty well the amount of context. With that in mind, i would definitely try this one.

Renders are great, writing is better than most of the others in the genre. Use of the N word is used a few times on the basis oh both protagonists being colored. I don't have a problem with it personally but others might not have the same views and may be uncomfortable with it.

Overall pretty good game.

Been following both the game and the dev for a while,
The game is amazing with good renders and animations, very cute girls, something i love about this game is having short-haired cute girls ... something not many devs use.
The writing is good and very good paced.
As for the dev i usually don't post about it in reviews but this dev is worth mentioning because is very clear and honest about the work he do and have a professional sense and ethic , for me that is something i value highly and i think is worth mentioning in the review since a lot of devs nowadays abandon games half-arse or rush them to make another just to do the same again, If you are sick of that you can finally support someone worth of that trust.
100% Recommended.

I'm gonna keep it short and sweet I love this game and to top it off the dog just made my heart melt mind that this is not one of those game where people can just quick jerk it's a story driven which are rare to come by and very good job to the Dev making this beautiful piece of art.

Connected started off as a very good VN and the latest update [0.2.5] is even better... its is a much more intimate and story-focussed VN than most out there, and so far it does it so well.

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT CONNECTED... [everything?]
Graphically excellent.
Really liked the more grown-up story approach... refreshing change, and the dialogue is very good. Emotion is really well developped and it has a huge potential by playing on the strengths, flaws and conflicts of the characters.
Characters are all credible and interesting. Ayana is beautiful, but then so is Charlotte [and Michelle and Nicky...]. BUT Ayana is beautiful!

I see Connected as being all about relationships and character development, and the evolution of the MC and Ayana. This VN is all about that bond, the emotional confusion between two wonderful but also flawed "protagonists"... their choices, the players choices, could potentially lead to true love, regrets and heartache. Cannot praise this VN enough.

EDIT v2.5

The story and art in this game are made by a prodigy. The believable plot we have been fed this far is something that could happen in real life, and not the usual MC return to his family cliche.
but let's talk about the best part of this gem: Ayana, this is the defining element that sets the game for GOTY...
honestly every moment spent without her would feel a waste if the story and the remainng characters weren't extraordinary

Great game and a great intro. Played v0.2. The story is deep which is a god send in these types of games. I play these games just as much for the story as the other things. I like well built characters with personality and interact with each other. I think there was like one sex scene in the version I played and it felt so natural to the story and felt like the right quantity for the story at that point.

Story is so vital for me to even enjoy those types of adult scenes because otherwise they just feel hollow or just there for the sake of it. Some games rely on them because they are devoid of soul and personality. The music timing great and renders felt in place to the story that was being woven.

Is there some minor things I did not like, sure. But they were minor and I will never crucify a game for tiny things I disagree on. This game is something to enjoy from when I played. Give yourself time to read and enjoy the story at a reasonable pace. Enjoy. Also if you disagree after you play. Perfectly fine, everyone has different views and this is just my opinion.

As this is an unfinished game, if it gets updates and I play on, I will of course update my review.

I don't usually rate games, but I think this one deserves it, at this point (v0.2) there are not many scenes, but I can see the potential and I hope to see more of this game in the future. Pretty characters, interesting story, nothing "exaggerated". Cheers.

Good Points
+We have pretty good and calm story. I played most of game with smile on my face. Espacily hospital scene made my day. I realy like story so far. Good job man <3
+ MC is cool guy and have his own dog! That's good and makes more sense for you put yourself in his place in game.
+ Interior and exterior renders looks good.
+ Girls looks attractive enough. And their bodies looks hot aswell.
+ Game have good sense of humor espacily Ayana X MC relationship is amazing

Bad Points
- At this rate we dont have enough content for story nor lewd scenes.
- Little bit quality improve for renders and animations could be amazing. Sex scenes needs a lot of work.
- Its abandoned and didn't get update since 1.5 year... Cool...

For The End
That was realy amazing game. Story was warming my hearth and I was loving everyting about this game except lewd scenes. Lewd scenes was needed improve but i was still enjoying... Well now its abandoned... Cool i gues... My rate was 4 star but with being abandoned and with bad points im gonna lover my star rate to 3 star, still i do believe this game have potencial to became 4-5 star game if DEV give change to this game again... Who knows...

Excellent story so far. A bit slow in some areas, but overall its really well done. The ladies in this are beautiful. I'm looking forward to seeing how this one turns out in the future. Keep up the good work

Very special, just amazing ! give a try even if its not your style of game ! the story, characters, Visual are next level (imho) if this completes and continues same quality ... it will be a Masterpiece of course this genre !

Wow.... As of v0.2 I am madly inlove with this game. Decent amount of play for it only being on v0.2. Take the time to try this out. The models are beautiful. Lol hell even the MC Male is a cute dude xD and i think they are well written. The animations seem to be Top notch too. So do yourself a favor and play this. I am already looking for more. Amazing job ChainZero. Keep up the amazing work.

Story 5/5
Models 5/5
Animations 5/5

The best thing about this game are the renders. However, what this game suffers from immensely is that the author doesn't follow one of the most important rules about writing: "Show, don't tell." There's a lot of meaningless text of the MC just describing and thinking about other people. For instance, he goes into a text-laden monologue about the type of person Ayano is... But then through Ayano's actions, I feel like she's not even close to the way the MC describes her.

I also wonder if the author even knows what it's like to be adopted or has known people who are adopted. For a story that's trying to to be serious, the whole adoption plot lacks one important aspect: why did the birth Mom leave them up for adoption? I've known an adopted person and one of their struggles is "why? why did my birth parents not want me?" In this scenario, the birth mom had all the time in the world to contact her children and yet she only does it when she's on her death bed. Sounds pretty selfish to me; so much so that you'd think it'd be courteous of her to actually explain why she put her kids up for adoption to begin with. However, none of this is explained and all you get is meaningless text that has almost nothing to do with anything.

All in all, there's a lot of fluff going on here and seeing this visual novel makes me realize the need for why editing jobs even exist. Editors are the type of people that remove much a the meaningless text. There's a lot of rambling in this game and lots of things that get repeated in different words. it was a slog to get through.

Well, I tried this game because of the looking of the character. They seem different than what we usually see. I mean the face are really great. It's not "too much".

I played the 0.1 & 0.2, there's not a lot of content but that's ok because they need to introduce the story & the characters.

I think the story will be great but i'm not into the i...cest, I really hope it will be optional.

The writing seems right and I'm already immersed in the story.

For now I put 5 stars because :
+ Good looking girl & unsual face
+ Story seems to be good written
+ Render seems okay

I just really hope the game will have possibility to choose the LI