Hey man, I just played your version and I love it! I'm baffled that it's so good on the first try and I hope you keep up the good work. I'm going to leave some thoughts here hoping that They might help you.
- At the beginning of the game there is a quick explanation about what happened before the game started, but the MC first dialogue is the same points, I felt that this was quite redundant.
- The same problem with the father dialogue, he throws information on the MC in a very unnatural way, I guess we can just have those dialogues separated so it doesn't sound so forced. They aren't a priority so that's just a small detail.
- All of the characters keep saying the same stuff over and over, Linda has at least three dialogues about her failed marriage in less than a minute in two different scenes separated, I think you can cut some dialogues for the sake of less repetition.
- I like the new Linda personality, from what I remember in the OG game she is not that nice to the MC, I can see why people might have a problem with the change, but (and this is totally subjective) I find it easier to like her as a character more now.
- Gloria tough is the complete opposite of herself, while Linda is kinder than before, Gloria has a completely new relationship with MC, which I find it off cuz the context of her scenes is what makes her so appealing to most players, she is the most unique character from the OG game (Linda still is the mom archetype in both versions) so I think this was not a good choice adaptation wise.
- Also, Gloria just straight-up has sex with the MC, why? One of the best parts of those types of games is to slowly forge a bond with the character and gradually get the scenes, Having Gloria from the get-go is really rushed cuz you skipped a whole arc with her when you could have both ways.
- Linda arc suffers the same although less, In only one conversation they are already going all out, I mean it looks like you wanna get away with the scenes the fast as possible, maybe afraid of the game having too much text and little action, but from a game point of view the action needs build up and this game just doesn't have it. I can only recommend a separation between the MC offering to Mom and later she accepts it.
- All the scenes are great and I honestly cannot tell which one was made by you or is from the original game.
Overall Part 1 could and should be bigger when it comes to dialogue and payoff, there is nothing wrong with not having a scene every 2 minutes. I gave it a 3 out of 5 with expectations high.