Wall of text, TL;DR at bottom.
The heroines and their personalities are great, although there is very little in diversities in terms of bodies size but that isn't really much of an issue for me since big breasts are a preferred body type for me.
Ep 1 and 2, while very linear, is from my understanding a prologue and is supposed to be linear in development as opposed to the coming episode 3 which will be focused on the sandbox. This is good from a world building and character development standpoint since it allows you to flesh out the story better and have the character arcs flow naturally instead of having it trigger on set numbers.
Making some girls hard to court in the current episode (Koharu) was a good idea since it will prevent inconsistencies in the current story arc.
The time limit of a week is understandable from a storytelling point of view but is this the direction the game will continue? Is it going to always have a 1 week time limit?
The split personality MC is good but I would personally prefer the story to have a direction wherein both personalities eventually merge since the darker personality has proven that he isn't as much of an asshole as he first appears. This would also help player agency as it will no longer be two minds fighting for control of one body but rather just one mind having full control. Both personalities will also greatly benefit from each of them having parts of the other's personality.
As for some points that aren't so positive.
The two loser bullies are meant to be antagonists and they do an alright job at it but I would personally prefer an option to just permanently remove them from the story since they already only serve as a plot point rather than actual characters.
This can be done by having them just straight up expelled from the school and forced to relocate, send them to prison or have the MC beat them into submission over and over until they get the point.
There is also a problem with the current direction the story is headed in, I know you want to make it a darker story wherein rape (the current direction with the yakuza) and the like has the chance to happen to the heroines but not only will having it in the story be a problem for more casual fans but it will also cause issues with Patreon (Rape, Incest and more extreme fetishes are not welcomed by Patreon) and might lead to you either having to remove said content later on or forced to just remove your Patreon altogether.
I know you've already stated that rape and NTR will be optional and avoidable, but It should be made clearer, either through dev notes or patreon posts where EXACTLY the story is going because if you're going to have the heroines be raped by the Yakuza and people get blindsided by it then people are not going to like that kind of content even if it is meant to have the heroines build a better relationship by having the MC as an emotional anchor after a traumatic experience.
I think a better direction for that content would be to have it as a BAD END with an accompanied ending straight after rather than as a route wherein you can continue as it will make it clear that it is indeed an event wherein everything went horribly wrong rather than it being the direction the story will take.
I for one personally dislike NTR but there are games wherein it is properly interwoven into the story and isn't as distasteful as hard NTR from known artists. Mostly this is done by having said content be avoidable and have it be the fault of the MC should it happen. A Struggle with Sin, Seeds of Chaos and Custom Order Maid 3d2 come to mind as an example.
In those games, anytime such content happens, it is entirely through the fault of the player, either through refusing to do something about it, being an asshole or just the player choosing options that make the MC have it as their fetish. This is understandable and is more okay from a casual fans perspective since it shows that player agency is in the hands of the player instead of the writer/author forcing it on the player. So if you really want to include that kind of content then I implore you too look at said games as reference so as not to alienate a big chunk of your prospective crowd.
And for some suggestions
- Map markers should be added to where the current location of characters are.
- You should post more on different social media to gain traction. I've seen you post on r/unity2d but it is the wrong sub for that content, post it on r/lewdgames instead.
- To further add, any engagement is good engagement, the more comments on this thread and your other posts, the better.
- Please, please, please do NOT add unavoidable extreme fetishes, If you're going to add them then please have the option to avoid them. Better yet if you have a fetish toggle at the start to filter out content.
- Let us gift bomb or heart bomb, it's already hard to get gifts and corruption hearts there is no need to further gate it by limiting it to a single interaction.
TL;DR
Game is good but the direction the game is heading needs to be further clarified, what content is there going to be, how much agency does the player have and whether or not contentious content will be entirely unavoidable. Fetish toggle is also very much needed for upcoming content, and some QOL for finding heroines in the map too.
