Quick review: Interesting thing you got going on here, but very flawed. Here a few hints and suggestions.
Get a native english speaker to rewrite the dialogue, all of it! Most sentences are wrong, not grammatically, but in logic.
Allow players to choose what they want to happen. I'm okay with the weirdo getting pegged, I'd rather not see it but it happening doesn't bother me. The bathroom girl getting it on with the black dude, the bunny stripper getting it on with Mike and the main woman getting fucked by her weird husband are all things I'd rather avoid happening. In other words, allow us to play a path in which the MC's harem goes untouched by other men.
I love how pregnancy-focused the game is. The pre-established pregnancy is great, even if it's not explicitly the MC's child, and the fact that there are like 3 potential pregnancies on their way in this 10 minutes demo is excellent. Hope to see more of that in the future.
You can always look for opinions here before deciding anything, don't be afraid of asking questions.