VN - Ren'Py - Daughters of the Dragon [v0.109] [Lewd Raccoon Games]

VERSION: 0.109
SUMMARY: Promising but some changes are needed for this game to be 4 stars or more.

PROS:

1. Visually, the models are very nice, renders are very good.
2. Writing is not bad, structured well and grammatically fine also.

CONS:

1. This may be a little tricky to explain, but something that stood out for me immediately is the world and the characters. Specifically how they don't seem to fit, now I'm no historian, but the MC has kind of viking haircut yet the castle he is dragged to does not fit Norse culture AFAIK. The same about the queen, imagine a viking woman in a lavish ballroom style dress...my mind doesn't want to accept this...its not a deal breaker, but it is apparent...
2. The dialogue feels a bit forced to be more than it is, like a layman trying to speak Latin when they can't even articulate well in their native tongue. Again hard to explain but words used feel exaggerated to sound grander than the what is required, especially when the person narrating it is a farm boy or peasant who would have had little to any real education. Again, I am not some cultured historian or linguist but I have a hard time understand e.g., "her gaze let my blood boil through my veins" I understand I think what wants to be conveyed in this context...I mean blood is in your veins...so why say it at all? IDK maybe I am nitpicking, but I am saying that this should be revised IMO
3. I also feel the MC could be more muscular, which would be the logical assumption due to his lifestyle and humbled beginnings as a farm worker. This character looks like a boy, no scruff on his chin, no hair on his chest. The dialogue speaks of his "rippling" muscles "rigid outline of muscles" when he barely has any definition. Word to the developer, ruggedly handsome characters are always preferred.
4. Animations leave much to be desired, particularly the bathroom scene where the animations consists of 2 frames...if you not going to do it decently, rather don't do it as say...
5. No clear indication what choices do, what the long term effect is. No doubt a walk through would be useful to avoid forcing players to reload previous choices...

TLDR: Good start and idea, but falls flat due to aspects that do not fit in the plot, scene, world. Man child looking MC, clashes in culturally/historically accurate themes, customs etc, over the top dialogue that does not fit or read fluidly.

DEV: Less is more developer, say what you want to say without so many bells and whistles and for heavens sake, make your MC a man not a boy that never worked a day in his life with baby-soft skin

Visually it is very good, the story has potential, the sexual scenes do their job... but there are 2 points that can make this game not to please everyone:

1.- Animations: They are pretty bad, they look like 2 frames in loop at maximum speed (at least the animation of the bathroom looks like this), in this case it could be better just the static scene or those same frames but much slower and with a blurred effect.
2.- The “paths” and “replayability” that the dev promises, the truth is that less is more, and hardly players repeat the same game more than 1 time just to see that extra ending, now imagine repeating this again and again and again just to see all the content, I do not consider it convenient.

The game is highly recommended, but I hope the dev will take note of these details, and take them into consideration if possible.